Let me first start by explaining something to those of you that my be offended by my love of Buddha's and sage. When people ask me what my religion is my answer is always, "I am a Catholic who practices the religion of being a good person." Buddhism makes a lot of sense to me; it is a very kind practice. Now with that said, I talk to God all day long too, I pray while I'm driving, whenever. I am not one who feels they need to be in the confines of a church to pray. I also have a huge affinity for the Blessed Mother, she is actually where the ladybug that is so dear to me got its name. If you check out my crib tour on Bravotv.com you will see I have a little shrine to her over my fireplace in my living room. The blessed mother to me represents everything a woman should be, Strong, beautiful and gracious. I try my best to live by her influence. You will notice that I usually wear a rosary to remind myself no matter what comes my way I have the strength as she did to endure with grace. (I doesn't always go that way, but I least I try.)
Now as far as Zen Jen is concerned. Jen is a friend of mine that makes jewelry based on the energy and meaning of gem stones. I have been a client of hers for years and after spending time with her we realized that we both are extremely sensitive to energy. Energy of people, objects, animals, trees...you name it. Don't let me even get started telling you stories of the crazy things that I have done throughout the years based on energy. Jen is NOT a psychic, or a freak, she is a normal person who makes very pretty jewelry. I called her an Energist for lack of a better word.(Hell, I guess that means I'm an Energist too!)
I ASKED Jen to be on the show, we had a plan of saving the world one bracelet at a time. LOL. So Danielle, there goes your theory of people using me to get on TV. And please stop saying "I'm just sayin'" it's grating on EVERYBODY'S nerves. Although I honestly don't think I will be reading her blogs anymore, they make absolutely no sense and only show more of her Crazy to the world. (God I hope her book had a good ghost writer or she's in BIG trouble.)
Anyway, as I said before if a gem, a Rosary, burnt sage anything reminds you to focus on something positive well then guess what, BRING IT ON. One of my favorite things to do with this practice that doesn't cost a dime is the use of affirmations. I have little postings from this mini calendar I had all over, on my makeup mirror etc. that say things like, "If you are not happy here and now, you never will be" That paper doesn't make me BE HAPPY, come on now, I'm not that crazy, but it just reminds me to count my blessings and be grateful for what I have that's all. So as I get ready for my day, that paper helps me focus on all that's good. Get it? Again, the more you think good, the more good comes your way...
By the way, I have been on this spiritual journey for years, not just since this season was taping, (we are all on one, some people just may not realize it.) I've done it all: Sweat Lodges, retreats, EVERYTHING. I just had a major set back during filing last year, the drama took me to a place I don't want to go again, but I don't regret it, it helped me grow and I am a better person from it. Everything happens for a reason, and everyone that comes into our lives is there to teach us something ... even a prostitution whore.
A lot of you also think I look sad this season, torn, maybe, but sad? NO. I am actually the happiest I have EVER been. I just am extremely laid back (most of the time) and NO I do not take ANY meds. If you notice my brother Chris, Jacqueline's husband has a very similar quality. Not sure what he takes though. KIDDING!
"I'm tired of ALL your crazy"
I know it seemed like I was preparing to meet with Danielle based solely on the fact that Jen suggested it. They cut out a lot of that conversation with Caroline and Jacqueline out, a lot of funny parts too. I called Caroline "Joe (my father) with tits" when she started yelling at me...LOL. I call her that all the time, she looks and yells just like my dad but she has red hair and bubbies ... too funny. Zen Jen AS A FRIEND,(not a psychic) suggested I meet with Danielle face to face and I felt that it was the right thing to do too, this issue wasn't going away and it was time to put an end to the madness. She knew from me venting to her how much this situation was starting to stress me out.
Through the magic of TV it looks like this conversation with the girls took place long after the event at Caroline's house where Kim and the girls were going at it about Danielle. I was really upset after that night because at this point as you all know, I was trying my best to believe in Danielle and any negative talk about her in front of me made me uncomfortable. I knew that Kim would go back and tell Danielle that "WE" were talking about her. As you see that happens a lot, I didn't say a word that night BUT because I was there, I get sucked into the bullshit. (Remember "the book" reveal at the salon? Yes, I was there, but I wasn't the one who showed the book and that's how this whole nonsense started.) Hence, the reason behind me saying "I'm tired of all your craziness." I was DONE talking about Danielle and DONE being around anyone who did. But guess what? It's true, we can't escape her. Everywhere we go there is someone who has had some kind of experience with her and they feel the need to tell us about it. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING TO SAY THE LEAST.
What people need to realize is that even though we are a close knit group, when one does or says something the others MAY or MAY NOT agree with it. For instance, I love my nephews dearly, but WTF with the Scores scene? We are all separate people with separate thoughts. Just because you may think I'm a freak because I smudge my house, it doesn't mean that all the other girls do and believe in that too. Get it?
Anyway, back to my talk with Danielle. You will soon see that even though this Dorothy thought she needed Oz, in the end I realize that what I needed was within me the whole time. No bracelet, no Rosary, nothing has the power that we all have deep down inside. Not even three clicks of my Louboutins, but you will have to tune in to see how that goes.
"Ohhh, I feel like I'm gonna poop" - Teresa Giudice (Gotta love her!)
So let's talk about my beautiful goddaughter. How gorgeous is that baby? I cried my ass off watching that scene again. I stayed for a while, I didn't want to put Audriana down. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Teresa is like a sister to me, and being her daughter's godmother is an extra special honor because I feel like it officially made us "family." I hope to live up to every meaning of the word godmother to that baby, and I promise, I won't push any of my crazy, sage-burnin' ways on her ... only if she wants it. AND just wait 'til you see her Christening, NO words for that shindig...
On that note I am going to wrap this up with a shout out to, you guessed it, Project Ladybug! I want to thank everyone for their support that has made our Lucky Locks red extension campaign nationwide and also our annual girls night out coming up has hit a record 1200 women! It's time to knock some walls down at the Brownstone because I wish we could fit all of you that want to share this night with us. Believe me, I'm working on it. It kills me to turn people away.
Please visit us at www.projectladybug.org to learn how you could support our cause. We are still looking for corporate sponsors and raffles for our big event! Help us help these babies, As Martha says, it's a good thing. See you next week! xoxo
PS - Check out Dinamanzo.com to see and purchase all the beautiful jewelry that I am wearing this season and don't forget to follow me on twitter. "Hello, my name is Dina and I'm a twitterholic." It could be worse right?