Jacqueline Laurita

Jacqueline opens up about her ongoing struggle with Ashley.

on May 16, 20110

We're baaack, and I'm back to blogging! Yahoo! You know my first blog is usually the longest, because it's been a while and I always have a lot to say. Did you miss us? How do you like our newest cast members so far? You still have a lot to learn about them and more will be revealed to you as the season goes on. Welcome, newbies! Welcome to our crazy world! Enjoy the ride.

Teresa has been working very hard to help provide for her family. She's had an incredibly tough year, but she somehow manages to keeps her head held up high, take care of her family, and stand strong by her man. You have to respect her for that. I admire her energy and her strength. Teresa also keeps looking better and better. Her body is rockin' this year! Four kids... Really? I want your trainer!

Caroline is entering a new stage in her life as each of her kids leave the nest. All of her kids are going through new challenging stages in their lives as well. It's time for all of them to find out who they are as individuals, make new lives for themselves, and adjust to these new changes. Entering new waters can bring unexpected waves. I'm proud of all of them for taking that leap and working hard toward their goals. Let's see how they learn to cope with the new changes, challenges, and obstacles in their lives as a family. It always makes me cry when I see Caroline crying. I know how much she loves and adores her kids, and I know how much they love and adore her. It's normal for family members to evolve and change at different stages of their life, but the family bond should remain strong. Let's see what happens. And wait until you see Caroline's style this year. She looks amazing all around!

Melissa is Teresa's sassy, sexy sister-in-law who is married to Teresa's only brother, Joey. I'm sensing a little tension there between her and Teresa. How about you? I'm sure the back story will all play out on the show. Buckle up for that one. It seems that Melissa's husband works hard to provide for his family outside their home, and Melissa's job is to provide for the family inside their home. Stereotypical old school Italian household. Sound familiar? It does to me. Their three kids are adorable. Three kids with that body? Not fair! Her husband Joey is going to be fun to watch. Trust me! It was thoughtful of him to offer to apply lotion to Melissa's butt cheeks. What a guy. LOL! You can tell he is crazy about his wife. (Or is he just plain crazy?) Sometimes there's always more to a story. Watch and you decide for yourself as you get to know them and as their history unfolds.  

166 comments
Leland
Leland

I totally understand you Jaqueline, our daughters were separated at birth. I share your pain and heartache. You are a wonderful mother. It's mind boggling how a child could treat their parents so different. It's time to let her go, it's not healthy for your other children, as I've done so.

J S
J S

I am new to the Housewifes of New Jersey but I love you all. I seem to feel like I can relate to you the most because of your 19 year old daughter who seems to have a very similar attitude as my 19 year old daughter. OMG I so understand your disagreements and all that. On one of the shows when you were surprised about her cleaning the kitchen and her room, I think I would have fainted but I definitely would have thought she wanted something just the same as you questioned it also. I've often wondered if there is anyone out there that knows what I'm going through or feel and I see there is and I want to thank you for that. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get respect and ever in her eyes realize that, Yes I do know what I am talking about. From one mom to another, hang in there and I'll do the same. I'm learning and watching you deal with Ashley is helping me. Thank you again, and can't wait to see more episodes. Thanks JS

Tiffany D.
Tiffany D.

Jacqueline, My last two jobs that I had involved me driving thirty minutes to an hour everyday back and forth. It got soo old, but my behind made it to work on time everyday. I understand what you are going through with Ashley. My daughter is eight, but she has more then I ever had when I was her age and could care less that the fact that the people who bought those items for her worked very hard to get those items for her. We had a really difficult time with her last year and how she acted at school. There were nights that I cried thinking that I was a terrible Mother, but then I realized that everything that I do and say makes me a good Mom. If I didn't do those things then I should question, but I do make sure she goes to school, gets her homework done, has warm home cooked meals, clothes, and has a bed to sleep in. So in all, even though it doesn't seem like it is working. It really is working. Hope nothing but the best for you and your family. I feel that we are just a like. Looking forward to Monday's episode. By the way I really enjoyed when you and Teresa was on Andy's night show. Thought your ham thing was hilarious!!

seattlesgirl
seattlesgirl

i'm in my 20's and i would love to have a mom like you.

having said that i hope God gives you the patience and wisdom you need to handle Ashley, i know that it's hard not to be selfish at that age too so i just wish you the best. i want you to know that you are a good mom and your fun and i luv watching you.

MARIA VIDAL
MARIA VIDAL

JACQUELINE, I KNOWS IT'S HARD TRYING TO GET YOUR DAUGHTER TO LISTEN. I HAVE FOUR DAUGHTERS, BUT THEY KNOW THAT I AM MOM NO MATTER WHAT. STAY STRONG WITH ASHELY, AND DON'T LET UP. BECAUSE SHE REALLY NEEDS YOU. AND NO MATTER YOUR HER MOM AND SHE WILL ALWAYS NEED YOU, SOON SHE WILL SEE, THAT SHE STILLS NEEDS HER MOTHER. I AM BEHIMD YOU.

Becka
Becka

I think Ashley needs to volunteer at Eva's Village for a month or so to give her a sense of gratitude for all she has. Not even mentioning all the material items she has around her. She needs to appreciate her loving family, her health, and all the blessings she has.

Erika87
Erika87

When I was first out of high school I acted the same way towards my mother... We were not as privileged, however, but they still bought me a car, paid for my first years of college, and I lived at home. I was working but not enough to fully support myself. I wanted my independence and my own place but could not afford it on my own. My mother tried to steer me in the right direction and even suggest jobs for me but I would not hear it. Seeing Ashley do the same things to you now makes me cringe. I wish I would have listened to my mother more before it was too late. I am financially stable now and living on my own, although I have a lot of debt from my college years and still no degree to show for it. I hope Ashley figures it out and starts to treat you with more respect because our mothers really only want what is best for us and despite what teenagers think, mothers do know a thing or too about life.

Houston View
Houston View

If Ashley really wants to move out, let her go, but don't support her financially. Let her find out how difficult it is to support yourself, especially in today's economy.

Cate from Canada
Cate from Canada

Jacqueline... keep up the strength with your daughter. I have a 19 and 17 year old and although they have not been surrounded with the wealth and privilege that Ashley has, they still have feelings of entitlement. I don't know if it is kids in general today, or just some of them, but they will have to figure out that hard work is the only way to get ahead in this life. Stay strong, you are doing a great job!

Mama Jennifer
Mama Jennifer

I can see the frustration you feel in your communication with Ashley. As I parent my own 19yo, I find the most important thing you can do is to remain consistent in your message. Ashley certainly has some growing up to do, even though it is clear that she does not see things that way. The way in which she responded to the discussion in her office was childish and spoiled and I hope she sees that when she watched it herself. If she continues to intern for Lizzie Grubman, you and Chris need to set an allowance for her along with a written recommended budget which includes the costs of commutation, meals, going out, manicures, clothing & savings and let her make her decisions after that. I don't think she has a clue! As long as your message remains consistent, you may not be appreciated all the time but you will feel good about your parenting choices. Hang in there, sister! Girls are soooooo tough! Reach out if you like...

HayleyS
HayleyS

Wow. Your relationship with Ashley reminds me EXACTLY of my relationship with my mom. She was 18 when she had me, single mom until I was 7, and then my stepdad came into the picture. She pushed me so hard to do all the right things she didn't. Get a job, save money, not rely on her so much, be independent. WELL, needless to say.....I didn't listen. I got pregnant at 18, married at 19, second child at 21, and divorced at 22. Now at 22, I'm back in with my parents and 6 year old sister and to be honest I wish I had listened to my mom the entire time. But I did learn a few things during my hard times, Mom's are always right, Boys with baggy pants are big trouble, and SAVE SAVE SAVE your money because you never know what will happen. I try hard now to tell my mom I love her but it's hard. I'm not sure how your relationship with Ashley is off camera but everyone can see that there is unconditional love and you want the best for her and you want her to not rely on you and your husband for everything. I commend you for sticking to your guns on that. You are a great mom and a wonderful wife. I wish you the best of luck and positive thoughts go out to your beautiful family. ~Hayley

TerrySTX1
TerrySTX1

What a great episode! But literally heartbreaking! So they already stopped filming this season?? i wanna know whats going on now!!

Cutielove
Cutielove

Your bringing sexy back. Lol! I love the weight you lost. You look good.

RJones36
RJones36

Jacqueline, You are my favorite housewife! You are such a great mom and I love that you push Ashley to earn money rather than hand it to her for her expenses! Too many parents these days don't teach their children independence. Keep pushing her...she'll come around. Can't wait to see more this season!

Much Love!

T-ron
T-ron

Jacqueline,

A) I just began following you on twitter, B) Team Jac and Caroline, C) you reek of wisdom, and even though times may be hard and seem hard, if you were my mother, I would definitely take your advice. Keep being you! Thx

Love the Housewives
Love the Housewives

The paragraph you wrote regarding Teresa's family is so beautiful and so amazing. I have been trying to put into words what I want to say to my family, as we are having a similar situation, and you really nailed it! Your words are such an inspiration to me and had a huge affect on my feelings towards the conflicts I'm having with my family. Thank you!

Puella**
Puella**

You are your husband are amazing parents! Ashely is so lucky to have you both, one day she will see.

Love you girl!!

SummerBabi
SummerBabi

I love your personality..........Smooches from texas

Janet P
Janet P

If you and your husband keep up with the great parenting you have shown so far Ashley will be successful. It will take a long time and be very tiring but you guys are on the right track. How easy would it be to just give in to Ashley what she wants, but you know that would be disastorious in the long rung.

Elizabeth2244
Elizabeth2244

Jacqueline, you really are a great mom. I didn't think there was anything condescending or mean about the way you were talking to Ashley, you were just telling the truth. She needs to learn that she needs to WORK to get where she wants to go in life and that the sex and the city life she wants is just not realistic for most people. I applaud you and your husband for not just buying her a place in NYC but telling her she has to get it herself, just like almost all other teenagers that don't have a wealthy family. Ashley does not realize how lucky she is and that she needs to listen to you. Sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to them.

zghee
zghee

ahh...my fabulous..sweet diplomat....still miss dina

David F
David F

Lets see a blog that has something we all want to know more about, the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy on your lap in the park!

Ramsey NJ Mom
Ramsey NJ Mom

You look great this season! I agree with some of the other comments.....I basically tune in for you, Caroline and Theresa....this new bunch is not so much fun to watch.....

lovrofbravo
lovrofbravo

Jacqueline I have raised a daughter who is and was a very strong woman! I would discuss things with her tell her my opinion and let her make the decision, some times it wasn't what I thought was the best but she learned to make decisions for herself and not lose respect for me. I think Ashley just hears the negative from you and doesn't listen to really what you have to say. If it works out better for now let Chris guide her and eventually she will come back to Mom when she sees you were right all along! You are very blessed to have a husband that is not her biological father but loves and cares for her like she was his own. Let that relationship take some of the heat off of you and maybe you wont look so much like the "Bad Guy" to Ashley. I dont mean to sound like I know it all, because God knows I don't! Maybe these suggestions could help you. I hope they do! You are a lovely person and I thank you for giving me a Delaware girl a glimpse of the life of a Jersey Housewife!

susanh
susanh

Dear Jacqueline: Thank you for sharing your family story. I love the Housewives of NJ except last night was OVER THE TOP and I did not like Joey and Melissa trashing Teresa and Joe. Melissa seems to want the spotlight and they were very mean-spirited and the christening became something out of the "Godfather". Not good. I hope the drama tones down as I am happy to see Danielle has gone and will not harm your family any more.

I used to have a very difficult relationship with my mother but over a period of years we have worked things out and she is one of my best friends. Life sometimes forces you into situations and that caused my mother and I to work on our relationship. I am just telling you not to give up and you are doing the right thing in trying to guide Ashley. She seems young in the way she views things and needs someone to guide her. One day she will wake up and thank you for being there for her. I wish you and your family the best.

Gee STL,MO
Gee STL,MO

If you were a bad mother, you would have gave her the apartment. You were being a good mom by telling her to work for it! Dont let her guilt or manipulate you! I had my daughter at 17 and my mom told me she wasnt going to help me and that i needed to figure out how to make it in life in order to be a good parent. Sure enough, I worked my @$$ off at 2 and 3 jobs at a time, lived in nast shacks, and kissed alot of butt! But here I am 7 years later, working a great job, sending my daughter to private school, living in a big house, and recently married the love of my life!

Never give up! Obama said he would have never succeeded in life if his mother hadn't have pushed him so hard!!!

sharonkaye
sharonkaye

just hang in there with Ashley...I went thru the same things with both my daughters.......the attitude and pity pary Ashley is going thru will pass. Kids these days just think they are entitled to everything..they want what we have even tho it took us years to get it...we work and we sacrafice what we want...they just want to skip that step.

Not Impressed
Not Impressed

Even though you live a privileged lifestyle now, thank you for showing your daughter that hard work comes first before she can reap the benefits of success. As a single mother prior to marrying your husband, I know you understand what it means to sacrifice and juggle multiple responsibilities. I am 22 and just moved to NYC to pursue my career, but it took hard work in college and multiple jobs/internships in-between. Ashley needs to learn what it means to sacrifice before she is able to appreciate the lessons you are trying to teach her. Not showing up for her internship is totally unacceptable -- so many girls would LOVE to be in her position. But I applaud your efforts and think you are doing your best to raise her correctly. You are always calm and the voice of reason -- you deserve to be heard both by your husband and your kids.

NewJerseyFan
NewJerseyFan

Not sure about this season - the two new ones are sure going to give Danielle a run for her money! So far, not liking the in-fighting AT ALL. If this is the direction of the show this season, count me out. As far as Ashley goes, maybe you should stop jumping in with advice and let her figure these things out for herself. When she does get around to asking for $$ help, that is your opportunity to guide and judge.

Shelly Smith
Shelly Smith

Jacqueline, Love watching you and your family! I am experiencing a simular stituation with a 15 year old step daughter, who thinks I don't know anything about life. My husband and I offer so much help and try to guide her along her way but seem to only be failing and she is only 15. I can only imagine 19! Ashely has the values already and sees good examples all around her, she will suceed in life and make you proud just hang in there! Hope you get your facebook page up soon, I will be watching but unfortunately I don't twitter. Hard enough to keep up with 1 social network! Take care and see you guys next week!

Shakingmyhead
Shakingmyhead

What is it with you ladies. The Christening was ruined??? RUINED???

1. Did the baby get baptized? - yes

The Christening was just fine - the PARTY was out of hand

And the baby - born again in the church - won't remember a thing about it

NJgurl19
NJgurl19

I love love love you!!! and you look GREATTTT btw please give me the secreat!!

vrich
vrich

You are my favorite, and my husbands for different reasons ;).

JennSan
JennSan

YOU ARE MY FAV. Keep your head up. You are a great role model for Ashely, even if she doesn't realize it yet.

njviewer
njviewer

Jacqueline, Don't be hard on yourself, you're doing great. I, myself, was a version of Ashley, with total disrepsect for my mother during most of my teenage years. Afterwards, I look back in complete disgust and cannot beleive the disrepect I handed my mother, which she never deserved. I hope Ashley catches on to that sooner than later. What you are doing is exactly right. She should have to work to get what she wants, and if she doesn't learn that now, you'll end up with a 40 year old child still mooching off of you! It is so refreshing to see a mother today fight the fight, instead of do the easy thing and give them money!

smb413
smb413

You guys are all awesome! I love how relatebale you all are. You guys are the most real of all the housewives. You are doing a great job and I am sure one day Ashley will wake up and realize you are on her side. We always push our moms away when we are trying to figure out our lives and then run back to them when we have figured out its better to have moms guidance. Im so excited that you guys are back and I have been COUNTING down the days!

Mommie2Jay
Mommie2Jay

Hiya Jacqueline,

I just wanted to let you know you are doing a wonderful job with Ashley. I actually started watching the show because of a clip with you and Ashley. As a for teen who rebelled against my mother. I can say It will take Ashley time to stand on her own two feet. She will need you there even when you feel like you are not being heard. Some if not all of what you are saying is getting through. But she is a young woman who has to make her own decisions in life. Part of being an adult is accepting the consequence of our actions. I had to learn the hard way. But I can tell you I am closer now to my Mom (who is my best friend!!) then I ever thought possible. And as a mom myself, I now know everything my Mom said and did was because she loved me. Keep your head up and love your daughter. You have a wonderful family. You will see the benefit of your words to Ashley as Ashley becomes comfortable and secure in who she is as an adult. You and your husband have done a wonderful with your family keep up the good work.

KymmieNY
KymmieNY

Hi Jacqueline, I love you more now that ever! Just one question, are Ashley and Derek still dating?

mrs belanger
mrs belanger

I loved it when Chris told Ashley that she wasn't giving you the respect you deserve. And I do think your daughter is immature. It's going to take hard work, and a few not so kind lessons, but hopefully, when all is said and done, she will grow up a bit. Good luck. I really feel for you.

Lindsee
Lindsee

You are such a strong woman! I think you are doing a great job with your daughter!

Atticus
Atticus

Jacqueline, I am happy that you, Caroline and Teresa returned. Wish Dina was back, also! Once again you seem to distance yourself from the drama of others and not get involved with the crazy gossip! GOOD FOR YOU!!

franfrom,2011 jersey on May 17
franfrom,2011 jersey on May 17

Jackie, Your daughter tries to play you like a violin, Stick to your guns, she has to learn the value of a dollar.

Kvammer9
Kvammer9

I don't really think Teresa and her brother, have a "normal" family relationship. Most normal families do NOT fight like that.

funD
funD

Bless your heart! Can't you remember thinking your mom was the dumbest thing on earth oh how i wish i knew at Ashley's age that she really did know everything! I know you are doing the right thing with Ashley speaking from experience my parents gave and did it all and it was a very hard knock when i realized they couldnt do it forever - i was never as proud of anything or took better care of something until i actually earned it on my own - just remember some day she will know you were right.

molly from brooklyn
molly from brooklyn

you DO need to stick to your guns about Ashley - she is acting very immaturely and is certainly not displaying responsible traits to take on NYC! she has gone from one dependent/sheltered place to the next (wasn't she living with her boyfriend's family last year?). she needs to EARN thinks in order to respect them - handing her everything she wants is just enabling her - and she looks like a spolied brat! NYC is tough! she is NOT displaying maturity or judgement that is needed to succeed - let alone be SAFE. sometimes being Mom means being the bad guy - but if something ever happened to her, you would never forgive yourself for allowing what you knew in your heart she wasn't ready for - she NEEDS to grow up.

good luck.

BridgetMariexo
BridgetMariexo

I absolutely love you!! You look amazing this season! So much fun to watch. I went through the same phase with my mom when I was that age. I'm 25 now and we have the greatest relationship and I am thankful for everything that I once despised. You will get there so don't feel defeated!

Midwest Housewife
Midwest Housewife

Sometimes you just have to kick the kids out of the nest for them to learn to fly. For 2 years we have watched Ashley be disrespectful, doesn't look like anything you do will ever be good enough for her. Its time for her to be on her own and learn how hard it really is out there and how good she did have it, maybe it will make her appreciate what her family was really trying to do for her. It doesn't mean you love her any less but sometimes enough is enough.

luluhousewivesfan
luluhousewivesfan

Wow you look amazing, congratulations I know how hard it is after you have kids to get your figure back. I want to tell you that I do feel for you because I too am an annoying mother to my 19 year old daughter. She doesn't take any of my advice either. I've told her so many times if my parents would of been this honest about how to handle situations I would be a millionaire. I got you on the delivery part, I to need to change because I can do the same thing. Anything I say sometimes comes out sounding negative to her but it's because she just keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. This causes me to not always have confidence in her. I will change my delivery to, tell your husband thank you for that. Best wishes to you, your family and the cast this season.