Exit Off Crazy Turnpike

Hello again! 17 down, 1 to go! I have to admit that I’m not quite sure how to address tonight’s episode. I feel like we’ve been down this ugly road before and quite frankly, I’m ready to take the first exit off the crazy turnpike. There’s no denying that this reunion was literally the modern day version of the OK Corral. We filmed for ten hours. TEN HOURS. It was one of the most frustrating and mentally exhausting things I’ve ever done. You need to understand the process. First, we live and experience what you see week to week in real time. Months go by, and we relive those moments as we watch each episode along with the viewing audience. In that time, we blog about it, talk about it in the different media venues, and answer all of your questions. When we meet to film the reunion, we’re pretty worn out emotionally. It’s liked the movie Groundhog Day. You wake up every day and you feel like you’re trapped in a time warp! Naturally, all of the emotions you’ve experienced in the past year or so come back to you full force during the reunion taping. It’s the moment of "truth." It’s the last time you’ll have to address any issues you may have with a castmate, or explain comments or behavior on your part too. Sooo, here we go… let's talk about tonight’s episode. First things first. I expected yelling, screaming, and tears. I NEVER expected Andy to get tossed like a rag doll. I was in complete shock when that happened. Actually, I had to compose myself because I wanted to cry. Seriously, I did. When Teresa jumped off the couch and approached Danielle it was literally within the first ten minutes of filming. The only thing going through my mind at that moment, beyond the obvious WTF is going on, was that I couldn’t sit through hours and hours of this. If this is happening now, what’s it going to be like when we get to the real issues? Thank God it never got to that level again, it was an ugly moment. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Now, let’s talk about me. First I need to explain a comment I made before you all have a stroke. When I told Andy that I didn’t find anything wrong with stripping and prostitution I simply meant this: A stripper puts herself (or himself) on stage and takes off their own clothes, no one else’s. A prostitute sells his or her own body, no one else’s. When someone goes to a strip club, or visits a prostitute, they do it voluntarily. It’s an individual's choice.

I’m not going to relive all the drama of the season tonight. I’ve already addressed it in previous blogs. I’ve received thousands of comments regarding tonight’s episode with everything from "I love you," to "You’re a bully." I get it; it’s totally expected and normal to have a mixed bag of emotions. Guess what? It is what it is. There was absolutely no way in the world I was going to sit quietly and listen to the lies and accusations that were being tossed around. My reactions were genuine and heartfelt. I wasn’t playing to the cameras, and I wasn’t looking for anyone’s sympathy. Those ten hours were my last chance to say what I had to say. It was the last time we were all going to be together and there were some issues that needed to be addressed. I take full responsibility for what I said, and how I presented myself. Trust me, I had a range of emotions as I watched from happy to sad, proud to embarrassed. That makes me just like the rest of you … HUMAN. Next week is our last episode. I have my blinker on, looking forward to exiting the “crazy turnpike” and finding the “sunshine and lollipop highway”….. wish me luck. Again, I want to thank each and every one of you for watching week after week. You’re the best. Xoxo C. P.S. Kudos to my Lauren! She did my makeup as well as Jacqueline’s. Great job LaLa…. You made you’re momma beautiful. Xoxo P.P.S. I have a new advice column and website! Check it out! (please) www.carolinemanzo.com and www.glo.com (Caroline Rules).