Teresa did tell me that she did not want Kathy at that New Years Eve party, but she also said she knew and understood the situation. Even if Caroline was just getting to know Kathy, Albert's relationship with the Wakiles went back many years, even before he knew Teresa. How could they have invited the Wakile's whole family to New Year’s without inviting them? In the past their family had their own thing going on, and there was never a connection between everyone involved, so there was no obligation to ever invite them before. This year was obviously different.
I feel sorry for you and your relationship with Ashley. You also need to listen. However, it seems to me thay you like Mellisa more now than Theresa. I recall how Theresa was there for you. don't be a hypocrite. Theresa is going through a hard time please give her a break!!!
I like you, but you all are tripping with Teresa! She explained that she needed to speak to Kathy when SHE was ready. First of all, Kathy did not say to Melissa hey, your kids were unattended! and in fact Melissa's were unattended. That was a low blow to Tre. I do agree, I wish they could all be cool, but at lease Tre isn't faking it!! Also, no comment as to why it was ok for Tre to get bashed ALL season by so call family??? You and Caroline suck, I only like Tre now! She needs her own show! You all saw how she had your back with Danielle. Learn how to be real friends!! Also that may be why Ashley is so sick of living in Jersey! You want her to act like she is a Manzo!
Jacqueline you and Chris are wonderful parents!!!!! I sure hope Ashley figures that out some day, but for right now I'd like to see her go live with her father, or you both need to give her a bigger dose of tough love and give her one month to find a place to live and move out! Tell her she does not need to have an apartment, there are plenty of widows who need the money and would rent her a room.
Jacqueline, I’m not even sure if you’re going to read this, but my heart is breaking for you!! I'm only 31 and I too had my daughter at a young age. That episode is what I fear the most when my daughter gets older. It really bothered me with Ashley’s comments that she made. Especially the one where she had said "well I didn't ask you to keep me"- If she doesn’t want your help or the family’s & thinks she has it so hard then tell her to emancipate herself & see how she does on her own!! You and Chris have done enough for her where she is not respecting either one of you & just taking advantage. I truly hope one day she will realize how much you love her & all that you have done for her. Not saying you sacrificed for her b/c she will never understand that part unless she gets pregnant herself. I think you’re a great mother & don’t deserve to be treated like that!! oxo
Jacqueline, you are an amazing mom. Ashley was completely out of line with the "baby at 20" comment. She obviously knows how to push your buttons, but this comment took things too far. If Ashley sees this show and still doesn't realize that she is one of the luckiest kids around and she has been acting like a spoiled brat, I don't know what will wake her up.
Keep your head up. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to employ tough love...I hope everything works out with you two.
Jacqueline, my heart broke for you with the scene at the restaurant with Ashley and all her parents. I kept looking at the scenario, how many children of divorce have 4 loving and loyal parents who come together just for her. AMAZING, I loved it! You guys are so awesome and I wanted to throttle Ashley for her unwillingness to accept responsibility of her life. One thing is for sure though, regardless of any choices she makes, you guys have gone above and beyond to nurture and care for her. Jacqueline, it's up to her now, you've done your job, and quite well!! She will make it or she won't but at her age it is no longer a reflection of you or your parenting. She is old enough to make good adult decisions, let her go!
It broke everyone's hearts as well as my own the way last night's show ended. Ashley doesn't understand how lucky she is to have you as her mother. All we have seen on this show is love and devotion for her from you and she misinterprets it. I sincerely hope that your relationship is better now, because you deserve respect and love. You are such a kind person to everyone on the show. You have become my favorite housewife. Keep doin what your doin, mama. It will turn around!
WOW I can not believe you're turning against Teresa!! How can you not see how fake Melissa is being? OK so we all saw Teresa being bitchy to Melissa but how do we know Melissa hasn't been worst to Teresa in the past? You seem to be a real fairweather friend & you only go where the drama is- Danielle, Kim G & now Melissa.
BTW I think Danielle is telling the truth about Melissa!!!
Jacqueline, you look like you are switching to team Melissa. I think the root of this whole relationship goes back to this....Joe Gorga gives Melissa a lifestyle that she stays for and Teresa sees that. Teresa is staying with Joe Giudice, for rich or for poorer, as she should.
You are doing everything you can for Ashlee, set her free and let her learn. This will be the hardest thing ever, but it mgiht be the only way for her to learn.
My heart broke for you last night when Ashley was so disrespectful to you at dinner time. I can empathize from where you're coming from because I had son at 20 and while every one of my friends was out there trying to find a man I was busy trying to raise one. Frankly, a couple of things confuse viewers about her, number one she stated that "money can't buy love" so why the F*** did she beg and plead for a new car? Number two, it seems to me as with many teenagers/young adults these days that she feels a sense of entitlement and does not have to work hard like the rest of the world. I do hope she finds herself a good bakery and orders the biggest slice of humble pie. She can place as much blame on you and her father about where she began but she definitely cannot place any blame on anyone but herself for where she ends up. Just my two cents, unfortunately we mothers have unconditional love for our children no matter how much they disappoint us we still want the best for their future.
i could not even finish your blog. remember when your psychic said that teresa had daggers coming at her from every direction? It looks like you are holding one of them. I DO NOT like teresa, but ALL of you have pushed me to feel sorry for her. so let me get this straight, her very own family members come onto the show and publicly bash her every chance they get and her "friends" side with them? WOW. Melissa and Kathy are certainly not innocent here, they are just as much to blame as T is, ridiculous that you cannot see this. I NEVER thought you would jump on the bashing T train.
You are a great Mom! I totally understand it is the hardest job to do...and you are doing a great job of it! All girls fight with their mothers...Ashley will grow up in the next few years and will realize how wonderful you really are! :)
I am not trying to be hateful here, but with friends like you who needs enemies. No one is perfect and Teresa has her faults but Teresa was your friend long before Mellissa and Kathy. Where is your loyalty to Teresa. She had your back during the Danielle saga and now all you can do is lecture her about her own family when you don’t know all the facts. Only Teresa knows what these people have put her through. Teresa needs a friend to lean on right now and it appears that you were never a true friend.
Love, Love, love you Jacqueline! Its hard to watch Ashley treat you so badly, but so relatable because I am getting the same attitude from my 16 year old. Alghough she has more time to "grow up" i sure hope she will. I like you, tried would let ANYONE talk to her hoping she'd change but so far no. Wishing you and Chris nothing but the best in dealing with her. Its great that her dad and step mom are so involved and supportive too! Happy New Year! Hopefully new attitude from Ashley!
You're my favorite Jaqueline!! You always speak the truth regardless of who your "friends" are and manage to stay neutral. Ashely should see what a wonderful mother she has in you...Although we all remember how difficult the days as a teenage girl were. I didn't start really appreciating my mother or the sacrifices she made for me until I was mid 20s. Mothers and daughters have such a unique relationship. I always say we love hard and fight hard : ) You and Caroline have such amazing families, I can't imagine her getting into too much trouble with all of your support, love, and guidance. God bless!
I think your recap is a week behind. Anyway, Jacqueline, you are a wonderful person and mother! I love watching you every week. Hang in there.
Jacqueline, I'm a 22 year old in NJ, & I've been following the show, and Ashley's behavior since you guys aired. I've also watched you, and it all seems pretty familiar. I can't say I am exactly like Ashley, because I'm not. I'm too much of a people pleaser, and too conscious of others feeling to be that way. BUT, I know exactly how she's feeling, why she is doing what she's doing because there are certain aspects of her life that mimics mine. Anyway, I've been through A LOT OF CRAP that has given me a more humble perspective which is why I can't say I'm exactly like her. Ashley, on the other hand, hasn't. I hate to say this, or actually -- I don't, but you have to let go. She is in need for some hardship to really realize what she has, and what she's doing. I didn't ever truly realize what I had (an amazing family, a roof over my head, security, etc.) until I went through some hardships of my own. The hard ships led me to take a different path. I don't know what it's like in Franklin Lakes, but I live in a town in NJ with one of the best school systems in the United States, and everyone is expected to go straight to some amazing 4 year college after HS. I had a lot of hard times in HS (looong story!), and I ended up doing the whole community college thing (scandalous in my town), until I figured out what I wanted to do, then applied myself to that, to then be accepted into a 4 year private instituition to finish my bachelors. I also, worked full time in retail as a manager, ended up moving out of my parents (one of the best things I ever did -- you end up realizing how lucky you were. You get a true sense of money, as well as how good you have it, etc.) I think until Ashley is thrown out into the real world to fend for herself, she won't ever realize how amazing a mother you are, how great BOTH her fathers are, how lucky she is to have the safety and security of a wonderful home, a happy and healthy family to support and love her in every moment (good or bad), etc. It's that whole idea, someone can tell you something over and over again, and warn you, and you'll never truly learn until you experience it for yourself. She needs to do exactly that. Show her some tough love. It might be hard for you, it might make you feel like a bad mother, but it's the exact opposite. It shows the strength you have to teach your daughter a lesson. Because at the end of the day, it's the most important and life changing lesson she'll ever learn. Honestly, I hope you do kick her out of your house like you implied in the episode. Not out of malice, but to teach her an important lesson -- it will not only benefit her more than you'll ever know, but you and your family.
Sometimes when I'm watching the show, I wish I could jump through the screen and play translator between the two of you. Because I know EXACTLY what you're saying, and I know EXACTLY what she's saying, but you two might as well speak gibberish to each other because it doesn't get through.
Anyway, I hope you read this. And I hope it gives you some insight from someone close to Ashley's age and background who's been there, done that. You're doing an awesome job, you're a great mother, never doubt that. All you need to do is show her some real tough love. Let her move to LA, let her learn. If she wants to go, she can go, but she can deal with it. Not you. Make that clear. Let her figure out finding a job, figure out rent, ultilities, food, etc. That's not your job -- if she wants to move out there, then SEE YA! She'll be forced to fend for herself, realize how good she had it at home, and either one of the two will happen: 1) She gives up and comes home, but realizes how friggin' good she has it back in Jersey and apologize for her crappy behavior 2) She busts her ass out there because she falls in love with LA and wants to continue living there but realizes the only way to support herself is by working hard. So you really can't lose. Just STICK WITH IT & the idea that you will NOT run and help her up! We all have to make mistakes and go through some hard stuff to become better people. Let her fall. She'll figure out a way to pick herself up. Trust me, we all do. Xoxo
Hey there Jac, I want to say first of all how amazing you and your EX are. Yuo two are such an example for blended families. That being said, It completely broke my heart to see the way Ashley treated you. I mean I am always annoyed at how unappreciative she is but tonight was different. I want to tell you, I had my daughter when I was 15 years old. She is almost 17 now. I had to grow up super fast and be responsible. When ashley threw that you were 20 when you had her in your face my daughter was watching. she had some choice words for her but then she came up with simply this.... "AShley, Your mom CHOSE to make sacrifices becasue she loves you. NOT becasue she had to. There are a ton of moms who have their children young and decide not to let it change their immature ways at all. Grow up! Also, it doesnt matter how your mom talks to you, she is your mom you do not get to talk to her that way EVER!!!" Well Jac I hope you share this with her. She needs to realize what you have done for her is not out of obligtion but love. Let her come to L.A. This town will slap her around more than you or her dad could ever do. love you god bless the Lauritas
I think your daughter, Ashley, may have ADHD. I know from my own experience that it is frustrating to get your child to focus on something long enough to accomplish their goal. With Ashley's struggles in school, not being able to finish a task, complete assignments or latch onto anything long enough to see it through, may indicate a learning disability. It is quite common to go undiagnosed in girls because they tend to lack the hyperactivity that is so prevalent in boys. In girls, it comes across as being lazy, not applying yourself or daydreaming. Because she has such a strong support group from her loving family, the fact that she cannot focus and see something through is a red flag for ADHD/ADD. Please check into it for all your sakes!
Jacqueline, oh my gosh I have a Ashley who is 19 years old and three times worse then yours. Watching you last night was me and her stepfather dealing with my daughter. She could have such a bright future, we have a lot to offer her and she doesn't care about anything or anyone. She keeps getting worse and worse. The attitude your daughter has with you is the exact same mine has with me and all we do is help them and want the best for their future. My daughter is so rebellious towards me and I don't understand why. Like I said, she could have so much but she refuses to go to school and barely works at a fast food restaurant. We have given her so many things and she doesn't care to take care of anything and destroys it. Clothes, cars..etc..... Anyway, just to let you know your not alone and I will pray for you and your family and I hope she starts taking responsibility as well as my daughter also.
Hi jacqueline! Your relationship with Ashley reminds me of my relationship with my daughter...though she is only still 11. BUT, as an outsider I want to offer you some heartfelt advice...Ashley feels like she doesn't belong. Bottom line. I feel bad for her too--I really too. Try to remember it's always you two first!!!
Jacqueline I really like you and I refuse to stop! I am not a fan of Tre, but she is going through so much and your comments telling her how to act vexed me? I have never thought Kathy has done ANYTHING but try to cause trouble for the show and showcase her family w/ fake stories. In real life w/ you mayB she is great but she had an agenda for Tre and she will make a grand make up for sure. Now this is where you might be fake, Mel. song was horrible by any standards. It wasn't her fault, the producer should have made it fun and great, she has a better voice than many HW. Tre could have been more supportive. Could we play back the nice things Mel has said about Tre cook books. Press leaks about Tre's family troubles hmmmm. Give Ashley all the love in the world, don't give her any more money you will see a changed girl, but that would take courage on your part. I think you are the real deal but your blog is a little mean spirited.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with any issues ashley is having while still trying to defend her from the negative reactions people have about what they see. I am ashleys age and understand many of her frustrations and can assure you that you are not to blame. We can all see you're doing the best you can and more and as far as i'm concerned you're a saint. Good luck!
Just what you need - more advice. I would suggest contacting a local coffee shop or small eatery that would agree to exhibit some of Ashley's art work for a few weeks. Let her gather up her sketches, frame them, and put them on display for the public to see. Perhaps this will give her the validation she so desperately needs to pursue a career with this talent. I would also suggest setting a time limit for her to do this, maybe 30 or 60 days, so that hopefully she will focus and get it together. This would also give her confidence. She seems to be hell-bent on hurting you any way she can; some of this is normal for her age, but she does take it a bit far. You can Chris have done a great job parenting, sometimes a little too lenient, but overall, a good job. You have every right to expect more from her and expect it done in a timely fashion. Love and best of luck to you!
Just wandering if you and Chris have considered Ashley moving to Texas to live with her dad for a while. The change of scenery might do her some good.
Jacqueline, I say this with the knowledge that I (we) have about you. You are truly amazing, what a heartwrenching scene with your daughter. You are a loving, kind, smart, great person, mother, daughter. I hope everything is moving in the direction it is supposed to.
You and Chris are amazing parents as are her dad & Jodi.
Thank God you are the only voice of reason in this group. You tell it like it is and you are fair and not judgemental. Just wish your daughter would appreciate her wonderful mother more.
Jaqueline, I do feel for you. I know that you feel guilty when it comes to your daughter, ou shouldn't. You have tried to give to her the best of life, and so has Chris. You have given her valuable advise as have other memebers of the family, Ashley just doesn't get it yet. It seems to me that because of the guilt you feel and Chris trying so hard to please her and give her everything, she feels she deserves that and more. She has lived a very sheltered life. The reality is, let her go. Your daughter is 20 years old, it is time for her to learn what life is really about. It is time for her to learn what you have all tried to teach her. You need to let her go into the world without the net so that she learns that she needs to do for herself not others. Everything you have told her is there, it is now time for her to learn it. What you have instilled in her through out her life is there deep inside. You need to trust what you have taught her, and allow her to become the person she needs to become. As long as she has the net to protect her, she may never understand. As a mother I know how hard it is to sit back and let your child find out the hard way, but sometimes that is the best way for them to learn. Stay strong tough love is sometimes the best love.
You are my fav housewife! You have a level head and usually always see things the way they are. I feel for what you are going through with Ashley. I had a similar situation. It must be something with first borns that hurt us to the core, but the best advise I can give you is to get that last good cry out (looks like you did) and quit letting her see you taking it personal. That is exactly what fuels her fire. Make your rules and stick by them. She will come back around. She knows you are a terrific mother. THE PAST IS THE PAST. You cannot go back and try to re-do what she feels you did wrong. YOu have to start today and go forward.
Apparently have some time on my hands today, but wanted to comment on your daughter. First of all, she's so talented! Hope she finds some ways to use that. Just a hint, though, just because she's talented doesn't mean she wants to do it for a living. With artists sometimes it's a fine line. Sometimes making your passion your work kills your buzz, if you know what I mean. Give her time. She's young.
I think everyone just wanted to hug you at the restaurant after the blow out. However, I honestly think Ashley doesn't know how to voice her feelings and how the words came out about being 20 and not having a baby--while of course it was meant to hurt you...she was feeling attacked--I think what she was trying to say is that she is not you.
Think everyone under the sun will agree that Ashley knows down deep how much she is loved and how great a mom you have been to her. I think what her issue is is that maybe thru the years while you've worked hard to keep her safe and on the right track (so she didn't repeat your "mistakes")...she's trying to come up for air and find her own identity. Even if it means making mistakes. She's spoiled...for sure...but I don't think that's all of it. Her eyes give away a sadness in her and I think she knows she is letting you down...her dad...herself.
While I don't think you should give her a free pass to walk all over you, I do think like any spoiled child mid-tantrum you need to step back and give her "a way out." Thankfully she has not shoplifted, gotten busted for drugs, done a sex tape...nothing that's going to ruin her rep for life just yet...so she's holding firm to things you've taught her...but she's def. stepping out on that ledge.
She's 20, immature, not sure what she wants to do in life, and yeah...a little lazy. ; ) But she's not a lost cause. And she loves her family. I guess maybe look at it this way. Whatever she is taking out on you is just a tiny look into the hurt she's feeling inside for having no clue what to do with herself. And you're an easy target because you're a good person. While you can't make her happy...that's her job...just let her know that you get it. You get that she is 20 and doesn't have a baby.
Unfort., there isn't much you can do but let some kids/young adults fall on their face before they see the light. : ( But just know that there is good in her. Don't give up on her. All that said...STOP giving her everything she wants and tell your dear hubby...as sweet as he may be...stop buying this girl cars or anything else! She is spoiled. She needs to be unspoiled. I'm sure that's not going to be fun for any of you, but 20 years from now it'll mean the diff. between a well adjusted, strong woman who took responsibility and became accountable for herself and one who goes thru life not appreciating anyone or anything and either burns out hard...aka drugs or abuse or a bad relationship with her face all over TMZ.
Bottom line...you're not alone, mama...you've got a great, fun family and some great friends. Be the example...and SET the example...start by holding back on the love purchases and instead encourage those kiddos to give more than they get. Peace and Best of luck. : )
jacqueline, first...your family is beautiful inside and out. you're a lucky lovely,PATIENT woman.my heart breaks for you,chris and ashley's father & stepmom.i too had a daughter at 2o and the relationship ended soon after.i now have my husband of 19 years now & all is fine now.no judgement here but if ashley wants LA then send her with no mom credit card, no free car,nothing but verbal support for her right now. she needs to learn by doing.its VERY hard knowing what we know as moms what the real world is like, but she will never get anything from being told(obviously).you've tried everything else,right?what have you got to loose by putting her out into the world.i truly wish you the best and good luck. also-you & caroline are my favs and your chris is yummy!!!lol
Jacqueline: I just want to say that you are a great mother to all of your children and I think Ashley needs to appreciate what a wonderful family and life she has. I raised 2 daughters by myself we struggled and the father was never around! He never cared about his children like her father does,I think Ashley plays it up like she' so neglected . My girls never have spoken to me like she does to you. It's time for some tough love let her go to Cali with no help see how fast she starts respecting you. Good luck
Mom of 2
Jaqueline, Keep the faith. Ashley will come around. She has not hit rock bottom yet and when she does she will need you more than ever. Remember you can't change other people -- only how you react to them. Tough love - don't allow her to disrespect you and don't provide for her if she wants to be an adult then treat her like one. Your husband said it best "I will always love you, but I don't like you". I know it hurts but you are an awesome mom and time will heal. Change how you you interact with her and don't allow her to hurt you. You are a special person who has overcome so much, don't limit yourself as you will be victorious in the end. May God's blessings and graces be upon you.
I know exactly how you feel Jacqueline. My son is acting exactly like Ashley, it was heartbreaking to watch your frustration. I live it every single day... I hope the best for us both. Stay strong, i'm trying...
I just wanted to say that so many understand your pain and perspect on Ashley, she may only change when you are truly ready to cut her off and let her fall. It's heartbreaking, know that she loves you but is self absorbed and as long as you fill her basic needs she will not change, one day if you are fortunate she will and she will realize how awful she has been, then the healing can start.
I couldn't have said it better myself. I hope Teresa starts to realize even her friends think she is being ridiculous with Melissa. But, Teresa doesn't like when the limelight is taken from her.
I understand your frustration with Teresa, but I really think there is much more to the story. As much as Kathy and Melissa have badmouthed Teresa every chance they get, no wonder she's so pissy about them. I would be too.
I cried for you last night. Ashley is so immature. I felt so badly for you watching Ashley treat you like she does.
Jacqueline - I think you're an amazing parent and friend. What struck me most during this episode was when Ashley's depression / anxiety was mentioned. Untreated, depression and anxiety symptoms can appear to be 'laziness', but the person suffering is actually just experiencing such a high level of anxiety that she finds it impossible to take the actions necessary to do what she knows she needs to do to move forward in her life. This situation happened to me - and once I was treated for it, I was finally able to achieve my goals. I never comment on forums, but this episode struck so close to home that I wanted to mention this in case if it is helpful. Good luck with everything!
Jacqueline, you and Chris are wonderful, supportive, loving parents to Ashely. Ashely needs to accept responsibility for her mouth, and behavior, she is a 20 year old adult, living off her parents, with no ambition to carry her into the future. Time for mother bird to push her baby out of the nest, to make her own way without financial support from the parents. Amazing how well this works. I am a mother of three, that by the time they graduated high school, they each had their AA Degrees, and working on the Bachelors. My only daughter was working for a major company as a supervisor at the age of 20. Give Ashley a going away pep talk, did we not all get luggage for graduation - was that not the hints our parent's gave us :o). Remember they will thank you for it later! YOU ARE A FANTASTIC MOTHER!!!!!!
Jacqueline my heart breaks for you. Watching Sunday night eposide was so painful. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I truely hope that Ashely will look at the past show and coming running back shouting I'm sorry for my behavior to everyone. Please continue to ask God to open her eyes for guidance and to see you through this situation. It's never to late and I believe she can turn this thing around.
Hang in their Jacqueline, maybe your daughter will open her eyes and heart soon and realize what a great family support system she really has.
You are a good Mom
You are my favorite with your positve and funny attitude!!! It's so painful to watch you crying about Ashley I can only imagine how you feel.Let's hope that when she gets older she will realize what a great Mom and stepdad she has and appreciate everything. I am hoping her Dad will get through to her. Take care ,you rock!
I love you! What an amazing woman. I really like that wou are Teresa"s friend, but still honest enough to admit she is showing some bad behavior! Awesome