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Twilight Zone

Real Housewife of NYC Jill Zarin shares her thoughts on this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey.

By Jill Zarin

Welcome back to the Twilight Zone, as Caroline says. First, I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend and thought of our troops overseas defending us every day for our freedom. I know many of our service men and women watch our franchise on iTunes or online and I hope we give you an hour to escape and laugh. This show, like mine, is meant to entertain you. Sometimes we are not shown in the nicest light - if you know what I mean. I can only comment on what I see and I will leave it the ladies to explain what happened in their individual blogs.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

So here we go...week three...

Teresa, you don't know how to drive to NYC? Please tell me that was a joke on the camera crew? If what I was seeing was what you were seeing, I know exactly where you were and the signs are clearer than clear. Leave early if you have an important appointment. First impressions are everything. Rather be early than late. Blah, blah, blah. You made it.

Wilhelmina is the BEST. Marlene Wallach is one of the most well-known experts in the child modeling industry. I agree with her...no makeup! I am so happy Teresa is taking her advice. Gia's eyes are the most beautiful eyes on TV (well, except for Ally of course.)

Jaime, who are you? It wasn't clear to me. Are you Dina's brother? My only comment is that designers are often not practical. Dina was right about plastic. Sticky. I totally related to Dina regarding her daughter. I also have one daughter. I love to work and am often torn between balancing my career and being a good mom. A good mom does not have to be home everyday at 3PM. It is a rare luxury today to have a mom home at 3PM and we should not judge, lest we be judged.

Jacqueline, you were brave to share your daughter's academic struggle with America. You gut instinct is correct...NO CAR. No matter what, we can all see what a great mom you are and want to be. I always think, 'What would Gloria do?' She would say no car. Nothing. I feel for you having to baby-sit your 17-year-old daughter, but do what you have to do. She will thank you for it later.

Danielle, we get it, you have a great body and you work hard for it. Please tell me I don't have to watch you exercise every episode? You daughter seems wise in her interview. Trust her. Our children see things we don't see.

Caroline, I just noticed we all must shop the same stores. Ally and I have noticed quite a few similarities in our wardrobes. I see Tory Burch, Milly, Alice and Olivia (Ally wore the same blue dress as Dina in our finale, remember?) I also notice how many boobies there are on this show! I mean, I admit I am OBSESSED with boobies and can't help but notice that more than one of the ladies is big like I was. (If you didn't know already, I had a breast reduction last month!). I love that Jacqueline is mentoring Lauren. I would love to hear from Lauren that she wants to "own" her own salon one day. I can't help but feel she is being pressured into it. So Lauren, please tell us how you feel. I do love Caroline's involvement. I rather her be too involved than the opposite. She is obviously her biggest fan and all children need that.

Now onto Teresa and Gia's modeling shoot day. When she says, "OMG, OMG," I can just picture her as a little Teresa and so adorable. She gets cuter every week. OK, what is with all the wardrobe? Who told her that she needed to bring Gia's entire closet and then some? All she needed was 3-5 outfits TOPS. A composite sheet is only a few looks.

Danielle, please, I beg you, I can't watch smart women get shot up on TV anymore. I like my Botox too, but does anyone really want to see the needle go in? Let's agree to let Dr. 90210 do the plastic surgery on TV. The producers wanted me to do my breast reduction on the show last season, but I chose to keep it private for a reason. I hope and pray that in the future, plastic surgery on TV is kept to a minimum. I did LOVE Teresa's honesty when she said she was only there because it was free. I can think of two things right now: "Nothing is free" and "You get what you pay for." Do either of these sayings ring true since filming that scene?

Dina, thank you for reminding me to teach Ally how to fend for herself. Time passes so quickly and I always say I will teach her tomorrow. Tomorrow is today and Ally, you need to clean up your room now! Also, you need to start making us dinner once a week. Seriously, if not now, when? When will she ever learn how to be self-sufficient?

Jacqueline, if you are going to "Mama Caroline" for help, then LISTEN to her! She is right. I hope you did not give Lauren the car, or at least I hope you waited until after she passed summer school to give it to her.

Danielle, you said early in the episode that people should "own it," meaning you don't like liars. Were you a stripper? If yes...own it. You seemed to be self-conscious in front of the cameras and what your children would "see" on the show, yet you used the most vulgar language imaginable when you stepped outside to gossip about Steve at dinner. Clearly he was "not that into you" and it showed. As Bethenny says, "You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself."

My last comment on episode 3 is that I want a friend like Caroline to investigate for me too! The more I watch Caroline the less she is like the coming attractions made her out to be. The "thick as thieves" line scared me and 2 million viewers, but the more I watch, the more I like her!

I hope you like my blog style. I write it as I watch the episode scene by scene. If you want to live chat with me during the week, go to www.therealfansofjillzarin.com and sign up for chat alerts and www.chictini.com for my fashion looks each week.

Love,
Jill Zarin
www.jillzarin.com

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