Jay Mohr

Jay Mohr shares his thoughts on Kathy's hookah and Joey's drag performance.

on Jul 10, 2011

At the Manzo house, Caroline tells us that Lauren is “in bitch mode.” Whatever you want to call it, stay out of Lauren’s way, because I just saw her lift a couch by herself. Next she’s going to crash through Albie and Christopher’s apartment wall like the Kool Aide guy, “OH YEAH!” While the family is setting up the Christmas decorations, they discover that someone has eaten the plastic faces off of the Santas. My money is on Ashley. I am guessing she got hopped up on glue, broke into the Manzo garage, and began gnawing on Santa’s cheeks until sunrise. Maybe it was a raccoon.

At the Gorga’s, Melissa has a meeting with some record producers at the house. The men that come over call themselves SOUL DIGGAZ. This is perfect. Who needs more soul excavating than the Gorgas? This should work out perfectly. Melissa says that SOUL DIGGAZ worked with Britney Spears. On what? Her lawn?

Soon after SOULDIGGAZ show up, the young, handsome song writer rolls in and the audition begins. The singing audition that Melissa has for SOUL DIGGAZ is a wee bit painful. At one point in the song Melissa squeaks out an “I’m sorry” between bars. Here’s a tip to all of you readers. Try to never have to apologize during a job interview. SOUL DIGGAZ (I can’t stop typing that) realize the Herculean task ahead of them and explain to Joey that his wife will probably have to practice up to fifteen hours a day. Joey Gorga says to hell with that and explains to SOUL DIGGAZ that if Melissa is going to be stuck in a studio all day, then he will build one for her. He then tells SOUL DIGGAZ, “C’mon, I’ll show you. I got a basement.” DON’T GO DOWN THERE SOUL DIGGAZ! I think that’s what the guys told Joe Pesci in Goodfellas right before he got whacked. Joey Gorga shows everybody where he will build a studio in the basement and Melissa says, “Thank you Jesus!” Then one of the Soul Diggaz also says, “Thank you Jesus!” But I think he is saying it because of the free wine.