"The content of the book itself is inappropriate. I don't talk to my daughter about prostitution or kidnapping." - Dina

How to get your soon-to-be husband back when he invites 750 people to your wedding:
"I invited the gas station attendant cause I got mad...I went and I pulled up for gas and he always gave me chocolate bars and I'm like, 'You wanna come to a wedding?'" -Dina

Andy: "So you had a relationship with Don Johnson."
Danielle: "It wasn't a relationship."
Andy: "So you did it with Don Johnson."
Danielle: "Nooo...we, what do they call it now? Hooked up. Hooked up is I guess making out? I like to kiss...that was a big thing for me. We never had sex."

"Some people, they're not really clen-Z-iness." -Teresa

On Teresa's husband Joe calling the dance instructor gay:
Andy: "I think it was offensive. I do and I think a lot of people out there watching thought it was offensive."
Teresa: "The night that that show aired we had a gay guy over...and he was cracking up!"
Andy: "Right."
Teresa: "He's like, 'whoever takes offense to that, they're stupid'.... that's what he said to me and he's very gay!"

"No you're just trying to make drama Danielle. Your name should be Drama. You say I'm Dina-ized. You're Drama-ized." - Teresa

"I am small, but I am scrappy. And you don't wanna mess with me." - Caroline

Andy: "Your ex husband who wrote the book said you were dating a big time Columbian cocaine dealer, that you were a paid escort - "
Danielle/Beverly: "I will not discuss any of that."
Andy: "- a raging nymphomaniac, you had a boob job, an eyebrow lift, and that you're a pathological liar."
Danielle/Beverly: "OK, maybe I'll discuss some of it."

"Jacqueline is FIERCE. I would not want to tangle with Jacqueline." - Caroline

"What I would like to clear up is this man came to Miami, he brought me back to New York, married me, began to beat me relentlessly, terrorized me, and I'm lucky I got away from him. I was a tortured child...I was adopted into an abusive family. I was raped by the age of 8 by a family member, and tossed around like a rag doll. When I left home I was very, very young, and I was brutalized. This guy terrorized my life." -Danielle

On Caroline and Jacqueline's alleged fist fight:
Andy: "I heard a rumor that there was a punch thrown once."
Jacqueline: "It was like a slap maybe."
Caroline: "And I was on the receiving end, so that goes to show you."

"I think that I want my kids to stay as busy as possible so they never really have any kind of sex. But if they were to have any kind of sex at all, I would hope it would be, maybe phone sex! It's the safest sex you can have." - Danielle