Show Some Respect

OK, so sorry my blog is so late! I wasn't quite sure what to write because I'm TRYING not to say a lot in this blog because I'm saving my energy for the next few blogs to come.

I want to start by addressing something that is really important to me first. I have been getting a lot of insults from a few haters. I've heard I'm a brat, spoiled, disrespectful, etc. I've even gotten from two or three people that I should kill myself! Can you believe some people? How sad their own lives must be. Anyway, the one main insult that I keep getting from people is that I'm fat. I get that insult at least five times a day. I like food, a lot ... A LOT. I am 5'9" and 134 pounds (yes, I just weighed myself!) I go back and forth all the time between a size 4 and a size 6. If that makes me fat, then I don't want to be what people call "skinny" these days. I am happy with how I look right now, I have been working out a lot more because I want to tone up, but as far as losing weight, I'm not interested. If certain people have a problem with it, TOUGH! This again brings me back to when I used to get bullied in school. Imagine, if I'm getting bullied for being fat, think of girls who are bigger than me getting picked on in school? People can be so mean. (If you are reading my blog and you are/have being/been bullied in any way shape or form I encourage you to PLEASE check out: http://www.twloha.com/index.php.) The Mission Statement on their website reads:

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

I want to raise awareness of bullying and show people who are suffering that it's never to late to get help, and that their life DOES matter. I think the main problem in life is that people (including me sometimes) forget that we were created to love and be loved.

ANYWAY, about the show, this might be a little out of order because I haven't seen the episode since Monday, so I'm writing my blog from memory.

Hmmm, I guess I'll start with my apology to my parents. Like I said before, I ALWAYS apologize to my parents after an argument. I love them more than anything, and they know that. When my mom started to cry and said she wasn’t my enemy, I felt terrible. I never thought she was my enemy. I feel like she's my sister. That's where the problem is. If I thought she was my enemy I am sure things would be A LOT worse. I get that my Dad expects me to start respecting them now, not some day. I try to respect them, most of the time, but I feel I should be respected too. I am almost 20, and it's not fair if they treat me a certain way and then expect me to respect them, regardless if they are my parents. I don't know, maybe it's just me being an a**hole. Maybe it's one of those things when I'll realize I was wrong at some point down the road. Until then, I think you have to give respect to get respect. That respect should be mutual, not one-sided. Does anyone out there get what I'm saying? I don't know. If it means anything, things have been going well between me and my parents.

Isn't Lauren an amazing makeup artist? I mean, I know you couldn't really tell from that short clip, especially because she was doing avant garde makeup. I hope they show more of Lauren showing off her talent this season - she has definitely found her calling. It really is her passion, she takes her work so seriously, but has fun doing it at the same time. When I say she takes her work seriously, I mean REALLY seriously. One time I wanted to borrow bronzer and I got yelled at for almost touching her kit! HAHA! My friend had to get it out of her kit for me because she was a fellow makeup artist and knew what she was doing I guess? I don't know. I love Lauren though and I am sooo proud of her.

Let's talk about how Albie's scene made me cry. I am convinced that if you didn't get teary-eyed during that scene, or at the very least feel SOMETHING, you have no heart. What upset me about this scene was that I know what a good person my cousin Albie is. When I heard him say he felt like he was "worthless" it blew my mind. I never thought I would hear him say something like that. He has always been such a hard-working guy with a good head on his shoulders. He has always been there for me when I needed him, so it broke my heart seeing him so upset, and knowing there was nothing I could do to help. I'm am proud of Al for always going after what he wants, and continuing to do so. I hope he looks at this as just a bump in the road on the way to success.

OK, well since I talked about Lauren and Albie I'll feel bad if I don't say anything nice about Christopher. So, Christopher, if you are reading this, I think you're awesome! The end. :)

Elvira, who are you? First of all, sorry hun, not everyone who reproduces needs someone to take care of their children. If you need that much help talking care of your kids, maybe you shouldn't have had kids. I don't think it's right when parents hire nannies to raise their children. It's one thing if you're a single parent, but not if you're a workaholic. Everyone should be able to make some time for their kids. Also, not everyone who has a big house needs a cleaning team or butlers or whatever else Elvira was ranting about. Not everyone needs a chef to cook for them, try cooking for yourself! I think it's sexy if a girl can cook a good meal. (And even sexier if a guy can.) Next, let's talk about how Elvira treats her employees. There's no need for her to be that mean. She can get a point across with less shouting. I felt so bad for the two girls that Elvira brought into Teresa's house. They weren't even talking and she yells, "BACK UP I'M TRYING TO THINK." RELAX. I will say this: Elvira throws AMAZING parties. she is very good at what she does.

Hmm, what else happened in this episode? Oh yes, I moved back home. Yes, I am still home. Although I am working and saving up some money to hopefully get my own apartment one day soon, but who knows! I know some people thought I was my parents for too much. I guess some of my requests were a little unreasonable, but if you knew my town, and the kids in my town, you would understand that what I was asking for was pretty fair. I was happy with the agreement we made. It's been working well so far. I am VERY thankful that my parents gave me the option of coming home. When I originally moved out, it was not to be spiteful and not just to be "independent," but because I thought it was best for myself and my mother. I was right for the most part. For those who have seen me and my mother fight, you know it can get pretty ugly. I moved out so that when we fought, I had the option to leave and remove myself from the situation before it got worse. That clearly didn't always work when cameras were around. Oh well, you live and you learn, right? I have and will ALWAYS be the kind of girl that likes to experience her mistakes first hand. Call me stubborn, I don't know, it's how I am, and ironically enough, I think I get that from my mom! (LOVE YOU, MOM!)

I love, love, love Teresa! How funny is she? My friends and I were laughing about her housewarming party. One of my friends said, "When I have a house warming party, I'm just going to have a few people over for tea." Leave it to Teresa to do something FABULOUS and OUTRAGEOUS. The party was so her, and it was a lot of fun. Her house is as beautiful as she is!

Until next week's chaos,
xoxo
Ashley

P.S. Does anyone else miss my Aunt Dina?