Ask Caroline

Caroline Manzo tackles questions on keeping your kids close, getting "me" time, and discipline.

on Jun 28, 2011

 

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Brittni from Ceres, CA says: Caroline - Love the show, I watch it while feeding my one month old. I only have one baby right now, but my husband and I do want more. I love how close your kids are. What actions can we as parents take to make sure our kids are close and always there for each other? Also, how far apart do you think kids should be? My husband is ready for number two already, but I want to wait a couple of years.

Caroline says: Thanks for watching, Brittni, I appreciate it! 

Albert and I were very hands on with our kids. We still are. I think the key to our kids being so close was the fact that we did so much together as a family. For example when the kids were involved in sports growing up, we went to their games together, we made it a point to teach them to support each other rather than staying home and ask questions later. If one of them was struggling in school with a subject we would ask the other two to help with studying, etc. It created a sense of teamwork, again strengthening the bond. We spent a lot of time talking, sharing our daily experiences, and watching them go through every single emotion. They fought, laughed, and cried, but we let them go through it and watched them from the sidelines jumping in only when necessary. It taught them how to forgive and understand the value of communication.

One very important side note, Al and I never compared one child to the other. We treated them as individuals. We celebrated their strengths and worked on improving their weak points with positive reinforcement. Comparing one sibling to the other will only cause hurt and resentment between them, that's a big no-no.

I have no suggestion as to when you should expand your family. That's a decision between you and your husband and no one else. I will however say that it should be mutually agreed upon between the two of you. Having children is a lifetime commitment and you both have to be on the same page. Good luck, Brittni, and give that little baby a hug for me!