Jacqueline Laurita

Jacqueline shares her thoughts on the Ashley gift situation.

on Aug 3, 20110

I wanted to say that I'm very surprised that the Manzo boys plus @GreggyBennett haven't gotten their own show yet since their webisode series was so funny. I think the boys are hilarious! Perhaps maybe the BLK Beverage Boys & Bennett would be an even greater show. (Yes, that was a pitch.) I thought Albie was adorable with his smitten little boy face over Alexa Ray Joel. Can you blame him? She's adorable, self-reliant, and extremely talented. That girl can SING! Never mind who her beautiful, talented, famous parents are (although I love them too!) Alexa can hold her own in the spotlight. She's amazingly good. Check out her website at www.AlexaRayJoel.com 

94 comments
leo girl
leo girl

watching the last couple of episodes it is very sad to see,your daughter treats u like a sibling,somewere along the line too many choices have been given.she no longer respects u as a mother because she dosnt identify as hersef as being the child.she has taken the power from her mother and no longer can make ANY choices for herself.Unfortunatly when things go this far Its time for her to learn her own lessons the hard way,nothing u do or say will ever make a difference.She thinks she is her own boss let her be and pick up the ticket for her mistakes!Comming from someone who raised 5 boys,sometimes the best lessons are thier own:)

Adellar Greenhill
Adellar Greenhill

Dear Jacqueline, I hope you read this and consider my suggestion seriously. I raised a son in New York City as a divorced single Mom. When his High School called to say he'd been cutting classes as a freshman, I consulted psychologists who finally recommended a fine therapist whom I believe gave my son a place to let his guard down: cry, get angry, be heard by a thoughtful, neutral sounding board who knew what and when to respond. I think working with this doctor kept my son on track. He is now working in the upper reaches of finance as a Corporation Counsel and Manager; it took him a bit longer than some of his classmates, but he made it. The best thing this therapist ever told me when I was very discouraged about my son's rudeness to me was: "Your son loves you very much." This made me feel much stronger as a parent, and helped me also see where his negative behavior was coming from. He was very hurt by the divorce when he was only 3 yrs. old, and was depressed. Symptoms of depression in young adults aren't like those in adults. But one characteristic most of them seem to share is low self esteem which results in under achievement.It must break your heart to see Ashley hold back or be snarky. But you and your husband, as wonderful as you seem to be, can't be that neutral ear that a therapist can be. Ashley's feeling as very confusing to her, as well as you. But any family member is just too close to the situation for her to trust or confide in. Accepting confidentiality between a parent and child is tough, but it free the child/young adult from powerful negative, critical messages. And rest assured, any qualified therapist will let you know if she is thinking of harming herself. Confidentiality only goes so far. I am now a 68 year old grandmother, and still see a therapist myself from time to time when I feel as if I can't cope with the aging of loved ones, illness, or some other overwhelming experience. They help a person understand themselves in a non-judgmental way, offering advice if it's needed, and an ear which will always let you say what ever you need to without interruption or lack of empathy. Ashley does need someone like a therapist to help her; the family are just too quick to share ideas etc. and I suspect she doesn't feel "safe," partly because she sees how much you love your new family which she still feels separate from. No matter how old she is, she will feel that jealousy the oldest child feels when a sibling comes along. And she not only lost her primary place as your only child, she lost seeing her father as part of her family, and probably misses seeing your parents more. So she's testing, testing, testing. And part of her may feel that she's never going to regain the love she feels she has lost, so "what the H---." A final point about therapists: they take some of the burden off the rest of the family's shoulders. You are doing something positive for her--and it's very important for her to know that it's not a punishment, but the gift of giving her a safe space to understand herself and her role in your family. Then I hope some day, the doctor can say to you, your daughter loves you very much. You are a terrific person, and deserve the best.

dwalton
dwalton

Hi Jacqueline I saw last nights rhonj and it broke my heart to see you try and have Ashley respond in the way she did. I don't know if you read these or not but the best advice that someone ever gave me was if you want someone to treat you differently then you have to change the way you respond to them because it's not about the other person it's about you. If you want her to change the way she treats you then change the way you treat her. Right now you are the enemy (for whatever reason). She thinks she knows more than you and who are you to say anything to her. I know that you don't want to see her fall but sometimes that is what we have to do let the fall. You want the best for her but she has to want the best for herself. She's feeding off of your guilt for having a child at 20. I think that you have done well for yourself, you have a very loving husband and a great support system. You have nothing to feel guilty about. But you can't make her see something or feel something that she is not ready to feel or see. Just remember it's not about her it's about you.

kasey gal
kasey gal

Hang in there...I feel your pain. Change the names and your situation is exactly like mine. I said the same exact phrase you said last night...I want her gone. I have 18 and 19 yr old daughters that have been more than a handful. My 18 yr old reminds me so much of Ashley. We finally had enough and sent her to live with her father this year. Ashley does have a lot of resentment towards you (same situation here ) and hopefully she can find a healthy way to express it. My daughter is starting college soon and I'm hoping it will mature her and help her appreciate what she has. Keeping my fingers crossed. My 19 year old has lived out on her own and now appreciates the value of a dollar. Maybe getting out in the 'real world' will benefit Ashley. Thanks for sharing such a difficult experience, many moms can relate.

Newtonian
Newtonian

You have worked very hard to parent your daughter in the short snippets of your life that we see. Clearly she has a sense of entitlement that she holds to dearly. She might benefit from a program like "Outward Bound". The logistics of getting her there could pose a challenge, but then she might walk away with a life changing experience. Something has to wake her up. There is nothing like 2 days in the wilderness with nothing to depend upon but yourself to serve as that "wake up call". We can all see your pain and frustration. And, we support you.

KP88
KP88

Christmas is about giving, not getting. You really should not EXPECT to get a gift from anyone. Then you have no disappointment to harbor when you do not receive one.

With that being said, Ashley definitely lost out on the gift of giving this year. Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Victoria312
Victoria312

Jacqueline, I hope you read the comments! Although Ashley appears to be beyond ungrateful, there is a little girl in there that loves you very much. She's 20... 20 year olds think they know everything. I was 20 once.... I thought I knew it all too. My mother and I had (and still have a little) the same relationship you both have. It has gotten better as I got older but we still have our moments. I can tell you from my experience, that it is the way the topics are approached. She feels like she's under attack and not supported. She feels like her decisions are good decisions and has to find out on her own that they aren't. The worst thing you could do is the "I told you so" when something fails. When it does fail, the thing that she doesn't want to do is tell you because she doesn't want to hear you say that you were right. I know you are only trying to protect her from herself, but you have to let her find out on her own.

My parents divorced when I was young too and my relationship with my father was much different than with my mother. His approach, to me, appeared to be the more understanding and supportive one... I suspect Ashley feels the same way.

Your relationship will get better as she gets older, is out on her own, and matures some more. No matter how difficult times may get, she does love you... even though she may not show it.

Good luck to you!

Tusense
Tusense

This is for you and Chris, I am a 55 year old Mom today is my birthday, but I have only one child who is 11 and a boy, but who I tried to have every month for twelve years, finally at 43 my second in-vitro took. I never wanted a girl even though I knew this would probably be my only child. Maybe because my Mom has 3 teenage daughters including me at the same time. We are all within 3 years apart. My Mom sister had three sons at the same time and she was always glad she hadn't had the girls when my Mom would complain about us. My Mom called me and my sister Janice lazy all the time and she was right we were. My sister Diane was the perfect one until she got pregnant at 20 . While Diane helped both my parents, She was the type of daughter that mowed the lawn on her own for my Dad, and even painted the exterior of our house. Her first paycheck she came through on a childhood promise to my Mom and she bought her that "mink coat." When she had the baby not even sure who the Dad was ,if she was she never let the Dad know. Now she really needed my Mom, she was living on her own at that point, but she needed my to babysit when she went to her bartending job. So now they as adults could help each other out. How was my Mom to get the lazy one's out of her house, well one left for college and stayed 4 years and then there was me like Ashley dropped out of college, but unlike Ashley I liked making money and got a job as a hordes at ihop and then a waitress, well the first paycheck, my Mom said now you are going to have to contribute to the house, "WHAT" , I said, no way! My Mom quickly said, only $25. a week. Ohhh I hated paying that at first, and just started on my plan to move out save money and get my own place. My plan was pro ably my Mom's and it worked when my sister finished college, I had enough money for us both to move to Calif. from Long Island. Backtrack a sec. with that first paycheck, I bought my Mom a "Mom's Birthstone Ring." Ashley is still a smart mouth child, but she is suppose to be, she is becoming her own woman, and she almost has to fight her way otherwise how do we grow up, we have to test our strengths on the one's that love us unconditionally. Ashley reminds me a bit like my sister Janice, who failed at life and blamed my Mom all the way through, I think my Mom stopped loving her at times, but she never shut her out and all though the years my Mom would take those 3 am drunk phone calls from Janice. Those were mean phone calls and I told my live alone Mother not to take those calls for years, but she would, maybe because she was lonely or out of love, but I hated my sister and still do for hurting my Mom, time after time. She hurt my Dad too. Some children I don't believe deserve love if they are so hurtful to others and don't ever give back or say thank you, but ,don't write Ashley off yet she might surprise you yet. Charge her rent- life lesson-make her follow your rules. You and Chris have done your job, it is time for you both to let her spread her wings. She come back and if she has a good heart maybe she'll surprise. My sister Janice was the one who took care of my mother at the end of her life, for 20 months when my Mom should have probaly been in a nursing home. So Janice came through but I think the gift was more for Janice, it allowed her the opportunity to love my Mom, so when our Mom died this last April Janice could be at peace with herself because she took care of Mom, not that she ever said, but my brother couldn't even go to my Mom's funeral because he felt guilty he was such a posey son. Parent do the best they can do with what they know at the time and I always got that. I loved my mother, she was my best friend the last 25 years she lived and no one can ever fill the shoes that my Mom w for me, she always showed unconditional love unless I forgot her birthday, she taught me well and those last 25 years I never forgot her birthday, her birthday gave me happiness, because the best gift in life is giving, but we have to be careful when we have to much to give-CHRIS. It feels good to give. Tell Ashley to read the Dali Lama secrets to happiness. Ashley hasn't even experienced heartbreak, she is going to need her Mom for th rest of her life, it just might not be till she gets married that you will become friends. That is when my Mom and I became friends. Hope this helps! Judy

CandyS
CandyS

Hi,

I just watched a tough episode with Ashley. For a moment it became so difficult to watch as I had a flash back to my own personal experience. I was ten times worse than Ashley. I have watched you bite your tongue, and be nice and patient etc etc. It wasn't until i came home in the middle of winter to find my mother had changed the locks on me and I had no place to go. I couldn't see past my own selfishness, and immediately was like finally i'm free, but deep down I was a scared 16 year old. My mother had limited resources and by that time had tried everything as you have. It sucks, i know it sucks. I'll be 37 in a couple of weeks, and i know i can't take those times of struggle away from my mother. But you have to know that you are not a bad a person. Sometimes, the decisions that hurt the most will be that one decision that will change your relationship with your daughter. My mother had to let go, and I had to grow up!! Ashley will grow up too. Stay strong. There is support.

joan elston-mccullough
joan elston-mccullough

I was disappointed to see jacqueline's adult daughter being gang upon by the people that should love her the most. If u desire respect then u need to give it; I recommend professional counseling so that the daughter gets a fair hearing and the appropriate support. I agree that she needs to be in a less toxic environment. May GOD bless her journey and her parent's efforts

Sienna1
Sienna1

Jacqueline you are a wonderful parent! Ashley is lucky to have four parents who love her unconditionally. Unfortunately, Ashley does not appear to appreciate or respect you. I sincerely believe that Ashley should be out on her own to learn responsibility and the value of a dollar. Let Ashley move and when she can't make it, DO NOT bail her out! Keep your door open so she may return with the agreement that she either works full-time or goes to school (i.e. college/trade school). Ashley needs a serious reality check in order to appreciate all that has been GIVEN to her. I grew up as an only child and worked since I was 15-years-old. I paid for my college tuition and graduated with my Master's Degree. My cousins were very spoiled and it bothered me growing up because things were handed to them while I had to work for everything. I now understand the invaluable life lessons my parents' taught. Til this day, my cousins have a hard time appreciating the things in life they've never had to earn!

ichy
ichy

Jacqueline, Ashley's attitude and behavior is unbelievably disrespectful. You and Chris are great parents to her. She comes off very spoiled and acts over privileged. A lot of children come from a family of divorce, so when she is wallowing in her self pity and complaining about having another family is certainly a cop-out. My son is a product of the same environment and he absolutely does not act in any way shape or form the way she does. Perhaps she should spend a week at a homeless shelter and food kitchen and see how great she has it. She needs to see how blessed she is to have you, your husband and your family supporting her. Ashley desperately needs a reality check. She should take some time and read through the comments from the Bravo website. Most fans have written the same thing and how can everyone be wrong about how spoiled or selfish appears to be and how terribly she treats you and Chris. I am not trying to be disrespectful at all, just needed to get this off my chest.

Great job Jacqueline, I love you on this show.

Chinabell
Chinabell

Jacqueline I really think Ashley needs to be grateful of what she has. I am 20 years old and I moved out of my house when I was 18. I moved to a whole new city. I have no family here what so ever. I have my own apartment and I go to college. Right now I have two part time jobs and I'm a full time student and I volunteer on Sundays at the Children's medical Center. Its hard living on your own. There has been times were I just want to quit and go back to my house because I feel like I cant go on. Sometimes we young people think that by having a job we can pay rent and the bills, that life is easy. I have learned and matured a lot since I've been on my own. I'm more independent and I work my butt of so that I can get to where I want to be in life. Hopefully Ashley realizes all you want to do is help her succeed in life. But then again like I told my parents, "I know that you as a parent you want to guide me and tell me whats good and wrong, but how will I learn if your not letting me experience it on my own. You cant always be there to protect me from everything. You have to let me go and grow up."

Maybe by you letting her do what she wants she will realize what she had and be thankful for having such a GREAT mom!!

karen2384uo
karen2384uo

Jaqueline,

I have a son who is EXACTLY like your Ashley.

He has tons of people who care, doing things for him. Me and his dad split up and both remarried.

My son acts exactly the same! He treats me with no respect and I finally just said no more. I am not giving him money or helping him any more because he just doesn't deserve it.

He even told me just what Ashley said to you on the episode tonight "I want to learn stuff on my own". AND "I want to move to California". And he had no job etc etc.

Well right now we told him he couldn't speak to us until he got a job. He got one.

We'll see where it goes from there!

You're just too nice.

Karen

viewer tammy
viewer tammy

Just wanted to tell you to hang in there with Ashley! I know I have been in your shoes or maybe your husbands. I married my husband when he had custody of his three year old son. I tried so hard to gain his love. We had some pretty rough time. This year my son graduated high school and joined the Airforce. I never thought out of all these years that he would choose to do something so responsible. I also never thought that he would ever appreciate me and the things I did for him. But while in basic training he has written me several letters that had me crying.....He finally has gotten it. All the things that I did and why and how much I love him and that sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side. Good luck to you and your family! I hope my story gives you some hope! Love Tammy in KY

Christie O
Christie O

It breaks my heart to see your daughter who has everything she could ever need in her grasp and she isn't grateful. I've been battling cancer for the last five years. My two daughters have had to work two jobs to make ends meet. They have been by my side through 18 surgeries, 24 rounds of chemotherapy 7 weeks of daily radiation therapy. They can't go to college because we can't afford it, they can't be normal young women because they have responsibilities. I wish my girls could have an easy life like Ashley's and I wish she could see what a great life you have given her !!

Renee D.
Renee D.

Jacqueline, I feel so much for you that I had to write. I have a 29 yr old daughter that was/is just like Ashley. You didn't do anything wrong, it's not because you had her young, it's the way she is. They seem to live in their own world and I guess they honestly don't see how selfish and ungrateful they are. Ashley may change some, but don't expect a 180 on her attitude. I think her dad may have better luck with her, but it's only because she hasn't lived with him and puts him on a pedestal. I can see on tonight's episode you are really at the end of your rope. Well, tie a knot and hang on girl. It's time Ashley moves out. With her dad, a friend, whatever, but she needs the harsh reality that it's not all about her and life is not fair. You don't deserve all of this, no parent does, and i know how much it hurts. See about yourself now and the rest of your family. I'm hoping in the coming episodes I see you get some peace over this. Prayers to you and yours.

Sarah Brisebois
Sarah Brisebois

Ashley's situation sounds so much like my own. She attempts to do several things at once, only to fail them again and again. Sleeping all day staying up all night...self medicating to dull the pain of her current emotional state. Your daughter reminds me so much of myself. I just wanted to let you know she may need clinical help. It sounds like she might have a mood disorder, its not her fault she is behaving the way she is towards you. I had no respect for my mom before I was medicated and started therapy. I went to beauty school only to drop out in the first few weeks and had a 5,000 dollar bill left afterwards. Nothing in this world is more important than the relationship between you and Ashley, and her "flip" attitude towards her elders friends and family reminds me so much of myself at 20. Now I am 22 and have a wonderful relationship with my mother. Something I couldn't understand when I was in the midst of my illness was that I couldn't convince myself I had a problem, when it was so apparent to those around me that something was obviously wrong. I hope you and Ashley can have some one on one time to discuss her mental health, because its obvious to both my mother and I that she has emotional issues that need to be addressed in these next months. It is imperative that she see a psychiatrist asap.

A. Nicole
A. Nicole

everyone who says Ashley is just young and it's "normal" for her to act like this is delusional. I'm 22, I've been living on my own since I was 19. I pay my own tuition, rent, bills, car note, car and health insurance, and I shower my mother with gifts. I can afford to do all of this because I work my butt. I work my butt of because like Jacqueline, my mom got married and had me young, then got divorced. she became a single parent and raised me all on her own my entire life. she worked hard everyday with no complaints and I learned to appreciate that. it made me want to be just like her. Ashley could get off of her butt and do something, but she doesn't want to. my advice to the parents: kick her out and let her fend for herself. she'll grow up then! and take it from someone who is the same age as your daughter and pretty much has the same family situation, you're not being terrible parents for showing her tough love. you're actually doing her a favor.

LDawne
LDawne

Oh Jacqeline. I cant EVEN begin to tell you that this whole situation between you and Ashley is identical to my daughter and I. She treats me so aweful...even tells me I look like trailer trash, she makes fun of me, cuts me down. Its terrible. All I ever did was try to raise her the best that I could. I just cant get over how similar our situation is. I have needed someone to talk to so badly about it. However, the difference is....you have someone who has your back...my husband does not.

I need a shoulder and someone to talk to as well. I think you and I could share some stories. If you would like...cause i know I would...get my email...and message me. I could really use a shoulder with someone who understands what I'm going through. My daughter is 20 as well. Its unbelievable how much we have in common with those two. Maybe we should put your daughter and my daughter in the same room together.

Think about it.

Coalrgionbabe
Coalrgionbabe

After seeing Ashley quickly announce that she wanted a Tom - Tom next Christmas after arriving extremely late - then ordering one of the most expensive items on the menu - doubt about being spoiled was removed. Send her off to another family that is not privileged- self employed with a family business or protected by wealth - let her see what real life is - without the fall back and give her credit if she does succeed. She needs exposure to the less fortunate - entitled- spoiled. She's so surrounded by people who already got there - she has no idea what it's like to start without it. In another place/family/roommates - her attitude would be laughed at - rejected or she would have to defend herself for her self absorbed decisions. Stop playing the martyr card - she thinks she's outsmarted you - let her see how smart she is without back up- a big house - access to the luxuries and sympathetic family. and give her credit if she does succeed - she will be an appreciative adult woman if she gets there!

Tia71
Tia71

Hey Jacqueline,

I love your spirit and the real love that you emit. Once in a while, though, you have to tell a friend when they are wrong and need to be corrected. But I realize (just by observation) that Teresa can cause one to expel more energy than it's worth. Please, don't let her persuade you to be a 'mean girl' as she is. She's loud and obnoxious and always laying the blame on someone else. Crying Jesus Jesus Jesus in between her filthy outburst is not going to get her any closer to Jesus or her Brother.

You and your family...great bunch. Your daughter? Well, you will always love her and should, but will she always love you? Only God can tell. She may love you and your husband, but if Ashley doesn't change her attitude she will always show up as irresponsible, unappreciative, and rotten. Tough love is what she really needs.

seattlenative42
seattlenative42

J, you cant help ashley, unless you get her out of your house and cut her off, let her dad (matt) handle her for awhile. I had the same thing happen with my daughter and the only thing that made a difference is making her go live with her dad, when she got a taste of the "real world" it made a big change in her, I made her go when she was 16, at 20 I would have just made her move out and learn what the world is all about. You dont deserve to be treated so badly by anyone, it is our mothers guilt that create these disrespectful kids and you are not doing her any favor by babying her --- kick her out.

Kathy C
Kathy C

Dear Jacqueline, I watch you and your husband, and i am viewing my own trials and tribulations with my son. We have raised children who are entitled. My son, 22, we made him move out a few years ago, kicking and screaming, he has figured it out, but i still get no respect and he stills doesn't respect his step dad. Cutting the cord, letting go, letting her be on her Own, is the ONLY way for your daughter to grow up. She is disrespectul and condescending. You need to strengthen your bond with your husband and your other kids and let her go. You will never stop feeling guilty, or sad, or the millions of emotions us young moms go through. But you have to let go. Let her fall and let her learn, on her own. Love and best wishes from a mom who's gone through it all too! Kathy

ViVi18
ViVi18

Jacqueline, I think you are awesome! I love my mom of course, but I wish I had you as a surrogate mom! I have some advice about you're situation with ashley. Being a rebellious teen myself, I used to party a lot as a teenager, and in my early twenties, only I moved away for college so that my parents never really knew how bad it got. A year ago I realized I had wasted so much time partying and that I wanted to change my life. I have now been completely sober for over a year now and I know now that in order to be sober and on the right track, I had to make the wrong choices first. I'm 24 years old and almost everyone else my age drinks. I know it's hard to watched a loved one make the wrong choices, but sometimes the more you try to change them the more they pull away and rebel. If Ashley seems to be like this, than you may be right in kicking her out of your house and letting her learn for herself. I know that when my parents tried to say anything to me during that time, I didn't listen to anything they were saying, and the emotional turmoil gave me an excuse to party more. Sometimes you have to let go and wait till she comes around. She is an adult now and is able to live on her own. Maybe it would be eye opening for her to live on her own and pay her own bills. The people in their twenties still living off mommy and daddy seem to be the least responsible and mature people. I chose to live on my own since I was 18 and it really taught me how to grow up and be an adult. Cut the umbilical chord! She needs to experience the real world, otherwise she'll never learn! And that car you got her? Wow what an amazing gift. I hope she appreciates how fortunate and blessed she is! I hope that helps! If you're even reading this! Good luck and hang in there.

cookie123
cookie123

Tonight, I watch the new episode with Jacqueline and Ashley got into it. Jacqueline seems to be a good mother that tries to do the best for her childs, and Ashley is just a selfish brat that don't see that. Its time that Jacqueline let her daughter go. Ashley needs to be taught a lesson. She is always talking about, " I'm twenty, it's my life," then let her live it. Eventually, she will grow up, because she have no choice. I really wish them the best, and that they love and appreciate each other.

Tms
Tms

Omg...watching this is like a day in my life. So sorry.

LovetheNJhousewives
LovetheNJhousewives

Jacqueline, This is the first time I have ever posted a comment so I truly hope you see it.

I also had a daughter when I was 20. I was married at the time but her dad walked away when she was about 2yrs old (he wanted to give her up for adoption because, in his opinion, she was ruining our marriage...jackass!) we never heard from him again. I definitely understand the sacrifices you gladly made, working more than one job with a smile on your face...whatever was necessary in order to provide for your daughter because I did the same thing.

I lost my daughter to my mother. I was always the one to say no or sorry baby but mommy can't afford to right now. My mother would step in & give my daughter whatever she wanted including a Gucci bag at the grand old age of 10...totally ridiculous!!! My daughter & your daughter have alot in common. Neither of them appreciate anything anyone does for them, they both seem to think we owe them something, they are both selfish & self-centered. My daughter is now 33 but her attitude hasn't changed at all because she still has my mom to give her everything. Frankly, my daughter hates me (this too can be attributed to my mom but that's a whole different story).

You and Chris try so hard but it's time to stop! It's hard to stop because you love her but when she made the comment that she shouldn't be punished for you making the decision to keep her, I wanted to jump through the TV and beat the crap out of her!!!

She needs a job, she needs to pay all of her own bills, she needs to lose her safety net which is you, Chris, along with her dad & stepmom. In short, she needs to fall flatly on her face & then pick herself back up, that is the only way she will learn!! She'll make it...remember you did & I did and she doesn't have the responsibilities we did at 20.

She has no idea just how lucky she is!!! Send her to be my daughter for the Summer, I promise to send you back a different 20 year old!

You keep your chin up, you have been a good mom, you have done everything you knew to do to raise her right.

Lisa C.
Lisa C.

Jacqueline, Watching the dynamic between you and Ashley is like watching my daughter and I. She will be 18 in Sept and is in her Senior year...ugh! Just as Ashley, my daugter does not realize how much her words hurt. I certainly can relate to your situation. Chris is an awesome step-father to Ashley- you are so blessed to have him. I also think it is awesome that you have a great relationship with your ex. Maybe a little time on he own will allow her to be more appreciative of the blessings in her life. Best of luck to you!

ResaInCali
ResaInCali

Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh!! That was some of the realest TV I have ever seen .. It was horrible to watch .. and my heart goes out to you .. but thank you for having the courage to be REAL! It has to be hard having your family issues magnified in such a public forum, but I think your issue will help some one. Im hoping it will be a mirror to some young girl who is out of control and cant see what she's doing. Hopefully it will be some poor girl's wake up call. I have an Ashley myself and it breaks my heart to see your daughter treating you that way and your situation makes me appreciate how good my daughter is a little more because some times we take it forgranted when theyre doing the right thing ... You are a GOOD Mom .. im hoping all of this is behind you now, but if not, all of your effort is not in vain ... keeping trying .. its gonna pay off!! :)

Tms
Tms

Hang in there Jacqueline...we do what we can....they'll get it one day.

MsSD
MsSD

I am astonished that Ashley continues to be disrespectful or refuse to follow the rules and take responsibility for her actions. She is blessed to have four parents who love her, support her and encourage her. Jacqueline and Chris have gone above and beyond. I commend your efforts!!! At times, parents have to implement rules, boundaries and appropriate consequences (depending on the severity of the issue). Ashley acts as if she is entitled or owed something. She does not accept responsibility for any of her actions. Unfortunately she has not been taught a strong work ethic. I found it amusing that Ashley complained about the design that her cousin (Lauren) hired her to complete. During the consultation/review with her cousin, Ashley should have sought clarity about the task if she did not understand or she could have expressed her concerns due to the difficulty level. It isn’t about what Ashley wants to design for the T-shirts; it is what the employer/client wants as a design. Ashley is extremely talented!!!!. She had an opportunity to attend school full-time and have her parents provide financial assistance but unfortunately that did not work. Plan B can consist of Ashley working full-time and attending school part-time. Ashley can pursue a career as a forensic sketch artists, art director, graphic artist, or cartoonist. Although, this show is designed to show the glitz and glamour etc, this season of the New Jersey Real Housewives has been a reflection in my opinion of true reality that many individuals can relate with.

Ro Ro
Ro Ro

It's time for Ashley to go live with her father. Looks like he would not let her get away with anything. I can see how much you and Chris have done for her and how unappreciative she is, especially towards Chris. It is definately time her dad step in and take over.

MsSD
MsSD

I am astonished that Ashley continues to be disrespectful or refuse to follow the rules and take responsibility for her actions. She is blessed to have four parents who love her, support her and encourage her. It is frustrating when parents feel as though they are not appreciated or respected. Jacqueline and Chris have gone above and beyond. I commend their efforts!!! At times, parents have to implement rules, boundaries and also appropriate consequences (depending on the severity of the issue). Ashley acts as if she is entitled or owed something. She does not accept responsibility for any of her actions. Unfortunately, she has not been taught a strong work ethic. I found it amusing that Ashley complained about the design that her cousin (Lauren) hired her to complete. During the consultation/review with her cousin, Ashley should have sought clarity about the task if she did not understand or she could have expressed her concerns due to the difficulty level. It isn’t about what Ashley wants to design for the T-shirts; it is what the employer/client (Lauren) wants as a design. Ashley is extremely talented!!!!. She had an opportunity to attend school full-time while her parents financially supported her entirely but unfortunately that ( Plan A) did not work. Plan B can consist of Ashley working full-time and attending school part-time. Ashley can pursue a career as a forensic sketch artists, art director, graphic artist, or cartoonist.

Although, this show is designed to show the glitz and glamour etc, this season of the New Jersey Real Housewives has been a reflection in my opinion of true reality that many individuals can relate with.

Chrissy Ramirez
Chrissy Ramirez

You and your husband have done enough for Ashley and it's time for her to grow up. Instead of appreciating all the gifts you have given her over the years, not to mention a new Jeep, she sulked because she couldn't spend time with her father on her birthday, or was it at Christmas. You have been so supportive emotionally and financially that I think the only cure is to make her more responsible for her actions and living expenses. It is okay to expect a 20 year old to work if she is not going to school and maintaining her grades and it is okay to expect that she save money if she wants to move to California. I imagine many women in their 20s, like me, would be so appreciative of a mom like you who has given her daughter so many opportunities to succeed in life. You are so blessed to have a husband that cares so much for you and your children and a large extended family to lean on. Take care and stay positive!

Beenthere1976
Beenthere1976

As a mother who became pregnant early and raised my children alone, I was astonished with Ashley's comment about not putting her up for adoption and deciding to keep her suddenly makes Teresa completely responsible for whatever mistakes Ashley makes in life. It sounds as if Ashley feels entitled to being a brat. I feel for you, Jacqueline. Tough love! It's easy to say, but the best lessons are learned hard.

Michele in Iowa
Michele in Iowa

Jacqueline,

I am so sorry that Ashley is treating you and her 3 other parents the way she is. I agree with SSWTexas. Ashley says she can be on her own, let her go do it. Some people, including me, need to learn the hard way sometimes. Tough love I guess.

Take care!

MaFia4jnl
MaFia4jnl

Hi Jacqueline - Question is how do you inspire someone and how do you motivate them? I think we can inspire by lead/live by example; Motivate is done by ourselves and in doing so, we will hopefully inspire others. She is very lucky and privilege to have such a wonderful and caring family with the means and love to help and guide her. A suggestion to you would be to take her to a third world country and maybe some mission work or just earn some chores around the house to pay for rent. She will have to learn responsibility if she doesn't have any $$$.

Good luck to you and your family! You've done a wonderful job and please do not second guess or blame yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. You can only be accused of love and working hard to provide you and your daughter some means to live and survive. You were and excellent single mom!

Hang in there!

SSWTexas
SSWTexas

I think you and your husband are great parents to Ashley. I think she needs a HUGE dose of reality; i.e. being totally on her own. At that point, she will (hopefully) come to realize what a selfish child she's been and thank you both for caring about her so much. Tough love is hard to do, but it's a great life-lesson to teach a young adult who just doesn't want to listen to the love around them. Stay strong!

jlopez
jlopez

Hi Jacqueline,

I love the way you always stay true to your friends. As for your situation with your daughter, she will definitely find her way in life and she will thank you and your husbands for all your efforts. Keep the faith.

Generosa
Generosa

What happened to your blog this week?

Joni-n-NH
Joni-n-NH

Jaqueline, Hang in there Ashley will mature soon, and show you and Chris the love and respect you both deserve.

jerg1983
jerg1983

I know this way off subject but i was wondering if you knew where Dina got your fertility braclet? I have a friend that has been trying to get pregnant for a while...any info would help thanks doll!!

Dee Dee 2
Dee Dee 2

Still waiting for your blog.

Viewer Traci T.
Viewer Traci T.

Your my favorite on the show, ur daughter and teresa not so much!!! I hope everything is working out for you and your family!!!!!!

Kailea
Kailea

Does your daughter sell her art?

realityTVjunkyteresa
realityTVjunkyteresa

There's nothing wrong with Ashley. She's a normal young person who's trying to figure out where she fits in with the world. Stop expecting things from her and stop feeling hurt. Just be there for her when she needs you. But she does need to get a job! Out working in the "real world" will help her grow up.

memster
memster

Jacqueline, I think you need to be a friend to Teresa and have her back. She had yours with Danielle (remember)no questions asked. A friend sometimes doesn't need advice they need you to zip it (Quit blogging your advice)and be there for them and also have their back. Quit trying to act like Caroline the know it all. No one's that perfect!!!