I was snapped from my reverie by Teresa, who was on camera, during her interview, saying, “Chur chur cher chur!” I had to rewind this a couple times to wrap my mind around what was happening. It turns out, Teresa was doing her impression of turkeys talking to each other. Chur chur cher chur is what turkeys say to each other when they discuss the existential nature of life and the finite timeline that is existence itself and how humans, because of their opposable digits, and ability to use tools and plan ahead, are able to weld incredible power over the rest of the animal kingdom, even animals that have the gift of flight even though the grand irony of being a turkey is they can only fly 15 feet at a time. “Chur chur cher chur.” Teresa knows this because one semester in high school she took “Turkey as a second language” courses.
Finally we see a scene with Rachel Dratch -- I mean Kathy -- and Richie where they are not eating. In their first scene this week they are cooking. Kathy dominates a kitchen like Patrick Ewing dominates the paint. No one is welcome down in the blocks. Either get out of her way or get out of her way. If you want to help Kathy do something you can help by getting out of the way. Richie and his son have a nice licking-the-spatula moment (that sounded way weirder than it actually was…. It was genuine and sweet), and Kathy burns some of her desserts and has a freaking Chernyobl-sized meltdown. I predicted that Kathy was the wild card on the show weeks ago. She didn’t let me down this week. Richie asks her how to pronounce Tiramisu and Kathy responds by speaking to him in Japanese.
“Teee dah meee soo." I had no idea Kathy even spoke Japanese so Konichiwa for that. She should hook up with Teresa and speak Japanurkey. Kathy reflects in her interview about how close the Gorgas and the Giudices used to be. She speaks about the families taking vacations together and there is a nice vintage shot of Melissa and Teresa laying out by the pool on vacation before either of them had fake boobs.
Caroline, Lauren, and Al Sr. drive to upstate New York to meet Vito’s parents again. They have all spoken at parties and gatherings but never as potential in-laws. You can tell Vito’s parents are good people because they have a Jets helmet behind the family deli counter. Only real morons would have a Giants helmet. Vito by the way is a college graduate. He graduated from Fordham University and he is working at his parents’ deli, slicing ham in the woods. Fordham tuition is $22,700 a year. By my calculation, that comes out to about forty-thousand salami and cheese sandwiches a week.