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Over at Teresa’s house, Joe Giudice is using a Slap Chop. For real, go rewind that and watch it again. I was hoping after the Slap Chop that Joe would bust out some Crazy Glue and a Shake Weight to make dessert. Joe and Teresa have a home cooked, slap-chopped meal while sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. It all seemed very romantic.
Kathy is dressed as Diane Keaton again as she and Richie go looking for a restaurant to buy. Kathy can picture it all working out at one location. She said, “I picture the bar, the belly dancers, a few tokes on the…um…hookah.” Sure, Kathy, the hookah, yeah that’s the ticket. After watching Kathy’s excitement about smoking out of a hookah, her Halloween costume now makes sense to me.
Say what you want about Joey Gorga but the guy can build. In just a short amount of time he has the bones of what will be the recording studio in the basement. I noticed that there isn’t a SOUL DIGGAZ to be found. One structural flaw I noticed with the studio is that the actual recording booth is about the size of an empty roll of paper towels. Melissa sees it and says what may be one of my favorite sentences of the season -- “Is this my box?” Who hasn’t wondered that, ladies, am I right? No? OK then, let’s move on. Melissa stands inside and explains to Joey that it’s too small and she is going to need a bigger box. What lady hasn’t wanted a bigger box, right? Wait a minute, that’s completely wrong. Sorry. Regarding the tiny recording booth. If Verne Troyer was going to record a Christmas album, this tiny booth would be perfect. Since Verne Troyer isn’t on RHONJ, it will just be Melissa standing in that tiny booth, fifteen hours a day, being raised like veal.
You were awesome as a guest host for Andy Cohen!! I think you should go back next Sunday as a co-host when Joe Gorga is on.
Jay - Just saw you on Watch What Happens and you were absolutely brilliant - One thing though - are you trying to make a fashion statement with that awesome suit shirt and tie and the slip on athletic shoes with NO SOCKS? It' looked like the Beach Boys meets Wall Street...a bit confusing - I wondered if you had borrowed Ritchie's glasses, would it have completed the "look"......?
btw - Loved your blog as usual - super job and your insights are right on! RHONJ is addictive and I was really bummed with the week off. Thank goodness everything is back on track so nobody has to withdraw. Thanks for the laughs!
Jay - You RULE! You are so freaking funny! You were awesome on "Watch What Happens" tonight, I was laughing so hard I was crying! Also, a BIG THANK YOU for blowing up about how Melissa sang the wrong words in Amazing Grace! I was hoping it was going to come up some how and you made it worth the wait! Love the blogs, keep up the great work!
I loved you on WWHL!! The best episode I have seen in a long time! You need to guest host more often. Next time, when Joey and Melissa are there!
Oh Jay. How could you miss Melissa talking about her sisters, the people who pile on teresa, and not realize that was calculates to hurt. And when Melissa invited the group to the Xmas party, it was obvious Joe and Teresa hadn't been invited. Joe asked about the start time three times before melissa deigned to respond and when she did it was in a dismissive way while gushing over Carolyn and jacqueline's invite.
And the preview shows melissa's sister's husband asking about money at a party knowing that the pile on is on. What a family. They are brutal
I am officially addicted to your RHONJ blog. You are a riot !! What will I do when the season ends ??!!
Jay you were a riot tonight! My husband (who normally runs from the room when the housewives are on) sat down on the couch and laughed the whole time. He's Italian and has no sense of humor when it comes to the New Jersey girls. Don't misunderstand me, I love Andy but you were GREAT!
You killed it tonight! You so need to host the reunion. Maybe you can stash Andy where the Gorgas' stashed Soul Diggas.
Saw your hosting of WWHL, great job but I think it's time for you to reveal to the world that Richie is actually Moe Green's long lost son, the glasses are a dead give away
Melissa is a troublemaker too. She knows Teresa doesn't want to share her friends, so she invites them over? Teresa may be a big baby, but Melissa likes to kick a girl when she's down. Fuggetaboutit.
Jay, love the blog but you got caught tonight, dude! You were totally checking Kathy out while the caller asked their question! My husband saw it too! Don't know if I'll ever enjoy another episode of the housewives if you're not blogging about it. Keep it up - I've been telling everyone to read your blogs!
You were great tonight. I laughed out loud and rewound about fifty times your face after Melissa was singing ! Classic! What about hey Ritchie the plane doesn't have enough fuel to fly for six months! Love your blogs and your comedy.
Keep up the good work!
Jay, Loved you on WWHL tonight. You were fantastic. My favorite part of your blog was the part about Ashley being the one who ate the faces off the santas. You are so funny. Now I'm off to listen to your podcasts.
Jay, you have some competition on this blog site!! There are some hilarious posts under Melissa's blog. One viewer called her sister Lysol!!! and another one wrote a rap she can use. I also fell out laughing at those lyrics. The blogger told Mimi she could have them for free, go make a song. LMAO!!
next time, can you dress in a silk smoking jacket in front of a fire and read your post in your best Christopher Walken voice??? what? too much??
You're coming to STL, MO for a private event? What is that? So unfair! You were great tonight and I agree with Robyn. Would love to see you meet Joe Gorga. It'd be like watching when Tom Cruise was on the Rosie O'donnell show. BTW, your take on Melissa and Ashley is spot on. Keep up the hilarity!
You were EXCELLENT on WWHL and of course your blog is hysterical!!! thank you thank you thank you :)
oh.....and one last thing jay.........melissa turned to jacqueline and caroline and invited them.....she didnt turn to teresa and invited her and she totally ignored joe gudice when he asked her like three times what time the party was starting!!!!!
Although I enjoy watching RHWNJ, I look forward to reading your blog more. And yes, I had withdrawal symptoms too from lack of "the family" last week. Lightbulb moment . . . I think it would be hysterical if you filmed with the wives for one episode!
You were great on Watch What Happens. You're so funny. I just finished reading all your blogs, and they were hilarious. I wish there were more of your blogs to read. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to your next blog.
"...having the shakes while wearing a wife beater and doing diamond push-ups and the splits in the middle of Chess King." "That is if the Titanic was an IROC and it sank in the Passaic River." How do you come up with this stuff? Hysterical!
I hope the next time you fill in for Andy you have more easy-going guests. The Wakiles seem nice on RHoNJ, but the Manzo's mauled and discarded Santa would have been a more entertaining guest tonight.
I loved you Jay!!! you had us cracking up laughing so hard you are better than Andy...sorry Andy we love you too but damn Jay rocked the house tonight as host!
So good to see you on WWHL tonight!!! The show was soooo funny!! :) And we managed to get a little buzzed during the drinking game. Side note - you are in my fave SNL skit with Christopher Walken at a crime scene. Let's just say lots of dry heaving and hilarity inused! ;)
Was it my imagination or was that possibly one of the worst singing auditions EVAH? Ouch! Why does everyone keep pretending this woman has talent? Besides being breathy and sounding strained, she couldn't be flatter if she was run over by a Mack truck. Please, Joe Gorga! Keep her in her "box" in the basement! Love you, Jay! Keep on blogging...you are the best thing about RHONJ...
Thought you were great on WWHL but disappointed in reading your blog because it was the same thing as the show. You usually see things that the rest of us see, but I didn't see the "hands flying" thing as something Theresa did. Melissa speaks with her hands and I would have a hard time not responding back with "flying hands!" I thought it was really funny, actually!
Jay I heard someone laughing and it was me!!!! Thanks havent laughed in years!!! you had me at the 4th sentence!!! Are you a screenplay writer?? you must be!!! Have followed your career funny man!!!
You are too funny. Love all your insights. I am going to disagree with you on Teresa's actions at the party. I got a completely different vibe. I felt like Melissa was doing everything she could to suck up and be center of attention with everyone and push down Teresa at every chance. Its easy to see how she would give Teresa the feeling like she wants everyone who surrounds Teresa but not Teresa herself. She invites everyone to the party but never personally invited her in-laws like she did with everyone else. She's an attention seeker and she cements it more and more in each episode. I mean WHO demands to know why they weren't invited to a cabin retreat after insulting the hosts for years??
It was great to see you on the show! I think you meant to end your blog by saying: God bless youse guys.
I don't think Teresa was giving looks simply because Melissa invited Teresa's friends. It was because Melissa didn't invite Teresa and Joe first. If you notice, Melissa said everyone by name -- but never looked at or said Teresa and Joe. Melissa seems more focused on friend-jacking than really repairing her relationship with Teresa. Melissa is very fame-hungry.
Jay you were awesome on WWHL!!! Love your blog, as always you are right on about the RHOFNJ!! And loved both your comments about Melissa's wench line when singing Amazing Grace and Gorga's cross dressing issues!!! AWESOME!!
Was it just me, or was Melissa rushing to invite everyone BUT Teresa and Joe? Joe had to keep asking when it was and was being ignored. I have the feeling that whole thing was a calculated move to slowly acquire Teresas friends to her camp. Jealousy just oozes out of her. It's disturbing in a "Single White Female" way how much she wants to be Teresa.
Jay, You were hilarious on WWHL! Your blog is so funny and I can't wait for it to come out every week! You are awesome!
Love, love, love your blogs..keep them coming. Lived in NJ for 27 years and recently moved so I watch more to see sights etc. I like Teresa and if was more than obvious that Melissa was taking jabs at Teresa and Joe. She's buried the hatchet but waits until she is at Jacquline's to invite them to a party she is having in days??? It was obvious she was trying to cause problems. She does not want Teresa to reconcile with Joey because then she won't be in the top spotlight. From the looks of who I am guessing she invites to her party, it looks like she invites everyone that could possibly make Teresa and Joe uncomfortalbe. As Jacquline would say F her. And could she PLEEEEZE wear something that fits next week and is not so shiny I feel like i need to adjust the color on my flat screen!
Love the rest of the crew but Joe and Melissa Gorga really need to grow up...and guess what Melissa...you can't sing. It was actually painful to listen to. See, it's like I always say, flaunt a pair of professionally placed C cups and noone listen's to what comes out of your mouth...
BRAVO GIVE THIS MAN HIS OWN SHOW! Once again Jay....you made me laugh so hard I wheezed! Great show...BRAVO I even skipped MOBWIVES reunion for this! You were a gentle with Kathy n Moe Green....like a virgin. Jay...you gotta keep the blogs...I've been a RHO (insert city xcept DC) since show one but Jay you take it another level...a great laugh.
Bravo....Don't let Jay get away!
Okay Jay, I am your newest fan...you were soooo funny tonight and I loved every minute! So I totally agree with you on the Teresa/Melissa battle; I stopped siding with Teresa 2 episodes back though because she does seem like she's changed to me AND she doesn't listen and she never lets anything die....omg it has become so annoying. I can't wait for next week, I will totally be checking out your blog again!
Well, just watched the show so I could read your blog, Catch myself watching and thinking... (to quote Melissa) "Dear Jesus.....what is Jay going to say about this or that! Your blogs need to be longer... I was excited to see 6 pages. yeah! Then they were like half pages? How could you not touch upon the Green Feather Christmas Tree? You did redeem yourself with the "paste eating" comment. Perfecto!
Jay Mohr was hilarious tonight! Though, Andy keeps the crazy guests in line a little better, which is important with these ladies. Once in awhile, it's fun to see thinks get a little outtA control. Yeah, give us Mohr!
You are a smart, talented writer that understands both the cast members of RHONJ and the viewers. My teenage daughter and I enjoy full on "belly laughs" while reading your weekly blog posts. You connect the crazies to our own crazy world.
Watching you tonight on WWHL gave us screams of laughter and unstoppable giggles. My teenage daughter and I bonded watching tonight's episode, watching you host WWHL and reading your blog post. Thanks for the joy.
Did we hear Joe and Melissa Gorga laughing in the audience of WWHL tonight? It would be fun to include a camera shot of the WWHL audience for the viewers. Are tickets open to the public fans of Andy and the Housewives?
Looking forward to viewing your podcast.