Jay Mohr

Episode 14: Jay Mohr finally agrees with Ashley about something.

on Aug 21, 2011

Man, it was such a huge bummer watching Jacqueline cry again. Ashley is where we left her last week, sitting at the table with her dad, Matt, and her stepmom, Jodi. Matt talks Ashley into going downstairs and apologizing to Jacqueline. Ashley finally goes down against her will. Jacqueline straight up puts Ashley and Matt on blast the second they come downstairs. “I don’t need daddy bringing her downstairs to apologize!” Damn. If I was Matt, I totally would have tried to play it off like that wasn’t the reason we came downstairs. “No. Apologize? Pppffff. We just came down to get our coats and potholders. We didn’t even know you were down here…is that a Miss Pacman machine?” Instead, Matt sticks to his guns and watching this man in action is fascinating. He has ice water in his veins. He talks to Ashley about Jacqueline and gives Ashley instructions on what to say to Jacqueline IN FRONT OF JACQUELINE. It’s like he’s “The Ashley Whisperer.” He even tells Ashley to get on her knees to apologize. Jacqueline says she doesn’t want an apology, and that’s too bad, because I really, really wanted to see if Matt could pull of an Ashley on her knees apology. If he could have made that happen he would have been a 6’8” 250 lb Yoda.
It’s too bad Matt couldn’t have been at any of Ashley’s interviews. Maybe he could have stopped her from saying things like, “Emotionally, she still has the mentality of someone my age.” Again, one of Ashley’s attacks has become sublimely stupid when held up to the light of logic. Face it, Ashley, if your mom had the mentality of a twenty-year-old, you guys would get along BETTER. Whenever Ashley puts her foot down and opens her mouth, she winds up with her foot in her mouth. There’s an old expression, “When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!” Ashley, you are in the Grand Canyon. For the love of God, just set your shovel down and smile.

HOWEVER…I finally have come to see Ashley’s point of view on something. If people repeatedly tell you that your mom gave up her entire career for you, I can see it being very destructive. Although “I gave up my career for you” is meant as a plea for compassion and gratitude, to a child it could be heard as, “Without you I could have really proven my self in the world.” Or “Without you I would have done what I wanted with my life.” In my opinion, the ripple effect from this statement is the root of the combativeness between Jacqueline and Ashley. Hear me out, I once played a psychiatrist on television, so I know what I’m talking about. If people keep telling Ashley how much Jacqueline gave up to have her, then obviously it will twist up and confuse the motivation within Ashley to go out and be successful. Imagine if people walked up to Ashley and said, “If you weren’t born, your mom could have fulfilled her dreams.” I think that’s what Ashley may be hearing, and I don’t blame her for becoming angry at this statement one bit. Don’t hint at what you might have had or might have been to your child. The moment you gave birth, you became a mother. In a million lifetimes, you couldn’t chase down a single dream that would top being a mother. Yes, even Ashley’s mother.