Jay Mohr

Jay Mohr wants to be a Gorga kid next Christmas.

on Jul 31, 2011

At Kathy’s house, Joseph opens one of his gifts, which I think is a snow vest from the planet Hoth in ‘The Empire Strikes Back.’ He says “sick” but I think he means, “A vest? You guys make me sick.”  Kathy has given Richie a wedding band. Richie apparently has “lost” his wedding band several times. Maybe the bands keep coming off since his fingers are shaped like Lombard Street. Did you guys catch that? Richie’s fingers are all gnarled and broken and squiggly. Instead of a wedding band, Kathy should have gotten him a splint. Joseph and Victoria have pooled their money together and have gotten Kathy a laptop to help her with her new catering business. Richie and Kathy begin to cry when Victoria reads Kathy her card. It is with her moist eyes that I think Kathy looks the most like an Italian Susan Sarandon.

Albert and Caroline are driving through the suburbs of Jersey when suddenly Al pulls the car over to the side of the road under a Route 80 over pass. I freaked out because I thought, “CAROLINE’S GETTING WACKED!” Instead of a gangland murder, something very beautiful happens. Albert goes to the other side of the car, gets down on one knee and proposes to Caroline. This all happens at the same spot he did it the first time thirty years ago. If you put that into Melissa math, they got married when Jesus was thirty. Albert hands Caroline Michael Strahan’s Super Bowl ring and somehow makes an under pass in Clifton look like the most romantic place on earth. I hope that in thirty years I can do the same for my wife. A very touching scene and a very real scene. A special Manzo Mazel!

Back at the Gorga’s, somehow Joey has given Melissa a completed recording studio as her big gift. Let’s face it. Isn’t this a gift for all of us? I’d like to think so. Joey Gorga is a magical man. How did he sneak an entire recording studio into the basement without Melissa knowing? He probably pulled a hat over her eyes and yelled, “Who turned out the lights?”