Ho-Bag of the Week

What will get you killed in Housewife land? Sending flowers.

 

OK, how has the term ho-bag crawled across every Housewives franchise this spring? Seriously, I think Andy Cohen needs to add a "ho-bag of the week" award for the housewife that goes the craziest each week. Maybe we should have runners-up too?

So first Jacqueline leads the witness a bit when asking her little boy whether he likes to see her fight with Ashley. Mommy wants you to answer no, so answer no. Of course she's also correct – fighting in front of the little guy is something he’ll remember.

Now it's onto Danielle's roses from Jacqueline. She calls to thank her, then calls again to berate her. Oh wait, the flowers were for CHRISTINE. I hope she got to see them. One good thing, when Danielle decided to make the second call she sent Jillian out of the room. Good girl. During call number two, did anyone else notice the dog attacking the furry purple bone in the background? Seemed appropriate to the voicemail. Editors, I love you. "She's walking in a fashion show, and nothing’s going to take me down." Oh wait, the modeling job is for CHRISTINE.

Now it’s time for tea and ho-bags! Dina, if you don’t want to see Teresa’s chuckie, stay away from red raspberry leaf tea. Otherwise you’re good to go.

Caroline will only enter Jacqueline's house if there is coffee. I completely understand this. I don’t talk to my husband or children before I have coffee. During the discussion about the Danielle drama AGAIN, she brings up a good point. If Danielle didn’t celebrate Nicholas' birth and Jacqueline didn't make a big deal out of that, why the drama regarding Jacqueline missing the lunch and sending flowers? Oh, wait. Sending flowers will get you killed in housewife land; we learned that on our show. It's almost as bad as being a ho-bag.

 

Christine is so beautiful, and I loved seeing the difference between her being a little girl at home with mom and no makeup, to the grown up feline goddess all made up at Rebecca Minkoff. A mom with a daughter like that HAS to be proud. Later on in the episode Danielle said that if she'd had the opportunities her kids have maybe her life would have gone differently, and that was the most real and unaffected I've ever seen her. I hope the two of them balance out the Mama Rose thing that's happening now, because there's potential for Danielle to rise far, far above the stuff she went through to help her daughters spread their wings and fly.

Gia! Shopping! Milania! Throwing! Gabriella! Running! It's a brave woman who takes an excited trio of girls shopping, nine months pregnant so she can't run after them, without a stun gun or at least a helper. It's like shopping with François, Johan, Simon and Ginger all at the same time. Oy; I felt for her.

What does an energist do? Listen? Burn sage? Cleanse the house? Whatever works, as long as she’s not being a ho-bag... .

Loved watching Gia and the little girls put on a show for Caroline and the family. Didn't love the crying in the car. Going to play devil's advocate here for a second; I get that he was teasing. That happens in Brooklyn too, Australians and Italians aren't that different in that regard. BUT, I think that maybe because tensions were so high, Joe wanted to tease Gia to relax her, and it didn't work. She freaked out. Sometimes 8 year olds just can't process that much. Didn't look to me like anyone had bad intentions, and it was obvious at the end of the fashion show that both Mom and Dad were bursting with pride.

Lastly, I felt for Christine when she got sick. It has to be hard to walk in your first fashion show, have it be filmed for a reality show, not eat, then stand so still your knees lock up and you get dizzy. Ouch. Regardless, she looked beautiful.

'Til next week! Wait, I really just need to say "ho-bag" one more time. OK, now I’m done.

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