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Cut the Cattiness

Bethenny weighs in on the Teresa stage mom debate, the Danielle book scandal debacle, and more.

By Bethenny Frankel

So everyone wants me to rip on Jersey a bit more. Truthfully, it speaks for itself. How can I beat up on Teresa and Jacqueline? They are simple girls who don't seem like they could defend themselves. As far as the stage mom thing, I was half wrong. I'm sure Teresa created this precocious, pretty little girl with a set of luggage to rival that of J. Lo, but Gia seemed to be quite the little actress on her own. That scene where she carried her luggage, sorted through her jeans, answered her cell phone and said that everyone wants her now confirmed for me that she was an actress in the making. The gossip girl call was more exciting to me then Teresa who left the decision up to Gia. Feeling better about this plotline.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

I'm happy that Jacqueline's eggs seem ready to roll, and rumor has it that she currently is pregnant. Cute husband and thank God we saw that he exists. That scene hit home for me since this chicken has no clue about her eggs. Aside from the fertility conversation, Jacqueline's story is underwhelming. She should thank her lucky stars for the Danielle controversy because it is what keeps her relevant and interesting. Neither she nor Teresa on their own are riveting whatsoever. The people around them keep them alive.

Everyone still loves Caroline, but I'd love to see a bit more about her other than the lion protecting her cubs. I thought there was no reason for her to be so upset at the dancing scene. Danielle is nuts and she took her dance lesson seriously. The rest of the cast obviously went for the show or to act interested or for a good group activity. I would take a free lesson with a professional seriously too (minus the leotard and tap shoes) not to mention that she can dance. We will later find out how and where she honed her dancing skills.

Gaylord and gay comments? Lovely. I can feel the blogs ripping Teresa's husband right now. Danielle has her moments, but I agreed with her calling him out and saying not to verbally disrespect her. True - it isn't her husband, and I'd rather date that 26-year-old sleazy troll boyfriend of Danielle's than Teresa's ignorant, uneducated gay-bashing husband. Now he is going to put a hit out on me.

Dina was cute with her daughter in her leopard rug, leopard backdrop and leopard suitcase packing scene. She took the term catfight seriously. Lexi is adorable and quirky and this dynamic is sweet and fun. I can understand the teenage empty nest fear particularly because Dina comes from a large nest of brothers and sisters. We need to meet her husband. Otherwise it all makes no sense. I also would like to see more of Dina in general because this Danielle drama is oddly boring. It is a big scandal, but I found it more interesting when Kim from Atlanta drank chardonnay in an open car. Cast members of other housewife shows such as Tamra, Gretchen, Nene and Kim are more entertaining in and of themselves. This show relies on others and storylines for entertainment. Plus, we never see Dina and Danielle together, so we have no idea why this drama even exists. We can't pick a side here because it could be in everyone's imagination for all we know.

Now to the Danielle deal. It isn't pretty, but it was 24 years ago. I can't even tell you all of the things I was doing 24 years ago that I shouldn't have. Judging by her girls, I'd sooner have her babysit my kid then some of these other women. Granted, she was a moron for not outing herself. She is in fact on a reality show, but otherwise, everyone has a past and she isn't exactly proud of hers. It isn't anyone's business.

The women are catty and mean. I'm not defending Danielle because she is definitely unstable, but I won't hold people accountable for actions 2 and a half decades ago. What has she been doing since then is what I want to know.

Tell me none of these Jersey wives have ever done something illegal since a quarter of a century ago and I'll begin to crucify Danielle.

Also, I know her friend Tom and he's a lovely guy. She's a bit of a mess but I am not going to assassinate her character on this alone. Her 20 engagements, 26-year-old jerk of a boyfriend and obsession with youth are what I'll focus on from here on in.

I hear the next two weeks are something else, so bring it.

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