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Who DOES That?

Teresa talks sex tapes, stripteases, and Dina's final farewell.

By Teresa Giudice

 

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/7c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

Hello Sweethearts!

Well, I see that Danielle’s blog is already up and she’s copied me from last week: she has nothing but nice things to say. Well, not really nice about anyone but herself. But I guess if the entire episode this week was about me acting as she did, I wouldn’t blog much either.

Danielle, Danielle, Danielle, I’m saying this from a place of love and light, but you need to get off the pole. Watching you and Kim G.’s old lady butt cracks was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen. I don’t believe for a second that they used to throw $100 bills at you when you were a “burlesque dancer.”

Last year you taught your kids about phone sex, sex for money, and even Christine said the guys only dated you for your “goodies” (although like Jacqueline said, if a guy is texting while he’s having sex with you, it can’t be good). This year, you’ve taught them about making a sex tape and videotaping yourself masturbating. Again, WHO DOES THAT???

For the record, Joe and I did NOT set poor Danielle up with Steve. I would never set her up with anyone. She came to a girlfriend’s jewelry party with me, and Joe and Steve stopped by. Steve is friends with Joe’s cousin. We all went out for drinks and Danielle and Steve went to dance and started making out. Joe and I were shocked. Like, blown away. We were looking at the two of them like they had 10 heads. We couldn’t believe it. She’s 50 and he was 26! Never in a million years did I think she would even be interested in a guy half her age. Little did I know back then what she was interested in… but in any case, I did NOT set her up. Fill in the rest of her lies here.

 

It was sad to see Dina say goodbye, but it’s not really goodbye for me. I’m lucky and get to see her all the time. I can see how upset fans are going to be though, because she is amazing and funny and has such a good heart. Maybe if you make her the godmother of your child, she’ll be in your life too!

I wish they had showed more of the pumpkin picking with me, Joe, and the girls. It was a beautiful day and we had so much fun! There is nothing more important than spending time with your family and friends that you love.

It was amazing to meet so many of you this week on my book tour. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times more, I have the most GORGEOUS fans!

Skinny Italian was on the New York Times bestseller list for the fourth straight week this week! I cannot believe it! Thank you all so much! I think everyone is looking for ways to spend less and have more family time, and eating dinner at home every night gives you both. And the recipes are freakin’ phenomenal, I have to say. I love when you all write me about how your kids are eating vegetables, how you are losing weight eating the pasta you love, and how you are spending more time with your family. It makes everything – even the nasty, twisted press – so worth it!

Thank you all for your love and support! It means the world to me! If you can’t find my book in your bookstore, after you yell at the manager and tell him to order it, try Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/28z497o.

A big shout-out to the fans who are cooking their way through Skinny Italian while watching the show, and the women who make a cookie cake with one of my quotes on it every week. The “puffy chucky” cookie was hilarious!

Finally, no, my house is not for sale or under foreclosure. My daughter is not getting kicked out of Catholic school because I made a sex tape. And I didn’t have a tummy tuck or marry a gay man. Oh wait, I think I’m getting my Housewives gossip confused… Love love love you all!

Tanti Baci,
Teresa

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