Lisa Hochstein

Lisa dishes on her party disaster and the shocking news about Adriana.

on Aug 26, 20130

Hi everyone! Thanks for tuning in; I hope you all enjoyed the episode. This episode was a reminder of the struggle my husband and I are dealing with. We have been trying for years (as most of you know) to start a family. Unfortunately that hasn't worked out. I've suffered a few miscarriages and failed IVF treatments. Each year we become increasingly frustrated as nothing seems to be working. Some days I try not to think about it at all, otherwise I would drive myself crazy. Other days I think that our timing is off and when God sees fit, it will happen. On a bad day I think to myself that maybe I'm not meant to have kids. I know that’s horrible and negative, but I'm human.

My husband thought that using a surrogate might be an option in helping us carry a baby to term. This really upset me at first. I always knew this was an option, but never wanted to be the one to bring it up. It was the last thing I wanted to think about or try. It upset me tremendously to think that someone else might have to carry my child. I had fears that my baby and I would not feel connected if I did not carry myself. I also had fears about what the surrogate would be doing, eating, inhaling, if she would be stressed, healthy, and safe. So many questions ran through my mind when I realized this may really happen. Not only did I have these fears, but I felt that I wasn't doing my job as a woman. I felt like I failed my husband and my unborn child. I was very negative and upset with myself for a long time.

I have finally come to terms with my situation and have a positive outlook on everything. I have amazing family, friends, and a husband who supports me all the way. I know it’s just a matter of time before we have a beautiful baby of our own. I'm willing to try anything at least once.

113 comments
BrooklynBravo
BrooklynBravo

You have options that many women who are struggling with fertility don't have. Money and access to the top medical professionals. Being pregnant means your pregnant. Giving birth means you gave birth. A mother goes beyond those two physical acts. I agree with your husband. If I was in your shoes, you had better believe I'd be lining up surrogates around the corner. Not saying you can't continue to try for yourself, but you're not taking advantage of your privileges. For people who won't ever have access to that its painful to see. If you want to be a mom, you can easily make that reality for yourself. Count your blessings. 

Trvel
Trvel

Sorry...it's Bill Rancic

Trvel
Trvel

I understand how difficult this is for you. However, it's being a mother to a child that makes you a mom...not pushing one out of the birth canal. You have been given so much. Many people don't have the finances to do IVF. Your husband does not want to have children when he's 50. Talk with Guiliana and Bob Rancic. They did not carry their child during the surrogacy, but they carry him now...as his parents. By saying you weren't doing your job as a woman is an insult to all women who have difficulty conceiving, carrying a child to term, etc. If that's what defines your "womanhood," please re-evaluate your definition of a "woman." I wish you all the best of luck...just don't sell yourself short, or think you won't be connected to your baby, if someone else "carries" it. Please...talk to the Rancic's.

jdolph
jdolph

Love you Lisa.  Best wishes with your family issues.  I sure wish you and your husband well.  Stay away from Adrianna please.  She is a horrible woman.

faninmiami
faninmiami

Lisa! you're so sweet and have good intentions but what were you possibly thinking??  you can't blindside people like that girl! and please don't be fooled by Adrianna's lies--I know you are smarter than that!

 

I wish you the best of luck with your fertility issue--there is always adoption, and i know there are tons of babies in the world who are in desperate need of someone like you!

Irishgirl2
Irishgirl2

Please don't be hypocritical ..you know Adrienne is a liar. I thought you were smarter than this. Good luck with you fertility issue ..wishing you well.

threesistersx3
threesistersx3

Lisa,o

No matter how it works out f or you....once you hold your baby in your arms....you will bond and your hearts will be one.

Take care of yourself,  eat, rest, - and stay away from stress....and people who cause it.

Good Luck.

JuliefromTexas
JuliefromTexas

Lisa you are the sweetest Miami housewife. I hope your baby dreams come true. I can tell you and your husband would be doting parents.

 

BTW, is it possible Adriana married for citizenship, so it was never considered a 'real marriage" to her and her beau? It happens all the time. Just saying.

MrsWorldwide
MrsWorldwide

Lisa,

Just want to say you're great!  I, like so many fans, wanted to write to you and tell you that you can have a child.  I understand you've had some roadblocks, but you can.  You need to really look into why this is happening and test for everything like so many other fans have stated. Many women have been in your shoes and if you find the root cause then you can resolve it.

 

Dr.Di
Dr.Di

How about adoption? So many babies out there need a home and what a life you could give them.  Does it really matter if they are genetically your offspring?  Probably not.  I like watching you because unlike your castmates, you don't appear to be mean-spirited. How refreshing.

peacocksweden
peacocksweden

I wish you and Lenny good luck on starting your family. I feel sorry for you that you can´t carry the pregnancy to full term. I think you should listen to your husband and get a surrogate or even adopt. Carrying a baby in your stomach will not define you as a parent. Believe me I know, I´m adopted. What makes a parent is someone that will take care of you when you grow up, comfort you when you are sad, take care of you when you are ill and laught with you when you are happy. A parent is someone who you know will always be there for you. I could not have had better parents than my adoptive ones. 

loobydoob
loobydoob

Hi Lisa

 

Don`t worry about the other ladies concentrate on putting some weight on then your body will be ready to hold a baby please listen to quite a few people on here who have said the same thing I truly believe if you put 10 or 20 pounds on u would b successfully pregnant in no time :) your bodies obviously telling u something and that is UR FAR TOO THIN TO HOLD A BABY so listen to what its telling u :) being skinny is`nt everything and if ur hubby doesn`t like it how will he handle u bein extremely large when carrying his offspring!! ditch the size zero and get eating girl!! sorry for being so blunt but I believe thats where ur problems lie :) Love u on the show but please stop with the peacemaking its not ur responsibility!

 

Much Love

Linda from Scotland,UK

kcarlo10
kcarlo10

Hey Lisa,

 

This is not related to the show but is the first way i thought I could contact you.

I live in Australia and watching everything you are going through-that is so similar to myself I just had to write with afew suggestions for you.

I am also young-30 years old, and me and my partner have been trying to conceive for over five years. We have had four miscarriages and I cant seem to hold a baby past six wks. Weve also done six rounds of IVF. Throughout this time we have had extensive testing-and every single thing came up normal! Everyone just kept saying it was bad luck and to keep trying-but we as women know our bodies and I could feel we were missing something.

From the show it sounds like you have had a similar journey-numerous miscarriages, young, rounds of IVF, and all testing coming up with nothing...

My reason for writing to you is to ask if you have been tested yet for:

1. MTHFR-which is a gene mutation, that is treatable and causes recurrent mc, implantation failure

2. Natural Killer Cells-which also are treatable, but also cause recurrent mc and implantation failure.

 

Both of these things are not routine tests, and you have to go through quite alot of testing to get to this. Alot of doctors may not even mention these or consider them.

After more than five years, so may tests, and four mc, I have been found to have both of these things in the last six months!It took five years of testing, and me turning to alternative therapies to help my body that is obviously lacking something to not be able to maintain another person growing inside me.

So, just because you have such a similar story to myself, and also all tests showing nothing, I thought this may be of use to you. You need to try anything hey, and believe me-you will find an answer. I have always maintained that something would be found someday, somehow. And I always felt that it would be something small-not so serious, and treatable. I urge you to at least get tested for these two things.

And another thing-please dont place so much faith in the "medical" field. I did this for five years, and all I got was pressure to do IVF (as Im so young-it was just "meant to just happen!" they kept saying!), so many changes to my body, and not enough emphasis on simply listening to what your body is trying to tell you. SOMETHING is stopping your body from being able to grow that lil human being inside you-and while I firstly just wanted a quick fix-a medical answer for my problem-it took me years to learn that western medicine does not hold all the answers, and does not consider things outside the box-all they will do is keep pumping you with hormones, different medications, etc until they somehow achieve a pregnancy-through drugs!

I have learnt that my body is obviously not strong enough to grow a baby yet-so I have turned to acupuncture, chines herbs, supplements and alternative therapies to build my body up, gain strength and be generally healthy. You will find when you do this what a difference it makes! While doctors dont care if your cycle, for example, is irregular, and will try to control it with drugs instead, this is wrong. When you think about it simply, having a regular cycle is the very essence of carrying a pregnancy successfully. If it doesnt happen that way, why would the rest?? By doing acupuncture, and herbs and supplements, you can put in place changes that are extremely crucial in the cycle of life. While doing this, of course, there is a place for western medicine, hence the suggestions I made above. Such non-serious things that are treatable.

But help yourself by trying alternative therapies-to build youre body up, getting ovulation started again if it has gone haywire, regulating your cycle, and strengthening your body.

 

I really hope I have given you some new things to think about trying and testing-and dont give up. I havent for five years now, and have only just found such a small issue compared to what I was expecting.....all I can say is to listen to what your body is telling you......and what I have learnt through my journey is that it all really does begin with your cycle....

I wish you all the best and hope you find this helpful (I hope you actually get this too!!)

If you would like to talk more about these things with someone who is on a similar path, or you do get tested and find you have anything and would like someone to relate to please dont hesitate to contact me on kcarlos@y7mail.com,

 

I hope you achieve your dream, and am certain we will both one day hold that angel in our arms......our time is coming darl, we just have to wait a lil longer:)

Kiarni

patcaseygold
patcaseygold

Please just focus on having a family. The women on this show are all capable of anything and I would put distance between you and them. You only need to film together, not be friends. 

 

SunsetPlazaGuy
SunsetPlazaGuy

LOVE you Lisa!! Watching you makes me giggle. Eat something please! If you wanna get knocked-up you gotta start grazing!! xo

Itokagi23
Itokagi23

Lisa,

Lea did nothing but help Adriana, have you watched the previous shows??? Be careful about putting yourself into the middle when Adriana is involved, she's a complete mess!

ladymorgan
ladymorgan

Lisa,

 

You are adorable.  I know you mean well trying to get everyone back together; however, I believe that Adrianna is a liar. I watched the meeting with Lea, and Adrianna did not let Lea speak. She pointed the finger at Lea and pretended to be the VICTIM. Adrianna is not a victim; but I do believe she is a pathological liar.  Be careful around her, she may turn on you as well.

 

I pray that you and your hubbie will get pregnant soon!

 

Team Lisa!!!

Bravofanandprocessor
Bravofanandprocessor

Lisa! Please remain hopeful and positive on your journey to become a mother! I was in your shoes ten years ago. Now I have three crazy beautiful children who drive me happily nuts. You will get there. I could not hold a first trimester pregnancy without hormones...... You and your handsome doctor husband will figure it out. You are lovely and beautiful and it will happen for you!

babybachribs
babybachribs

Lisa I love you and I am so sad about your struggle to have a child. My most legitimate suggestion to you is that you look into putting on about 10-20 pounds. I honestly believe that this could be the solution to your problem. 

Best

ardelle
ardelle

Well, time to get a clue! Lea was the victim in this. Can't believe how Adrianna turned it back to Lea and how she explained what happened to her husband. I believed Adrianna all along, I liked her, but after seeing how she tried to manipulate Lea and out and out lied again to her husband, she dropped to my least favorite. She needs to go. Can't believe how she lies - won't be able to believe anything she says now. She needs to go, as the more she is on, it is a waste of my time. Poor Lea! I thought was more than generous.

alexalena
alexalena

You are the cutest little love bird, the brightest and lightest of them all. I wouldn't watch this show without you. You will be a wonderful mom.

NoraUlpiano
NoraUlpiano

I feel Lisa is the most honest one in the group with a true heart and soul.  If I had the chance to be friends with any one of them I would choose Lisa.  It is obvious to me that she is a true friend to all of them.  I do really hope that she doesn't pick up any of the other girls bad habits and turn into one of them.  She is smart, giving forgiving and trusting.  What she needs to learn is not to trust so much and to never let her guard down with these ladies.  I'm not saying they don't have goodness in them I'm just saying that their flaws are not something I would want to expose myself to too much.

riley4444
riley4444

Lisa, You are AWESOME.

 I just wanted to say I sympathize with what you are going through with the pregnancy issue? I have pelvic cancer and have a similar situation. Talking about it on tv, helps a lot of women, including myself. also your very lucky to have your husband who seems to be understanding and caring about it. You seem to be one of the most honest cast members in all the housewives, thank you for sharing your life, all the way from Vancouver island BC Canada:)   Oh and does your husband do boobs for outa towners!?:P   peace.

bombom01
bombom01

Hey Lisa I want to let u know ure not the only one dealing with miscarriages i feel really sorry ..I had 5 miscarriages and its very stressful..the doctors could never figure it out what it was but now it's different I just had a baby because I took progesterone before getting pregnant for four months and during the pregnancy I start taking on 12 week and it worked and I could have the baby I hope this work for you too.

monione
monione

Lisa, I can relate to your struggles and I feel for you.  Every time you cry, I cry watching, because I know exactly what you are feeling.  I hope and pray that you get the baby of your dreams!  Good luck!

SecretSquirrel
SecretSquirrel

I'll have to look back on the episode but if I remember right I remember Adriana saying they went through the whole process and had the license but never actually had the ceremony.  In either case the point is that Lea felt that she was giving Adriana money to help support her and her son while she was married to a man who could have and should have supported her.  Now if that was the case just add up the money and give it back to her and take whatever pictures she did and call it even.  I actually don't think Lea is or was her friend to bring this up but more of a charity.  No one would continue to constantly talk about supporting a friend or her child and she is out of line.

mairechno
mairechno

I had my first successful delivery at age 39 second was a surprise at 40. If IVF is not working, the embryo is your fertilized egg, you are the mother and  your husband the father of YOUR surrogate delivered newborn.

Flagrllovesbg
Flagrllovesbg

Lisa, you were beautiful as always! You will be a wonderful mother when the time comes!!!

BZGUY79
BZGUY79

I do hope everything works out and you and your husband can have a baby. I wish you the best and I do believe in miracles and I will keep you in my prayer. XOXO

 

In regards to the gathering you planned, I know you meant well. I was shock that Lea and Joanna had a piece of paper with Adriana info. Clearly Lea and Joanna were prepare and their agenda was not just to hangout and LET IT GO AND HAVE FUN! As a viewer last season you had a hunch about Lea and I think, that hunch is still correct.

 

The way I see it, who cares if Adriana lied about her marriage, how does it affect anyone? A real friend will be supportive in good and in bad moments. Lea volunteer to help adriana, she has the power to say Yes or No, IN this world you never have victims only volunteers.

rosyposy
rosyposy

I hope you learn that you bond with a child by holding it and just loving it.  Carrying it yourself is not the measure of being a mother.  We have multiple adopted children in our family.  I would challenge anyone who does not know to pick out the adoptees from the others.   Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and just be joyful that you have a path open to you to become a mother.  Good luck!

piperbeau
piperbeau

Lisa I really do like you but sometimes I don't think your scenes are authentic! To me I feel like your too busy trying to be politically correct and don't want to come across looking bad that you don't actually say what's on your mind or if you do it is so controlled it doesn't come across as authentic... You always talk with these very short sentences or one liners! You don't seem to engage organically in conversations! Its weird I can't put my finger on it.. Maybe you just seem a little rehearsed! But anyways Adriana is clearly lying! and she also lied when she told you ladies that Lisa knew she was already married??!! wtf?? makes no sense.... Call it like you see it....

jfigz
jfigz

Lisa, you are by far the realest on the show but please dont get involved. Joana is only trying to drag you through the mud with her. You're a smart girl stay away from that!

MissSuziQ
MissSuziQ

I understand you wanting to carry a baby on your own. But please don't think this will make your bond with your child any stronger than if you used a surrogate. I am adopted, and my mom, who I miss every single day, was the BEST mother in the world to me. We had a wonderful relationship, and she was my biggest supporter in every aspect of my life right up until the day she died. I have no doubt you will be a wonderful mother Lisa. Don't miss out on the opportunity due to a "technicality". Good luck, and God Bless.  

StLRHFan
StLRHFan

As someone who dealt with infertility for many, many years with no obvious reason for it , do NOT assume that you know the outcome, even when on numerous occasions IUI, IVF, and other infertility options have failed you.  It is my sincerest hope that you are blessed with a baby, as I was.   

valerie101
valerie101

Lisa please you are taking the "world's best friend whisper" too far. You are starting to seem very insincere. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see Adriana for what she is. Come on please start being real.

ambs2013
ambs2013

I used to like you last season but it looks like you were trying to set Lea up and then you have the nerve to act like someone shoulve consulted you about what happened between Lea and the serpent audriana.  Like who do you think you are and how is that any of your business if Lea wanted you to know she wouldve told you gosh just hush just stop worry about your own life.

CityGirl95
CityGirl95

Here is the short answer to your question about Adriana: She did lie and BETRAY Lea! Lea thought she was helping a poor struggling helpless single-mother! How dare Adriana tell her she wasn't married! That's a huge lie! She begged Lea to help her because she didn't know what she was going to do. Adriana is so selfish and mean. Facts and paper-work don't lie.

@GODISGOODALLTHETIME1
@GODISGOODALLTHETIME1

Lisa, you're a sweet gal and i pray to God that your wishes come to pass. However, be mindful that God help those who help themselves. Stressing yourself with this trash Adriana and the other 2 dummies is unnecessary when you have more important issue to think about. 

Bottom line is, Adriana was married, didn't tell her then friend Lea just to squander money from her and her charity. She is a THIEF!

Please live a stress free life if you want to have a baby by yourself, love your husband more and try to consider his idea if it doesn't happen for you. God work in a mysterious way, you never know what would happen when the first one comes. Good things happen when you least expect. 

Good luck to you on everything!

sajkel
sajkel

Lisa, just do you. Hang with people who are good to you and forget the rest. You have more important things to worry about that these women and their nonsensical bickering

Dreid123
Dreid123

It's none of your business. Lea is capable of dealing with her issues with Adriana. You put Lea in a very awkward situation. Get a job and deal with your own personal struggles. I'm not feeling you at all this season. Get a life!!!

Suzinsandiego
Suzinsandiego

What ticks me off is that it appears Adrianna either received tuition money for her son from Lea or her foundation or had the tuition reduced or forgiven - this as a result of her relationship with Lea and the belief Adrianna was a struggling single mom. I call that fraud and I would feel duped too. If you're married, you and your husband (or the bio dad) should support the child to the best of their ability. Isn't that what the rest of us do? Is private school a necessity or did Adrianna & Fredrick consider it their right? Sickening!

Beckymgrey
Beckymgrey

 @kcarlo10 I didn't read that entire post, but it sounds as though you went through a lot. I think it's wonderful of you to share your experience. 

jbey
jbey

 @BZGUY79 Totally agree - if Adrianna is lying why should Joanna care? She doesnt like Adrianna so she should just leave her out of her mouth. I honestly have not heard Adrianna discussing Joanna. For Joanna to have a copy of Adrianna's marriage license conveniently stashed in her purse was odd and obsessive to me

Lubby
Lubby

 @Suzinsandiego I think Lea needs to sue her for fraud and deception. If she doesn't the charity will suffer. 

lovedesign
lovedesign

 @Suzinsandiego I agree! This sounds like fraud. And Adriana is lucky that Lea doesn't get her husband to take her to court!

Trvel
Trvel

 @jbey  @BZGUY79

 Have you seen, or heard about, Adriana's vindictive behavior by trying to pull up anything she could on Lea? I don't think Lea was doing it to be vindictive, but to understand why this so called friend would lie to her for years. Really? If this happened to you, you wouldn't be a bit upset that your friend had lied to you about something so significant for years?. Saying you're a single mom, and acting as if in need of help is the problem here; not Lea's trying to understand it, and try to talk with Adriana about it without Adriana flying into a rage. Deflection? A man's worst enemy in being an adult. Take responsibility! And I think Joanna's trying to figure it out as well; and she's Lea's friend, and has seen how this pack of she-wolves have attacked Lea. You are incorrect that there are never victims in this world; ever heard of child abuse? Rape? So they're volunteers?

Dreid123
Dreid123

@lovedesign thanks. She's really annoying this season.

Trvel
Trvel

 @kris3186  @Suzinsandiego

 That's not the point. She defrauded everyone. Her husband is wealthy yet they used people, and/or institutions, to get out of paying the tuition. Just like they did with their taxes.

Eurogirl
Eurogirl

 @kris3186  @Suzinsandiego

 I DO live in Florida and for the most part, many of the private schools are worse than public. They fudge their grades to make them look better than they are and they don't have the same oversight. There are decent public schools in Florida; you just have to be involved every step of the way or your child will get lost in the system. I also find it very flippant of you to insinuate that parents that can't pay for private school don't care about their child's education.

jbey
jbey

 @Trvel  @BZGUY79  Who said there are never victims in this world? Maybe I missed it but I certainly know I didnt say it - Adrianna has a lot of issues but Lea is no saint.  They need to sit and really resolve their issues. However - Joanna should worry about her own relationships and stay out of Lea's and Adrianna's. If she was such a better or bigger person - she wouldnt be worried about  Adrianna.