First of all, congratulations on your new baby girl, Teresa. She is absolutely beautiful. With that said, Joe - hospital OR coffee? Oh wait, when you got to the hospital, did Teresa say, "We had a 9 o'clock appointment," and you actually got there at 10? Were you really in labor, or was that an act?
On your way to the hospital, if you are going to feed your little baby something, being that you have a cookbook and all, why don’t you make her something other than a frozen breakfast? Perhaps something you won’t find in MY freezer, and oh, just in case you’ve forgotten, Teresa - I didn’t write a cookbook. I wrote a memoir. Maybe instead of naming recipes after ME, you can buy your very own copy of my book and read, just a little bit, but not at those times when your husband seems to be on the phone, at really important times - like when YOU are in labor! Seriously Joe, do you even care about the pain that goes along with labor? I mean, I don’t feel anything for your wife, but as a woman I kind of felt bad for her. How can you not know how to comfort your wife? I’m even feeling bad for her now. But, wait, then she asked about her makeup? OK, maybe not feeling bad so much anymore. Carry on Joe, do what you like. What some women will put up with just to continue shopping. And I’m the "Prostitution Whore"? Just sayin’.
One more thing (again) please Teresa, please stop talking about your privates.
There was a really beautiful moment between Dina and Teresa. Dina, congratulations on being a godmother. I wish I could understand what Teresa says so I knew her baby’s name. Either way, she is a gorgeous little baby.
Jacqueline, just when I think you couldn’t be more of an idiot then you already are, you have the safe from the next world war, in your home, with small children running through it at all times. I don’t care that it’s a LOCKED safe. All it takes is one moment for something to go terribly wrong. Believe me, I know. And don’t say you are “weirded out." You didn’t seem so weirded out by the guns as you strapped on the holster of bullets like Miss America’s sash and picked up a very large rifle (pardon me for being naïve, I’m not really that educated on weapons) - but you seemed real comfortable, Jacqueline.