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My Brother the "Scootch"

Caroline shares the special word she uses to describe Chris and explains the chapel incident.

By Caroline Manzo

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

Hello, everyone, sorry I missed you last week!  

I'm going to start with the meeting between Joe and Teresa. After watching the two of them together and listening to what they had to say, I came to the conclusion that Joe's scars go very deep. He spoke about his children and how the feud has trickled all the way down to their level. I don't care if you love the guy or hate him, that hurts him, and you can see it from a mile away.  His facial expressions and his body language actually said more than what he verbalized. I didn't feel like there was any true resolution. It seemed to me that they both were done with the conversation and just wanted to get out of each other's way. Sad.

The talk between Teresa and Melissa didn't go much better. On the surface it seems like they both were going to try and move forward, but I didn't feel it. Something was off, and I think they both knew it. It's sad, and I hope I'm wrong, but that's what I got out of it.

The radio show was so much fun, and I loved every minute of it. I really enjoyed talking to everyone, but I'm not going to lie, I was a nervous wreck! I had two fears -- first that I wasn't going to hit the mark with the commercials, traffic, and weather. I wasn't prepared to deal with the technical aspect of the show, and I didn't want to disappoint the radio station by failing to complete a very simple task.  Second, I was terrified that no one would call! Those first few minutes were torture. I wasn't sure if I had to just keep giving out the phone number or if I should just start a dialogue to prompt listeners to call in. The good news is people did call in, and I got through it. A huge thank you to everyone at NJ 101.5 for the support and kindness, you guys are the best! Last but never least, how adorable is my trusty sidekick Lauren? I was happy to have her with me, and I think she secretly got a kick out of seeing her momma squirm a bit! Xoxo Love you, LaLa.

OK, let's talk about the Catskills. What a weekend! I first need to thank Joe's parents for their hospitality. They were literally bombarded with dozens of houseguests, the food was nonstop, and in the true spirit of Italian culture, they never made you feel like anything less than family. 

I meant what I said about the quads. I've known too many people that have been hurt and one or two that have been killed while riding them. It seems to me that most people believe that it's a chance to drive recklessly with minimal risk. You have to respect them for what they are; a motorized vehicle capable of high speed. Unfortunately if you don't act responsibly, they can be very dangerous.  Call me crazy, call me overprotective, but it is what it is.

I didn't mind the guns, I know Chris is pretty responsible with them and I saw that Joe was too.  My boys were taught how to handle firearms from their dad and Albie is actually a sworn Sherriff’s Deputy so I knew that they wouldn't be reckless in that department.  I have to admit it was a little crazy watching them all stand on the deck like they were holding down the fort.  I'm happy that the target was watermelons and not Bambi.  Thank God for tiny miracles.

My brother Chris is what we like to call a "scootch." It means someone who likes to tease you and watch you squirm.  I can just imagine what was going through his mind when he saw Wilbur the pig and the goat. He knew he had any easy target with me and went for it. I think he got the reaction he was looking for! I'm not a vegetarian, but there was no way I could have any of that pork after seeing that poor little pig with the apple in his mouth. I don't even want to talk about the goat's head. I get nauseous even thinking about it. Bottom line is we love to poke fun at each other and laugh, and there's nothing wrong with that, right?

The chapel was actually very sweet. It was endearing to watch Joe's mom and dad show it off with obvious pride.  Let's face it, how many people do you know that have actually built a church on their property? Nice, very nice.  The only thing wrong with that scenario was us. We were just coming down from a crazy weekend of overeating, overdrinking, over bedazzling, nighttime quadding, and gun shooting. It was bizarre. One minute was chaos and the next minute we were lighting candles.

Jacqueline and I were standing together when we heard Deloris' comment on Baby Jesus' feet, and we lost it. Who knows why, maybe we were overtired, maybe it was just because. Make no mistake; it was in no way directed at Joe's parents or the chapel itself.  

Antonia dancing was priceless. Her little face is too cute for words, and I absolutely loved the fact that everyone endured the torture of the recital just too see her dance.

It was so funny to see them barely getting through one minute and yelling with excitement the next. I'm sure all of the parents out there know exactly what I'm talking about. The things we do for our kids, right?

I think that's it for now. As always thank you for watching, and I'll "talk" to you soon!

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