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Jacqueline Laurita

An Epiphany

Jacqueline Laurita explains what led her to hug it out with Danielle at the end of the reunion.

Sep 8, 2010

Well folks, we all survived another challenging season together. Holy crap life can get sticky at times, but I have learned to live by the saying "This too shall pass," and it ALWAYS does. This is my last and final blog of the season. I wanted to write about the reunion as a whole and not divide it into two parts. I want everyone to understand that we filmed for 12 hours, but you are only seeing two hours of it. There was a LOT said at the reunion that may have answered some of your questions, but there was also a LOT that got cut out! Not everything got to air in the two hours that you saw. I think it's because a lot of what was going on between everyone wasn't aired during our season, a lot happened behind the scenes, and what really needed to be addressed and discussed was what the viewers had actually seen. Try and understand that please.

Not going to lie, my intention was to go into the reunion swinging. I was ready to go to battle and win. I wanted to call Danielle out on every lie that I have caught her in. I wanted to hurt and embarrass her with all the truths that I had learned about her and expose her with all of my collected facts. I wanted her to feel the pain that she had inflicted on me and onto others with the lies she had told and for her to answer to the danger I felt she had put all of us into on many different occasions, in many different forms and levels. My dislike for her had grown so much since the end of filming. I had become bitter and angry toward her. I figured that this was my last chance to put it all out there and make it all known. I came fully prepared and loaded.

A lot of things were brought up that you did not get to see. It had been a long day, and I was getting worn out from spewing my venom. We took a long break after one of the few times Danielle had stormed off the set. What had we accomplished by this point? Nothing! Nada! It turned into a big "he said, she said" game, and it wasn't getting us anywhere! Danielle was not admitting to ANYthing! Even with the proof in front of her! If you're going to lie, lie to the end, I guess? I was feeling increasingly  frustrated! The game was getting old real quick.

During the break, we all went back to our corners. I wanted to come back in the game mimicking her just to piss her off. I had enough by that point! I found myself pacing back and forth and swearing. Then I got to thinking some more while I was drinking a Bellini to calm my nerves. I called my husband to vent. I had some time to put out the fire under my ass and reflect on this past year. That's when I had an epiphany!

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Thats all great but she also promised you not to ever do all thoso things and she also promised Teresa and guess what..shes doing it!! So the lies continue and you got played....so sad.

Jacqueline..You are a sweetheart ! Loved watching you and the girls this season..We will miss Monday nights in our house without you guys ! EVen my husband got into it this season :)

I have to say that Danielle's "apology" to you was just down right "creepy!" It was fake and it was phony, I did not buy it for a second. I do understand your need to be free of the situation involving her. Beware, I don't think she is finished with you guys for one second. Did you notice the smirk on her face as she was saying the things she did? There was no sincereity in ANYTHING that was said by her. I love that she wants other people to be accountable for their actions and even when she has been confronted with what she has done, she finds ways to avoid the subject all together. Her apologies for things at the end were complete BS. I would not be shocked at all that now, she considers you her "friend" again and try to re-enter your life. Good luck with her, I believe you are going to need it.

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Jacqueline... You are a sweetheart. You and Caroline are my favorites.. God Bless you and your family!! You seem so down-to-earth and funny.. Stay the course with Ashley!!! Love ya!

In the end..the truth is the truth and moving ahead and ending it was the right thing for you and your family!! A huge gift to your self and your family...move on be happy and enjoy your beautiful family and friendships!!

YAY, Jacqueline! This is the best blog EVER. Hopefully, all of us will be able to learn from your epiphany. I cried as I listened to you expressing your decision to move away from the person you had become and to return to the woman who wants peace for herself and others. Your remarks completely changed the course of the conversation and brought healing (Caroline, are you listening?). I'm so proud of you, Jacqueline! See you next season! XOXO

Good for you! Forgiving and taking the high road is hard. It's called the high road for a reason. It's easy to get caught up in the mud slinging because a natural defense is to fight back. I was happy to see you two come to a mutual agreement and apologize. I don't think you are a bad person for getting angry, we have all been there. People who hate on you and say otherwise do not matter. You have an amazing family and I enjoy the show the most when I get to see that glimpse into your life. And as far as past behavior remember, "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda". You can't change it now so don't dwell on it. I look forward to next season!

LOVE U Jaq!

Just a quick note to say I appreciate you opening up your family life & all those in it under what we call "reality tv filming". I think you are very brave to let ur entire family be watched. I think we who watch the show should take alook at ur own lives & think not all would seem perfect. I am sure there are moments we all regret & having to view them over & over on film must be something exrtaordinary.

You have a beautiful family & I enjoy watching. I also got my mom who is 57 to watch & we text during the show. I find it something we can laugh at & bond over & never take too seriously. I wish they would air more of your beautiful homes or fun family times together. I am very happy Miss Negative(ds) has left the show, as i felt her negativity & couldnt even bare to watch her & flipped the chan everytime a segment of her aired! Good Luck next season & love & health to your family, THANKS AGAIN ..... Gretchen from Exit 98 GSPKWY!~ hahah

I'm glad you were able to see yourself through your darker moments during this past season, for explaining yourself and owning up to your sometimes bad behavior. I think I an safely say that us viewers were a bit shocked at how you immediately started in on Danielle the moment the cameras were turned on. It was not a side of you that we were regularly exposed to during the season and certainly not behavior that we ever thought YOU would display. I'm glad that you were able to resolve your feelings before the taping was over and I'm sure you felt much better about yourself and proud for being adult about it. I hope you have truly let things go with Danielle and that you can move on having learned a lot about yourself and the person who you prefer to be. Best of luck to you. :)

It was so nice meeting you at the opening of My Big Gay Italian Wedding back in May and I can't wait to see YOU in it on Oct 23rd! It will be the 18th time I have seen the show since 2003! I will be in Seat B1. BREAK A LEG!!( I mean that figuratively not literally! LoL Much Love! Steve BTW you were great all season on RHONJ!

Wonderful blog. I commend you on taking the high road!! It must have been difficult to do with all that you and your family have been through. Look forward to watching you next year!!

Finally get to see the REAL J......GOOD AND FAIR..:):) Good luck to YOU AND ALL.......WILL watch ya next season...:)

Love you and your wonderful family. You should be so proud.

So glad you were able to come to the conclusion that hate is poison and it really only hurts YOU. The best thing you can do for yourself and your precious family is to put all the ugliness behind you and move forward into a new day. You are wonderful Jacqueline. You are a great mom, a great wife and a loving sister and friend. Nothing to criticize there. It's wonderful to be able to relate to the human side of people. I appreciate how much you have shared in terms of honesty about how you feel, mistakes you made and the things you struggle with.

God Bless Sweetie!!!

I don't know who I love more...you or Caroline!!

You are a brave and wise woman!

you easy forget what she dan, you should not hug her back keep it distants

Good for you! So glad to see someone come to their senses over this drama. I hope everyone can move on now. I would love for Ashlry to join you in leaving the drama BEHIND you. Sadly, her recents tweets seem to indicate she has not put this behind her. Her actions are only prolonging an already bad situation.

good for you--try to help out your friend teresea--she could use some of your enlightenment

go Caroline love her you want that all people like you...

Good for you J! I can't imagine how you must have felt when she started trying to bring your daughter down. We as mothers are very protective over our cubs and we will fight tooth and nail for them! It takes a strong person to admit wrongdoing and you have a lot of class. Don't let anyone bring you down! God Bless you!

Jac...

Never in all my viewing of watching any reality show have I seen such sincerity, forgiveness and absolute no pride . I say BRAVO to you, you are an inspiration to all women who have to much pride to be honest!

Thank you L.Petson God bless you

You seem like such a nice person! I'm glad you are all moving on from the negativity! Can't wait for next season! :)

Finally! What took you so long to grow up? Don't you think this whole thing with your daughter and Danielle would have ended better, if your daughter had just apologized to Danielle for physically assaulting her?!

Jacqueline...YOU R BACK!!!! how wonderful you finally realized that by doing this and taking the high road you win. Us your true fans who have followed you every day on every publication or tv show, knows who you are by now...this wonderful, kind, compassionate person. We all know what you are dealing with...no surprises anymore! so why dragg her through anymore torture for us to see...at the end it seems cruel. I understand Teresa, in many ways I am the same, and by reacting so crazy when we are mad we don't win anything. We look bad and the guilty party looks like a victim. Love you! and can't wait to see you again next season. Your no. 1 fan!! u know who this is...lol

Its always a challenge to step outside of the situation and re-evaluate it from a neutral position. You were able to do that and recognize your goals in this. Because of your ability to re-think the situation, you were able to achieve your goal. All I can say is Better Late Than Never! Congratulations. Well done!

I just wanted to say that I love you & your family, and you have my support. No one can be perfect all the time, and when faced with challenges, that's when you truly show who you are. I think you showed how strong you are as a person this season, and I know it took alot to forgive danielle. Kudos to you!

Good for you Jac! The madness needed to end. Peace be with you all.

love you and Caroline, Teresa, and Dina... do you have a Facebook page would love to know..

I'm impressed. This was exactly what I thought would have been the best for all of you the whole season and I'm impressed that you figured it out. Your parents were right! :) Don't you just hate that sometimes? LOL

As for your friend Teresa, I do sympathize with her, but she does have an anger problem and she really needs to learn to control herself. Please be careful around her.

Good luck to you. If you mean everything you said in this blog then you really did grow and that's great.

I hope Ashley realizes how lucky she is to have you guys. I have two step daughters and both of them were (youngest still) discipline problems. I so sympathize with that aspect of raising kids. Sometimes you just cannot make them understand.

Good luck again!

I am glad that you have let go of the bitterness and anger, it will make you physically ill. We need to always remember that our children do not always listen to what we tell them, they watch what we do and learn from that. When Ashley is filled with bitterness and anger, tell her about your "epiphany" that you had. I have a feeling it was really the conversation with your husband that woke you up, you embarrassed me, I'm sure it embarrassed him as well. You have a lovely family that deserves respect and for you to keep your venom to yourself. What goes around comes around. Best of luck to you in the future and with your journey.

Jacqueline,

I am reading your post in admiration because although throughout the season you may have come off as behaving immature/spiteful at time and I'm sure with plenty of reason, you had a wonderful epiphany. Why take away from the beauty and blessings in your life by giving negativity and negative people so much power? At the end of the day it's their insecurities and poor life choices that cause them to be that way and why feed into it? That takes away the beauty in your life and you. It's wonderful that you were able to take a step back and truly take a retrospective approach to all that transpired and realize that it no longer mattered who was right or wrong it just had to end. In the end that's the best message that we can give our children. We can't always control what happens but we can control how we choose to react to it and how much power we're going to give it. I can appreciate how difficult it was to put an end to the nonsense and thank you for showing it to us because not everyone knows how to take a step back and take responsibility for their part in negative situations. Good Luck to you and your beautiful family!

Jacqueline. I was sucked into watching this show by my wife. At the beginning I told her that I had never seen anything so disgusting in my life and that if I had any children, the show was the kind of television they would not be allowed to watch. After a while and just because it was so trashy and most of you are Italian, I was hooked. I am not very proud by the way. You completely did the opposite for Bravo yesterday. What you did was beyond amazing. If it is real that you are forgiving that woman, you are one hell of a human being. By the way and think she needs help. But you are not what others have in their hearts but what you have in your own. A person who lives with hate it is not a happy person. In order for you to be happy you have to stop hating others. I am sorry but I am Italian and most of us are very resentful people and Caroline is not fooling me for a minute, she is not a happy human being. Sorry for my terrible English, like I said I am Italian. By the way, Theresa hardly speaks Italian. She can defend herself but I can’t say she is fluent. I only have a wish for you. Once again, if you are for real I hope it comes back to you and your kids get the regards and Ashley finally get it together. Ciao cara bambina. Buona fortuna

I hope it's all been worth it; what a learning experience for you! I was getting stressed out just watching this season............glad to see it end! Just want to say: thanks for the memories!

I understand both sides of what you are expressing - the negative which gives momentary satisfaction and the positive which brings long term peace. I could tell by the expression on your face when Danielle was clinging to you that a hug was not necessarily your original choice. But, at least you have established a truce. Let's hope D sticks to her end of the agreement. I've come to believe generally that if D's lips are moving, she's lying. Truthfully, the show had gone downhill lately, what with all the negative drama outweighing the fun family interactions. Hopefully, with D removed from the picture, next season will be more on an overall up note.

Jacqueline, I like you a lot. Thanks for making this season fun!

I cried reading this blog. Jacqueline, you are an awesome woman with a beautiful heart and great spirit. Please ignore the negative people who do not understand what it means to forgive; life is too short to live in hate. Blessings to you and your beautiful family on your drama free journey!:o)

I understood your position from the beginning, kudos to you for being able to, in my opinion, end the war. Unfortunately, I also agree with Caroline and think her apology was for the camera. I would still be wary of this woman. Enjoy the time off and waiting to see you in season three.

Good for you Jacqueline. As you said, no one is perfect and does all the right things, all the time. I guess you know that includes Danielle. Like I've said to people in my "circle of friends", to forgive doesn't mean you have to be in their company. It's closure and a peace of mind thing. Blessings to you and yours.

First off, I would like to say that I am very proud of you. You seem to of had the most mature out look in the situation. I'm glad that you decided to put an end to all the BS. Danielle will always be Danielle, however, I am glad that you choose to be the bigger person, because after a while of watching the reunion I also saw that the childish games was going nowhere. I just have a few questions. Didn't Caroline want to put an end to all the BS too? So why is it that when you tried putting and end to it she got mad? Is it because SHE wasn't the one to put an end to it?

PS. Thanks for being you, FYI you are my favorite! xoxo

Luv you Jackie! Hope life gets better for you and look forward to seeing you next season!

Jac,

Indifference is always the best revenge! You finished the season with much dignity and class! Love You!!!!

Dear Jacqueline,

Thank God for your epiphany!!! You don't know how happy I was for you that you were able to stop in the middle of the reunion madness and realize how much all this was hurting you and your family. Believe me, I would've reacted the same way towards Danielle if she was always attacking my family the way she attacked yours. But I also know that at some point I would've thought the same as you, "what is the point to all this?" It's time to let Danielle be Danielle, she's always going to lie and manipulate and no human being could change that and; if someone tries, they're just going to drive themselves crazy! Only a higher power can help that woman and I hope she does get that help.

Enough about that. Like I said, I'm very happy for you and your family. I think you're a great person and I hope to someday have a loving relationship like yours and Chris'. You guys seem to very much in love and have a wonderful family and that is all that matters. I wish you the best! See you next season.

You're still talking about Daniel. Get a life! Over and done with.

You said it all, and it makes me think about grudges I like to hold. I need to step back and just go on with the positive. I think you and your family are wonderful..Best of luck to you and yours.

You look wonderful and Lauren did an outstanding job on your makeup

You are amazing!! Don't let anyone tell you other wise! Many blessings to you and your family!!

Jacquline, thank you for finally walking away from all of this. Honestly, I really starting to dislike you because you were acting like Danielle. You showed your fiesty side this season and that was great. However, please continue to show the viewers who you really are. Thanks for a great season!