Blessed

Jacqueline shares details about her struggle to conceive.

Here we go with blog #2! I will try to keep this shorter than the last one. The deal with my beautiful daughter is this...she is a teenager! ENOUGH said. I'm dealing with it. After I have this baby, I would LOVE a glass of wine! Just ONE! It takes the edge off. Ashley's grades are slipping and it's crunch time. She needs to pass her finals to be able to go on to the next grade. Yes, it's THAT bad. Will Ashley pull it together in time or will she learn a hard lesson? You will see what happens..

As far as my son goes, I know that party seemed obnoxiously over the top, but that was the FIRST birthday party he ever had in his whole life with friends besides simple family parties. I had explained to my son that all of his parties wouldn't be like that and he understands and accepts that very well. We wanted it to be really special because we were also celebrating the first year that he came out of his shy little shell and I wanted him to have a great time with his friends who had always graciously invited him to all of their parties throughout the years. It was also the end of a school year. I have to thank the Brownstone for working with our budget and generously providing all of their delicious food at C.J.'s party for a good price and allowing us to use their resources for better deals on the venders we used as well. I went through Horizon for all of our entertainment (www.horizongiggles.com). The cupcakes everyone seemed to love and are asking me about were designed and voluntarily made by my neighbor and friend, Roseann. Thank you once again! It is such a great joy and blessing to be able to be a stay-at-home Mom with C.J. We spend a LOT of quality time together. It means so much to me AND my son. Sometimes I just wish I had that opportunity and privilege to stay home with Ashley when she was little. Her Dad and I divorced when Ashley was only 17 months old. I had so much guilt working all of the time that I made the mistake of overcompensating and giving her too many "things." I spoiled her. My challenge now is undoing that. It's very hard to do that while living in the town that we live in, with the lifestyle in which we live.

It was REALLY difficult watching the scene where I am talking about my miscarriages as hormonal as I am right now. Although I know there is a very happy ending to our story because here I am sitting here, more than 8 months pregnant, waiting to give birth to our new son the second week of June, it still saddened me to relive that again. I thought I was broken. Can you believe that ALL it took to maintain this pregnancy was a baby aspirin every day leading up to conceiving until 32 weeks after and a progesterone insert for the first 3 months? Crazy! I was lucky enough not to have to go through invitro or anything else that we were willing and about to do. We are more than thrilled! I can't wait! Don't ever give up on having a baby if you know there is a soul up there waiting for you to give it life. Be patient. It will most likely happen eventually. Never give up on something you really want. We wanted to give up so many times. We started trying when my son was about 6 months old. Look at us now, after 5 losses, our little miracle is almost here. If it happened for us, it can happen for anyone.

The only thing I can say about the rest of the show is that I think it is funny, funny, funny, with a lot of drama, drama, drama! What a GREAT entertaining mix! The kids in this show are HILARIOUS! It looks as though next week is really starting to heat up. Sounds like rumors start flying. If this keeps up... so might tables! Put a raw piece of meat in a Jersey girl's mouth and she's going to shake it until it's dead! Watch what happens...

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