In the scene where I went to pick up my summons with my mom, there's no need to tell me, I KNOW I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. I blame some of it on editing, the rest was just me being immature. I wasn't excited for court, obviously. I didn't even remember saying that, HA! To quote my Aunt Caroline's blog:
"As reality show participants we have the unique opportunity to view ourselves from the outside looking in. I'm hoping that Ashley will look at her behavior along with her attitude towards Jacqueline and make a conscious effort to move in a positive direction."
Caroline is absolutely correct. Since we last filmed, I have grown a lot as a person. I still make mistakes along the way, but I definitely learn from them. Every time I watch an episode, I grow even more. As my aunt said, we can view ourselves from the outside looking in, and I have seen a lot that I need to improve. Most of it I already knew, but it's just another reminder of things I needed to and still need to change. I am young, but I am not a kid. I am going to be 20 in a few months. I am not going to use my age as a crutch for how I acted and have been acting. I know it was wrong to pull Danielle's hair. I am sorry for how it happened, but I do not regret it. Everything happens for a reason. I do not like Danielle, I have plenty of good reasons not to. I don't like her, and I never will. That doesn't mean that I didn't learn from the experience. I don't need to like her and forgive her for all she has done in order to learn something from all this. If you all still think that I'm a bitch for not feeling sorry for her that night, then fine. I tell things like they are, not how they should be. I'm not about being fake. I'm not going to sit here and say, "I wish her the best, I am so sorry, blah, blah, blah," like SOMEONE else does. To be honest, I don't wish her well. I just hope karma catches up with her one day. I have been trying to not talk about her, and for the most part I haven't. What some people have to realize is #1. I have people asking me questions about her, and the show, and I'm not going to ignore people's questions. #2. Seeing these episodes rehash a lot of angry feelings I have towards her and writing my blog and on commenting on my Twitter and Facebook is my way of venting. #3. Danielle is STILL currently trying to mess with my life. So, sorry if you have a problem with it. I do have a life besides being "obsessed" with Danielle. HA! I have a job. I go to school. I just recently started an internship in the city. I have another internship in the city coming up in the fall. I am looking into getting an apartment. Things are going REALLY well for me right now! I spend most of my free time with my boyfriend Derek, (we have been happily together for a year and three months now) and my amazing friends. I spend the rest of my free time with my wonderful family. I really am blessed, and I have been working hard to not let any negativity get me down. I am happy with how things in my life are going. I see a bright future for myself.