Hi everyone! Thanks for tuning in; I hope you all enjoyed the episode. This episode was a reminder of the struggle my husband and I are dealing with. We have been trying for years (as most of you know) to start a family. Unfortunately that hasn't worked out. I've suffered a few miscarriages and failed IVF treatments. Each year we become increasingly frustrated as nothing seems to be working. Some days I try not to think about it at all, otherwise I would drive myself crazy. Other days I think that our timing is off and when God sees fit, it will happen. On a bad day I think to myself that maybe I'm not meant to have kids. I know that’s horrible and negative, but I'm human.
My husband thought that using a surrogate might be an option in helping us carry a baby to term. This really upset me at first. I always knew this was an option, but never wanted to be the one to bring it up. It was the last thing I wanted to think about or try. It upset me tremendously to think that someone else might have to carry my child. I had fears that my baby and I would not feel connected if I did not carry myself. I also had fears about what the surrogate would be doing, eating, inhaling, if she would be stressed, healthy, and safe. So many questions ran through my mind when I realized this may really happen. Not only did I have these fears, but I felt that I wasn't doing my job as a woman. I felt like I failed my husband and my unborn child. I was very negative and upset with myself for a long time.
I have finally come to terms with my situation and have a positive outlook on everything. I have amazing family, friends, and a husband who supports me all the way. I know it’s just a matter of time before we have a beautiful baby of our own. I'm willing to try anything at least once.