Audriana's Big Fat Italian Christening

Hello Sweethearts!
What a fabulous episode! Audriana's Big Fat Italian Christening! I loved reliving that day. What a special day. There is nothing better than celebrating milestones with your family and friends around you.

Remember that first episode of the season when Danielle hired a priest to talk about how she was a changed woman and that none of us go to church? I think we see how that turned out…

We are Roman Catholic and a baby's christening — dedicating their life to God — is such a special, joyous event. I am so honored I was able to share it with you guys. Of course it was over the top – it's a once in a lifetime event! But before any of the haters jump on me about it, realize it was filmed by Bravo at the Brownstone and planned by Dina. They obviously all took great care of me. Didn't Dina and I do a fantastic job planning it? Did you see how the lace on the cake matched the lace on Audriana’s dress? My absolute favorite was the Marie Antoinette serving sushi off her dress. How amazing was that?

And Christopher was a champ. He's a great guy and I think he definitely continue at the Brownstone and take over for his daddy one day (maybe soon… Caroline wants you home more Albert!)

OK, so to answer a few of your questions. The christening was at St. John's Cathedral in Paterson, NJ. My dress was Mandalay. The vintage baby carriage Audriana was in is Dina's. Her mama gave it to her as a gift when Lexi was born. Our first dance with Audriana was to "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride.

One last note: Dina, I love you like a sister. You are a great godmother. Jacqueline, I loved seeing you and Ashley share a special moment, and Caroline crying... I'm so blessed to great friends. Even though we're not family, we're all family!

Alright, from one family's happiness to another's psychosis…. There needs to be a new Emmy award category for "Most Awkward Moment on TV" or maybe "Most Hypocritical Speech" by in any case, it would definitely go to Danielle taking her daughter to the gynecologist. Wow. Wow. Wow. I was horrified for poor Christine. I do think she's a lovely girl, as is little Jillian, but I'm not sure I can give credit for that to Danielle's parenting. In fact, I would rather staple my tongue to the table. Danielle says she has great daughters because she "gives them great GUIDANCE?!?" If by "guidance" she means showing them exactly how not to live your life, making sex tapes in the house they live in, and having them reprimand HER for her booty calls… then yes, good job Danielle.

As a public service though, I was happy to see Bravo show a teenager going to the gyno to talk about HPV. It's a serious STD. Unlike when we were kids and you could just get a shot of penicillin, HPV is a non-treatable virus that can cause cancer that KILLS young women. And like the doctor said, it can be transmitted through intimate touch, not just sex. You should talk to your doctor about getting your girls the HPV vaccine when they hit puberty.

Then we got to go to the diner with Danielle and her daughters yet again – I feel so bad for those girls. Do they ever get a home cooked meal? And Danielle turned the crazy up to "high" again right in front of them, ignoring Christine's calm logic, snapping at Jillian - "Do you even realize how serious this is?!?" — until the little girl got a glazed look in her eyes and went to her "happy place." Then Danielle had to leave the restaurant to take care of it immediately by calling an ex-con? What? And he says, "Let me know how you want to handle it." And we're supposedly threatening her. Yeah, right…

For the record, I have never heard that Danielle was searching for her birth mom. Total news to me. And I certainly didn't talk about it to other people. I'm curious, Danielle, where exactly do I get my eyebrows done that this went down? Yeah, I thought so.

My name coming up here at all was ridiculous because I also have nothing to do with Kim G. Never have. She's never been to my house except for my housewarming party. We don't hang out. The last time I saw her was at the fashion show when she was grabbing me. We never filmed together. I think obviously she's desperate to be on the show and was using my name as a red flag in front of Danielle the bull, but I had nothing to do with it. I don't care if Danielle finds her real mom or not. It's none of my business. What is my business is once again, your lies Danielle. I read your lame blog. Let's say it again, all together: "My house is not, nor ever was, in foreclosure."

I was proud of Jacqueline for calling Kim G. out on her two-facedness. But Kim G. charging in there all upset because of an email where Danielle told someone not to be friends with her seemed a little overdone. From Danielle, that's like getting roses. Please. I think Kim G. wound herself up pretty good, and watching her go off the chain was pretty hilarious though. I have to say, I don't think Danielle provoked her too badly, and yet there she was, screaming "square tits!" and throwing napkins and chasing Danielle out of the restaurant. Funny, I think I remember Kim G. saying that I lacked self-control. Interesting.

Even though "square tits" was funny, the craziest thing of the whole episode was Danielle talking in a demented baby voice in one of her interviews. I actually threw holy water on the TV set, just in case. Thank you all, my GORGEOUS fans, for supporting me and buying Skinny Italian. The success of it all is so humbling and amazing. I love love love you all! Follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice or joing my Fan page on Facebook so we can chat.

Tanti Baci,
Teresa