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Step Away from the Pot

Jacqueline shares her advice for Kim G.

By Jacqueline Laurita

As I was saying in my last blog, "Don't let the door hit you're a-- on the way out!" Buh bye, Kim G.! That was Kim's last and final debut on our show. Is anyone going to miss her pretty little face and her devious shenanigans? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? OK, get back to me on that one. I know it was kind of a rough exit, but when you stir the pot when it’s hot, eventually you will get burned.  My advice to Kim -- put the spoon down and step away from the pot when it isn't yours to stir or someone may rip it out of your hands and beat you down with it. (I just love metaphors.) The moral of this story is... Mind your damn business!


How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

Caroline told Kim the way it was! Lauren, Chris, and Albie had their mom's back in two seconds flat. Albert did too. Don't mess with momma bear OR her cubs! Mistake! BIG mistake! They are THICK AS THIEVES! As harsh as that may have looked, the Manzos were just trying to prevent a potential, even bigger, problem from happening as they saw Kim G. working her way around the room whispering sour nothings in people’s ears. 

My husband, usually the silent observer, sounded a little out of character when he said what he said about how Kim's exit should have been handled (smacked and thrown), but I think at that time he just felt that she intentionally caused a lot of unnecessary chaos to what could have been an enjoyable night. My husband can't stand unnecessary drama. He just didn’t understand why Kim came there with the intent to hurt, and he was angry about the ripple effect that her actions had caused. I personally found it a little rude that Kim didn't leave with her friend, Monica, who she came with to the party while she was being escorted out. Maybe Kim and her broomstick caught up to Monica on her journey home. (Just teasing.) 

I also wondered WHY the heck Kim chose to bring a bodyguard to "Jesus's 89th Birthday" party! She must have been expecting trouble. Who does that? (Well besides, you know who... the one with one canceled show and one new show with REALLY bad ratings that bragged our show would tank without her when, in fact, our ratings have never been higher....just sayin'. Oops, did I say that out loud? Sorry, my delete button isn't working today.  Like Lauren said, "Sometimes you have to tell the bully where it's at.") Now back to my blog.


I think while Kim was getting the boot outside, I saw her bodyguard looking a little defeated, standing with his face buried in the corner of the dining room with a dunce cap on. I'm still not sure if it was him or someone that just resembled him. I wonder if he's still working for Kim. She needs someone from the Secret Service or at least someone very alert and active to keep up with all of her shenanigans. I haven't talked to Kim G. since the day after the party. I called her to find out where her head was before, during, and after all of that drama. She wasn't very happy with any of us. The feelings were mutual. I guess it wasn't as much fun as she thought it would be. "My, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." 

Thank goodness Christopher and Johnny's friendship remained strong throughout this whole ordeal. I felt sorry for Christopher when I saw how much he was hurting over what happened. I know that he really tried to say and do the right things. I'm happy that his friendship to Kim's son remains intact. To be honest, if I saw Kim out somewhere, I'd probably still say hello to her because that's just the kind of girl I am. She may have done some shady things on our show, but there is actually another fun, sweet, giving, generous side to Kim as well. I think Kim just doesn't handle her hurt feelings very well. She gets vindictive. I think Kim is also just bored. I think Kim is acting like a frustrated actress who thinks she was starring in a movie and was playing the villain, but what she doesn’t realize is this is not a movie, it's reality. This is our real lives, real families, and real friendships that she's messing with and there are repercussion's for meddling in other peoples lives in a negative way. Cut the BS and let's party, Kim! Enough is enough! Enough said. Next topic.


Christmas Eve at Caroline's house is always a good time. Caroline cooks her butt off and she does it very well. There are a lot of us to feed, and we are always hungry. There is always a ridiculous amount of food and nothing ever goes to waste. Everyone brings something home if there is anything left. Everyone hangs out, tells stories, and laughs. 

We eat and then we open gifts from everybody one at a time. It takes hours. Every year my husband calls out the gifts and CJ passes them out. We get so many gifts from the family for our kids that it's ridiculous. I take those opened gifts home and once the kids are in bed, I line those gifts along our fireplace so Christmas morning looks even more exciting. We also have the kids leave cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. On Christmas morning after all of Santa's gifts are opened, we go through the toys and decide which ones we can give away that they won't be playing with or that they may have doubles of. I held on to a lot of CJ's toys for Nicholas, but as he outgrows them, I will be giving them away. I'm looking forward to cleaning out the playroom and making it an adult playroom one day.


It was a weird vibe this Christmas at Caroline's with all the cameras there. Not everybody showed up because of the cameras and those that did were too aware of them. Unlike us seasoned professionals who are completely comfortable with embarrassing ourselves on national TV, some family members are just not comfortable with it. We get it. We love you!


The olive sauce is always a must on Christmas Eve. Grandpa Joe holds the secret recipe and won't share it with anyone. He even makes it in private. I, personally, feel that is a bit selfish of him, don't you think? Sharing is caring! Give it up, grandpa! Little does HE know, I froze some of it and I'm taking it to a lab. I will have the secret recipe by Christmas next year! Shhh!


Ashley finally made it to a holiday with us. She was unable to go to Texas this year to see her dad and family there because of reasons I can't remember, so we got the pleasure of her gracing us with her presence this year. I was happy to have her join us. I love that her little brothers could be with their big sister too. 

I think it's silly when Ashley says that she thinks Chris doesn't love her. To me, it's obvious that he does. Of COURSE we love her. I always tell her, "We LOVE you ALL the time, but we just don't LIKE you sometimes." What I think she is seeing is the look of disappointment on our faces and the frustration she hears in our voices when she isn't doing the right thing (which is often). One day Ashley will understand us better and realize that we never asked her to do anything unreasonable and how we handled things over the years was all done out of love for her to teach her how to be the best that she can be. Until then, we are just annoying nags who don't understand that she already knows everything.


By the way, for those asking, Ashley spelled with a "Y" is the name I birthed her with. Ashley decided that she would change the "Y" to an "E." Ashlee. I haven't decided if I would go along with that or not yet. That is why you keep seeing it spelled both ways.


It was cute seeing the Giudice/Gorga family together, especially the kids. The kids looked adorable and so happy to be together. I couldn't stop laughing at Audriana waddling around in that beautiful white puffy dress. That was hysterical! The kids all looked so beautiful. I loved when Melissa's son flexed his biceps before leaving his house. I also loved the innocent sound of Melissa's daughter's voice as she was asking about Jesus's Birthday.


Teresa and Melissa were funny with their comments to each other, "Your skirt is a little too short for Christmas,” and, "Well your boobs are sticking out!" Hey, Caroline, you were a little under dressed this Christmas! I would have liked to have seen more legs and boobies from you and a little mascara! (Why go there?) I think you should give compliments where compliments are due and try to avoid the negative.


That goes for the men too. They sounded just as catty as the women. At least everyone is together and at least they are trying. I'll give them that. They just need a little more time to create some happier memories.


I feel bad for Kathy's mom for missing out on so many years with her brother because of something that seemed so trivial. You could hear the pain in her voice just thinking about all that precious time that was lost because of foolish pride. People need to learn to understand each other, apologize genuinely, and to forgive. You gain nothing from having foolish pride. It doesn't make you a strong person to stand your ground, it makes you weak for not being able to face the issues and have the courage to work through it to find a solution. Little by little the bitterness and resentment sucks the life out of you. Forgiveness is healthier!


Milania almost busted Nona for being Santa this year. I found that funny how she suspected it was Nona and how much she seemed annoyed by it. CJ got a little suspicious this year too. He heard the jingling outside of Aunt Caroline’s house like he does every Christmas Eve, which tells us Santa is on his way, but this time he went outside and saw someone's hand under the deck shaking the bells. He almost cried. We just said we were impatient waiting for the real thing. What age is usual for kids to stop believing in Santa? I can't remember.


I loved the Manzo boys’ theory on Santa being a bum. It made total sense. He never shaves, he works one night out of the year, he forces elves to do all the dirty work for him, he breaks into other people's houses eating their cookies and milk and trying to commit adultery. I wonder what Mrs. Claus thinks about this. I find it abusive to force those poor reindeer to fly around the world in one night carrying such a heavy load, and come to think of it, I always see him in front of stores ringing his bell and begging for money. What a creep! I will be taking over the roll of Santa for my family from now on.


Caroline does an amazing job as a radio show host! I always look forward to hearing her radio show. It makes me realizes how many other people go through the same things that our family goes through. We are all human. I could not believe the overwhelmingly large amount of comments I received on Twitter and Facebook after that scene when Chris called in to Caroline to talk about Ashley. It really touched me to see how much that touched all of you and brought you to tears. I couldn't have asked for a better stepdad for Ashley than I've got. Ashley should realize how lucky she really is and be appreciative and grateful to have him in her life every day. Chris cares a lot about her well-being. I think Ashley is just too young to truly understand that right now. She will see it one day. I'm hoping by watching our show she will begin to see things from another perspective and a positive change will start to happen.

I'm trying to work on communicating with her differently and trying to remember what that stage in life was like for me. The perspective from the eyes of a child is much different than the perspective of an adult. I know it's not easy, but it could be a lot easier. It's a work in progress.
Next week, our saga continues... See you then! XOXO!



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