Here we are at the Reunion. I know you would all like the answers to your questions and I hope this will put some to rest. Most about me will have to wait until Thursday though. I know, they really wanna drag this out for you huh?
I love all of you and I am thrilled I have had your devoted support and kindness. I am so happy for this experience and through it all I have grown and learned so much! I am grateful to my children for their love and support and for their patience with others even though it is most difficult at times to tell them to not react they simply want to because of the others on the show. It seems the ladies still have much to work out and I don’t think they will ever clearly see how awful their behavior is towards me is unless they stop patting one another on the back and start being honest with each other. They don’t seem to have any trouble behing honest with me and they don’t seem to hold back in the least when in comes to me my feelings, my children’s feeling etc, however, they sit and jump around my direct questions and answer for one another as if they all of sudden need a family meeting as to how to agree to answer my question. I think they all sat around the night before and said, "I know what we’ll do, we will just let Caroline answer that way none of us will say the wrong thing." I am not positive however, it would seem that way.
I did on numerous occasions ask Jacqueline to gather her family to talk about the book and my past on and off camera all season long. According to Jacqueline, the simply declined, leaving me no choice but to handle it the way I did.
I told Jacqueline I was simply putting the book on the table to open the conversation. Period. I will not repeat my defense in doing so. I deserved to clarify and still don’t think I was able to. Perhaps one day they will listen.
It is not fair to constantly look for someone to blame for your own problems. If everyone continues to use me and place the blame on me, then how will any of you learn from your mistakes and grow?
I am not here to attack. I am not here to be mean. I am not here to throw stones. I am not here to judge. I am also not here to be abused by any of you any longer. I feel awful that Jacqueline had to start saying horrible things about me for she herself does not understand. You have not known me long at all and what I thought at the time was an instant connection. I now feel I was completely wrong. I wanted desperately to fit in with new friends and mainly I wanted to be in your life. I thought you felt the same about me. It saddens me that I was so wrong about you. I will say this though. I genuinely wish you all good in life and wish you health, wealth, and happiness. I want you to one day look back at our time and remember that I was the one there for you to listen to you every day when no one else could tolerate it any longer. I was also the one who drove you to all of your doctor appointments when no one else would. I took you everywhere you needed to go - even to buy things for CJ’s birthday. I even took the time to connect you with party event planners I’ve know for twenty years. Even though you did not use them in the end they listened to you and worked with you because I asked them to. I also took you to my OBGYN of 16 years to help you with your pregnancy issues, and gave you contact numbers so that you could speak with him at any time you felt concern. I also took you to check your blood work weekly or every three days so that you could stay on top of your pregnancy. I did way too much to list and I do not want credit, however I want to remind you that anytime you needed me, day or night, I was the one there for you. You will remember one day.
Yay Andy! Thank you for speaking up and not allowing them to continue to make excuses for bad judgment and gay slurs. I would like to say that if most people heard what I had to off camera they would most likely have been even more offended. I just think no one should ever speak without thinking first.
Caroline...before I like you I don’t? Isn’t that what you say?
Well dear, you are crystal clear.
Your family speaks of so much pain that is caused. Well what makes your family's pain any more important or real than my family's pain. You have caused my children and I so much pain and yet you address me like it is all about you and your family. Why? Just because your family is larger doesn’t mean your pain is larger or more real than mine. Double standard again. I will see you all on Thursday.
I am in a really positive light now in love and life. I have a beautiful life my children bring me all the love and joy and happiness I have ever wanted. I am truly blessed.
I am also blessed to have found and renewed friendships with many of my dearest friends in life. Thanks to all of you and you know who you are. Thank you to all of my new friends and supporters. I love you all dearly.
Enjoy the Climb!!