So now you have met Ashley's birth father, my ex-husband, Matt, and his beautiful wife, Jodi. They are both really good people, and they have a great family. They have four boys between them plus Ashley. We all have an amazing relationship with each other. We work together to figure out the best way to guide Ashley. We bounce ideas off of each other often. I was so happy to have them finally come out for a visit/intervention. I will try to get Ashley to listen to anybody that can get through to her, since she doesn't listen to guidance from me. Ashley ADORES her father if you haven't noticed. (Of course she adores Chris as well.) It makes me feel so good to see how happy she gets when she spends time with Matt and Jodi. We had a blast when they were out here visiting from Texas, until...well... you know.
I'm about to address the most difficult scene of this season for me to watch. I can barely watch it. It's tough opening our lives up to you like this, but we signed up to be honest with our audience. We learn a lot from watching ourselves. I have to say though, it was an eye opener for the both of us. I'm hoping for Ashley and I to gain a better understanding of each other and also learn a little something about ourselves. As a mother, you love your children SO MUCH that you want to give them the best of everything and want to guide them through the easiest route in life by avoiding some of the obstacles that you've already learned your way around. It's painful to see your child hurting. You want to save them from themselves sometimes and from doing things that you know could harm them. You want your child to believe in you and respect you for what you already know. It doesn't always work that way.
When I tell Ashley how hard I have worked and the sacrifices I have made in my life to give us both a good life, it is NOT to rub that in her face as if she had burdened me with that. NOT AT ALL! I CHOSE my path in life and I wouldn't have had it ANY other way. I would make the SAME choices ALL OVER AGAIN to have my daughter and give her the best life I could. My point in telling Ashley that was being misunderstood or mis-communicated to her. What I want from Ashley is to just APPRECIATE me and RESPECT me for doing it! THAT'S IT! I want her to be PROUD of me for what I've done in my life, and not look down on me for it. I want her to hold me in as high regard as she does her father. I want her to love me and appreciate me for giving the both of us what we've had throughout the years. Ashley was NO MISTAKE. Ashley is EXACTLY why I WANTED to work the way I did. She grounded me. She was what kept me going. She is who I looked forward to spending my time with. I WANTED that life with her, I DON'T begrudge her for it. I'm thinking now that may be what Ashley was thinking this whole time and where some of her anger may have been coming from. I hope she realizes now how much I have ALWAYS loved her and have NEVER regretted the decision I made to "keep her," as she put it.