Ask Caroline

Caroline Manzo tackles questions on family time, teen troubles, and Greg's relationship status.

on Aug 23, 20110

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Susan from Nashville, TN says: Caroline - My husband is a very busy physician and works at least 80 hours a week. I don't see this changing anytime soon. While I am grateful that he is working (I know how things can change on a dime), I often feel lonely and disconnected. We have one young son and we live 2,000 miles away from both of our families. I want our family to be close, but my husband is hardly home. Any suggestions?

Caroline says: I know the feeling Susan, my husband works long hours as well, but this is something I knew and accepted as part of our relationship from the very beginning. I would imagine that the same holds true for a doctor's wife.

Your husband works in a demanding, high-pressure environment, and he's obligated to be available for his patients. I can understand how his job can be time consuming. 

I'd suggest that you have a conversation with your husband and try to find a balance between his work and home life. It's important that you both are on the same page and see things the same way. Long hours certainly affect a marriage, so try to find a way to make it part of who you are as a couple and parents too.

What's your husband's home attitude like? Does he make an effort to spend time with you and your son? If so then good quality time goes a long way and makes up for minimal quantity time. In other words seize the moment, connect, and communicate in a positive manner. Show affection to one and other; children recognize this and feel the love between mom and dad. Take it further by interacting with your son -- laugh, hug, kiss, and tickle -- physical affection is an affirmation of family unity and love. These are feelings your son will remember and connect to.

When your husband is working, take a minute to call or send a text with a photo attached from you and your son to say hi, show him you're thinking of him. Leave a lipstick kiss on the bathroom mirror for when he comes home late. There are so many little things you can do to stay relevant in each other's thoughts. What may seem like a small gesture goes a long way.

As for yourself, you have to adjust your way of thinking. Your marriage is different than most, you have to put a little more effort into making it work. That's not a bad thing, it's just reality. Adapt to the hours and spend your time together wisely.

Be positive don't dwell on the negative. You both play a very important role in the family dynamic, and you should support each other in those roles. Remember, he may be feeling your absence and feel badly about missing time spent together too. 

I'm sure you're feelings of loneliness are magnified with your families being so far away, and I can understand where you're coming from. Again, it is what it is… find something that interests you -- volunteer at the hospital or your child's school, join a gym, meet girlfriends for lunch/shopping, take classes at your local college, the possibilities are endless. Just DO SOMETHING, don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. That will only get you nowhere fast.

Trust me, Susan, I've been in your shoes. I still am, attitude is everything. If you have a good man and your relationship is solid, you will find a way to make it work. Good luck! xo

135 comments
jjmontiel56
jjmontiel56

Second time Im asking, what are your credentials that you can give people advice that could change thier lives?????  I and a lot of other people would like to know.

sammy001
sammy001

Before I would ask advice from you, I would like to see how you handle yourself in the situation you're in with Teresa. You have misrepresented yourself as being the level headed housewife of New Jersey so far. unless I can see a woman humble herself and take responsibility for her bad behavior without all the silly justifications, I would rather take the advice from my 3yr old grandson. He has been taught better and is much more mature.

Jo
Jo

Caroline, I'd LOVE to know your recipe for a good Italian tomato sauce.

Jill Harrington
Jill Harrington

Carolyn,

Why isn't your husband on the show anymore and why doesn't he do the important family things like go to your brothers wedding with the family..

Beth01
Beth01

Dear Carolyn, I pretty much agree with you but I think Teresa and her husband need to be removed from the show they bring so much negitive to it I only enjoy watching you and jackie and I miss Diana and now Kathy and the two new ones Joe and his wife the one that can sing great. you all really show how people are really real and have alot of class. Thank you for taking the time in reading this and also I enjoy listening to your radio show ! I'm from Fla but when I was little " My father is an ex military man" we lived in CherryHill,NJ but moved a few years after my father retired from the Air Force. Also Tell Jackie just to hang in there and that she has lots of family members that love her!!! and about her daughter I am sure she is going through a phase like most do but she will wake up " I hope" to see the damage she has caused you! Hope to see you all back on the air " except teresa and her gang." "sorry, thats just how I feel about that."

Ali123
Ali123

Hi caroline, I have been following the housewives since season one and I only have one question to you. After watching the season 3 reunion you made it pretty clear on your feelings towards treasa, however during the punta cana episode you were didnt keep it a secret to viewers on how annoying you thought tereasa was, and how you wanted to stay away from it, rolling your eyes and making faces and so forth, when you werent feeling that well, would a "good friend" ever make those gestures towards a fellow friend. Dont you think that was rude on your part and in fact you not being a "good friend?

sol09
sol09

Caroline,

Good to see someone who is older and wiser on the show!.... Makes me as a younger mum luk up to you!..... Thanks Sol

sol09
sol09

Hi Caroline

I jst watched the reunion, I know I'm behind on this..... But I'm surprise you didnt go crazy after that interview wif Teresa........ Teresa has no ears on her....lolz...... but you were great, so were the other ladies Kathy and Melissa. I actually felt sori for all of yous..... you had to repeat yourselves sooooo many times.... to Teresa. Thats how bad it was.... Anyway I think You are coooool!.... God bless Sol

hazeleyez
hazeleyez

i love caroline she always tell it like it is u are a loving person keep it on poeple will alway hate

So funny
So funny

Lacteally liked this one. But in general, here's why I think about you as an expert: Hahahah

jenni burt melbourne australia
jenni burt melbourne australia

Caroline, i love you. i think you are the most real and down to earth housewife you look amazing and you always conduct yourself like a lady i am enjoying watching you love the fact that you have your own radio segment keep up the good work you are class all the way

Bron
Bron

I LOVE YOU...... I am not sure why you waste your time with some of these people..... Keep on loving your family and forget the rest.

rosraia angelino
rosraia angelino

hi caroline i dont know what is happening and behind all this madness i really truly love you and your family we are italian and should love each other no matter what i think this is really sad you and teresa are fighting i really like tersea and love her she reminds of my self i relly hope you and tersea make up dont throw ten years of a good relationship god be with you and your familys love love love rosaria

Deice
Deice

Caroline: I don't think I have ever in my (real) life been more disappointed with anyone as I was with you on the Season 3 Reunion...what happened to you??? You have always come across as caring, logical and rational...but on those 2 shows you reminded me of any other lowly street fighter... You, Melissa and what's her name, should realize that no matter what the truth is, and no matter what the situation is, or who is at fault, it is NEVER pleasant to watch 2 or 3 gang up on 1 person. The points that you three were trying to make, were simply lost in the fact that you were all ganging up on Teresa. Actually, the result was Teresa looking composed and classey, while you and the others looked like an out of control gang of jealous women, with you as the leader of the pack! Get yourself together Caroline and realize that if your sister Dina and your family members are as "Thick as theives" as you say they are, then nothing that Teresa could have said to Dina would have been enough to make her go against you her sister. I believe Teresa on that one...that you somehow stabbed your own sister in the back! And after viewing the Caroline that you showed on the Reunion shows, I believe you are capable of that!

A.
A.

Caroline my 8 year son was diagnosis with Speech and Language Impairment. He's having issues with kids picking on him at school, but I don't want to encourage him to fight, so how can I handle this instead?

susanstaub123
susanstaub123

you re such a fake, caroline. mind your own business!

susanstaub123
susanstaub123

a million dollar question, why mommy manzo always mind everyone else's business? does she have too much time in hand? get a real job, caroline!

Angel V.
Angel V.

Hi, Caroline. I just finished watching the reunion, it felt like you were saying to yourself "WOW! I'm to old for this."lol. It clearly shows to all of the million viewers that You, Melissa, Jaq, and Kathy are the only mature ladies in the show period. On the other hand, Teresa,Teresa, i don't know to call it immature, loose screws, but put it this way, the bus is moving but nobody is behind the wheel. I'm pretty sure and we all agree that, Teresa is classified and diagnose with something mentally, but I don't have her I.E.P. but Child Study Team has it. Teresa needs to stop writing with the anon names, Diane, Crystal Salazar, and lost respect fo.., we know its you. the comments left doesn't make no sense, just like comments on the reunion show period, so Teresa stop playing yourself. Also where in world do you find Caroline being disrespectful, Absolutely No Where. Caroline you have the right to defend yourself, especially with Teresa the Gremlin, You handle it, the right way, you had no other choice but to tell her the truth, and that you wanted to get rid of her in your life, which was completely understandable. Nobody wants to live or be around Drama and especially be friends with a fake character. The truth hurts,Teresa couldn't handle it at all. Teresa should of broke down and teared every wrong thing she's done and admit her mistakes, but never happened. Caroline don't worry about your relationship with your sister Deena everything is going to get fixed. It completely shows me and to others, problems will be problems even if you are rich or poor, we all bleed and shed tears. Caroline love you as fan and God Bless to you and your family.

borninJersey
borninJersey

Dear Caroline: I watched the Reunion show last night, and I don't know if I could have remained as calm and controlled as you appeared (although I'm sure you were boiling inside). I think viewers need to know that Teresa is NOT representative of NJ women; I do think she's unstable (to say the least!), and is quite selfish and vindictive. A toxic person. I think you are doing the right thing in totally walking away from her at this point. She's no friend. The show is now beyond entertainment. I could see the pain in your eyes, and you don't deserve that. God bless you and your family

Team Manzo/Laurita
Team Manzo/Laurita

Caroline I hope that you continue to dispense your advise. Your words are wise and true. Congratulations on your family they are the reason I continue to watch the show.

lost respect for caroline
lost respect for caroline

I was a fan but the way you treated teresa at the reunion was dis-respectfull in everyway, who in the right mind brings up past comments people have made out of rage, you were supposedly teresa's family by choice and you just let her fall while everyone was bashing her left right and centre yet if teresa said anything about what you, melissa or kathy said you would roll your eyes or looked stunned and try brush it off like she wasnt even worth a response! seriously your a role model and your turning down a very dark path, i have watched you change from a nice, caring, passonate lady to danielle stubbs! thats how you look, and saying that you were trying to get rid of teresa for two years just proves you were never a good loyal friend to begin with, thanks for showing me how someone can be so low and think they are doing good, its ridiculous and i cant stand you getting in to teresas family dramas, she has enough to deal with then you put your big mouth in it and said tersa never wanted to make up with her brother! maybe she said that out of rage and wasnt thinking that her good friend and considered family member would bring up old comments like that, it just proves once again what sort of person you are, and the cookbook... you say that was the icing on the cake, clearly if you cant find the jokes in teresa's book then you clearly never saw teresa as a true friend, IT WAS A JOKE!

Viewergurleygirl
Viewergurleygirl

Caroline, You are an amazing woman. You are level headed, sincere and honest. I like that you hold yourself and those around you accountable. When you're wrong, you say "I was wrong". I absolutely love that! It must frustrate you, Jac, Melissa,and Kathy when you try to hold Teresa accountable for her numerous "inconsistancies". You are right, things Teresa says and does don't add up. She has no boundaries and in her desperation she "hits below the belt". Regarding your relationship with Dina, the pained look on your face spoke volumes. It's a very special bond that sisters share, there might be bumps in the road but they always seem to work themselves out. Inn other words, this too shall pass. I wish you nothing but the very best for you and your family ( your whole family). I know you are probably way too busy to read this, but I felt compelled to write you after I witnessing Teresa's behavior during the reunion show. P.S. I loved the "whirlwind of stupid" comment.

Dana B.
Dana B.

Caroline, I believe you are the most mature, down-to-earth housewife! I love, love, love you!! You have values, morals, and such a caring and compassionate heart, but you know when to say when. You call as you see it, and I believe that you come from an objective point of view. It shows how wonderful people you and your husband are in your amazing children!! Let LAuren know that she is beautiful...no matter what!If she would like to shed some weight, eating healthy, small portions, 5 times a day(to increase metabolism), and do cardio every day, followed by muscle sculpting. A nutritionist, as well as a personal trainer can help her with keeping motivated, and sticking to her plan!! She is young, and breaking any 'bad' habits will be easier now, rather than later. Let her know that it's not about the way you look, it's about being healthy and feeling good about one's health. She is a gorgeous woman!! As are you!!! Love you, and GOD BLESS you and your family!!

Pamela Noga
Pamela Noga

Caroline I love you and your family, you daughter is beautiful. I lost my daughter almost 4 years ago she would have loved your show. Could I send you the book I started about her? Thank you look forward to your response I have not finished it don't know if I can. But when I seen the episode of your daughter saying she was to big it broke my heart she is such a beautiful girl. God made her the way she ought to be I only wish I could tell my daughter that now. Look forward to your response. Pam

Nancy Green
Nancy Green

Caroline, I'm one of your biggist fans. On the show your the only one with a big heart and soul. you have a great husband and handsome sons and a beautiful daughter. Are you going to contuine your radio show? Can you tell me when season 4 starts?

your biggist fan in michigan

Crystal Salazar
Crystal Salazar

Caroline I am sorry but I have lost a lot of respect for you the way you attach Teresa and almost jump the band wagon on urging her family to turn against her just cause a comment she made in her book. CALM DOWN!! A TRUE FRIEND doesn't let something so small damage a whole friendship!! And believe me with my best friend of 13 years who has hurt me and we have argued we have never backed stabbed one another. I am hoping its just bravo editors that are making look like such a 2 face now suddenly cause your so called friend Teresa is under attach you to join the group in attaching her cause its the IN THING to do suddenly.

dr1v3b1f81th
dr1v3b1f81th

Love, Love, Love You! You are the most humble, sane, intelligent Housewife ever!!

amendoza
amendoza

Caroline, you are an absolute beauty. You're such an amazing woman and are so strong and appropriate when everything hits the fan. You have a fabulous family and you are such a loyal person. No one can say differently. You're my favorite housewife and I hope your holidays are fantastic. You deserve the best! Be great

Diane.
Diane.

Caroline I am so disappointed with you at the reunion... I thought you try to brake up Teresa's family and make a fragile situation worse! I was your fan but, I thought this was disgraceful! Even though I don't agree with everything Teresa does I can't imagine ever destroying her relationships with her family!

lovetowatch
lovetowatch

Caroline, you are the best. You really are such a genuine person who gets what life is all about...and no, I do not mean sparkling bathing suits! Your brother Chris also seems like such a great guy, and tries so hard with Ashley. You mentioned you are one of many. (11?) I would love to know more about your parents and how you all were raised as clearly your parents did something right!

Seth B
Seth B

I watch your show all the religously. I am just curious how you always stay positive with your family and friends no matter what happens? I try to always stay in the positive with everyone but I get very frustrated with the situations. I love the way that you always keep your cool and I wish that I could do the same. Your an awesome person and amazing mother :)

Tempie
Tempie

Regarding the episode of Teresa's cookbook, where she comments about your ethnicity and makes remarks about your son. Do you not think that the reason she wrote those comments in her cookbook was that your son allowed Melissa to do her debut of her new single in the BROWNSTONE as they were introducing BLACK H2O, (Black Water). It seems as though Teresa got upset when her husband gave Melissa great comments on her new single. It also, appears that she really HATES Melissa simply because Melissa is young, outgoing, and beautiful, she knows who she is, and she loves Joe just as Joe loves Melissa very much. However, I truly hope that you stand up to her as only you can do. As a woman I truly, love your confident, how you speak your mind in such a manner that is classic and to the point. You are truly a remarkable person. God bless and keep doing what is right. I agree with Albie cut Teresa loose.

Tempie
Tempie

Caroline,

Regarding the episode of Teresa's cookbook, where she comments about your ethnicity and makes remarks about your son. Do you not think that the reason she wrote those comments in her cookbook was that your son allowed Melissa to do her debut of her new single in the BROWNSTONE as they were introducing BLACK H2O, (Black Water). It seems as though Teresa got upset when her husband gave Melissa great comments on her new single. It also, appears that she really HATES Melissa simply because Melissa is young, outgoing, and beautiful, she knows who she is, and she loves Joe just as Joe loves Melissa very much. However, I truly hope that you stand up to her as only you can do. As a woman I truly, love your confident, how you speak your mind in such a manner that is classic and to the point. You are truly a remarkable person. God bless and keep doing what is right.

Viewer in CA
Viewer in CA

Hi Caroline,

I wanted to thank you for giving great advice and encouragement to a women who called you on your show concerning her son who has a learning disability. I have a learning disability and don't often hear people give good insight on the subject. And your right, sometimes it takes a bit longer but with the right motivation and support we are all capable of achieving our dreams regardless of our learning style or pace. Thanks again for your warm thoughts!

theodora      Viewer
theodora Viewer

I will not watch this show if Caroline and Jackie are still on. let a lone Melissa and Theresa's cousin.

touchdownsgal
touchdownsgal

Caroline -

I am getting so frustrated Caroline, so frustrated. From the year 2004 to 2008 I had the best job ever until I was layed off with 15 other employees. Since then I have started school, snapped my achillis tendon in half and couldn't work for almost a year and now that I graduated I am having a rough time finding something. I was accepted into a Bachelors Program so I am going to begin that as well and I am almost 40. I feel like I am wasting my time but at the same time I feel proud of myself for my previous grades soooo different than what I got in high school over 20 years ago. I even applied at Little Ceasers (pizza place) and I was over qualified for that.....I mean come on!!!, to qualified to make a pizza or take orders!! Everyone I vent to tell me the same thing "Things will get better"......but it is really hard to believe. I sit in my room at night and cry myself to sleep on what the hell am I forgetting to do and when I wake up in the morning I am checking career builder to see if there are any new ads out there that I can take a stab at. What else can I do? I am so stressed and ready to go postal!!! I feel like I am going nuts! Any advise would help a lot.

Thanks Caroline

Love ya KT

Bravo Fan
Bravo Fan

Hi Caroline! Happy Columbus Day! I was so upset when I watched last night's episode and heard all the horrible things Teresa said about you and your adorable son. It was so uncalled for in a cookbook. I don't have her books and I never will. I prefer more credible Italian cooks like Lydia. That woman is just bad news. God bless you and your family (including Greg, lol) may nothing but happiness and good health come your way.

StephBuhl
StephBuhl

Annonymous"Ifeel as you do about this family"-Love,Love,Love the relationship these siblings have,they go thruough evrything togeather. The Manzo boys and their sister Lauren,are Smart,Sensitive,Funny,extremely well grounded,Good looking kids. Caroline has done a wonderful job raising these kids. She has a grace and elegance about her that no other NJ house wife can touch. Keep doing what your doing,your in a class all your own Caroline.

AidaPERSIAN
AidaPERSIAN

Hi caroline :) , i am 16 years old and i just love u. i love how u say things so strong and without fear! when u said dreams come true, it hit me.idk myabe they do but u got my hopes up. :) i don't know if i can ever make a living even close to yours but i hope i can have a big family like you on day.

 Dottie
Dottie

Caroline, when does the next season begin.? I love your loyalty to those you love. I wish you were part of my family. Stay happy and healthy. You look great.

jesenia cortes
jesenia cortes

Let me start of by saying how much I admire you and your family. I am a single mother of 3 two boys ages 10, and 4 and a little girl age 7. I needed alittle of advice Im unemployed and although very smart Ive had a very hard life at just 31 Ive been around the world emotionally. Never completed high school but worked as a program facilitator in an adut day care.I wanted to know how can I make a difference in my life and in others by standing on my own two feet. I know you know lots of people whom have children and clothes that they may not use. Im not interested in the media just a single mom asking for an clothing donations and advice on how start my own foundation to be abe to help others in need on day. please help, and keep up your great work with god. oxoxo

Erin mother of 2
Erin mother of 2

Have never blogged in my life but figured it was a way to send u a mess ti express to u how much I respect and enjoy u as a mother and person..u have a great personality..when i hear you laugh its contagious..anyways i hope to make my new family as strong as your and hope to take pointers.. :) thankful to have someone real to look up too. :)

shantha
shantha

hi,caroline u remind me of my mother strong, beautiful,and a greate cook.i am an african american women. coming up my mom use to cook us chines,and italian food.u have a wonderful family,may god bless u and ur family luv y'all

beliveing viewer
beliveing viewer

Caroline....I didn't have a mother that taught me how to cook. If anything - she always shoo'd me and my sister out of the kitchen. Will you teach me how to cook something please? My husband would certainly appreciate it.

MadgePadge
MadgePadge

I have a question for Caroline: Why aren't you blogging anymore?

Kelly    MA
Kelly MA

LOVE Love Albie Chris and Lauren! They always make me smile! Great sense of Humor! Lauren, What a sweet kind respectful, funny, talented girl. No wonder you are so sad they are leaving the nest. You must be incredibly proud. Especially seeing train wrecks like Ashely. I too suffer Migraines. I remember spending an entire day in our Villa with eye mask on while my husband went to beach alone. It makes it worse that your missing out but Given the Cheesy bathing suit Parade you were Better off! I fest your Pain seriously! Your Husband is a true Sweet Gentlemen. You are very very blessed Caroline. ~

mommy1st
mommy1st

Caroline, I enjoy your advice and watching your family on the show. I am a favorite of you, Theresa, Jaqueline, and Melissa. Honestly, watching the show Kathy is constantly stirring the pot. How is it that she gets away with creating a feud and stoking the fire? I hope this feud settles down so that we can go back to ejoying the season, and watching your daily lives unfold without drama....

BALTIMORE
BALTIMORE

KATHY AND HER HUSBAND HAVE BEEN GOING TO THE BROWNSTONE FOR YEARS WHY NOW DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEM TO A PARTY I THINK YOU HAD OTHER PLANS IN MIND SHAME ON YOU

Annonymouscommenter
Annonymouscommenter

Caroline I have always enjoyed watching you and your family on the show because you have maintained a sense of dignity unlike the other characters who are star struck. Unfortunately, it seems that the show has lost its lustre and more of the true and undesirable characters of certain people on the show are coming out. I commend you for being loyal to your friends; in fact that is what a friend is supposed to be about. But I can't help noticing that even your patience and that of your family is being tested especially with Teresa. If this is true I do not blame you. This season they have not come across as being the most ethical or indepth people....and what is ironic about that is that I really liked her and was on her side. There just seems to be too many issues. Whatever happens to the show try to stay connected to Bravo and all the people who support you out there. Stay true to yourself.

heidiv1989
heidiv1989

caroline i luv u teresa and jaqueling ( sorry if a misspelled all the names ) lol.

i luv how ur family is soooo strong and family comes first and i onely wished and dream for a family like yours, your sons are soo respectful and their for their family anytime all the time youve done great as a mother and so has ur husband to have amazing , great, classy, good looking, beautiful children your daughter and sons are great souls and i feel they owe it to you and ur husband, im glad their are people like your children in this world cuz i can expect them to make good choices ini this world and good choices brings the world to a brighter future