Jay Mohr

Jay thinks he may have stepped into RHONJ bizarro world.

on Aug 7, 20110

Melissa takes the high road (figuratively, I think she’s on Route 23, which last time I checked, was at sea level) and calls Teresa to try and get the kids together. Teresa acts like she doesn’t know who is calling and then tells Melissa she had a stomach flu. She also says that she is “munching on everything.” Which is it, Tre? I have been banging on Melissa all season and now you’re making me look bad. She is calling you to mend fences and you’re acting a little snotty towards her. Melissa doesn’t even have to call you anymore, she has more diamonds than Candy Spelling. Two more rings and she’ll be Liberace. I mean they’re both musicians, right? Someone from Bravo get Melissa Gorga some candelabras STAT!
 
It’s obvious that Teresa is very unhappy with, well, everyone. I don’t know how Teresa could ever be unhappy. Joe Giudice can do the splits! At one point she asks how much farther Melissa and Kathy can get up each other’s asses. Probably not that much, but it really depends if Richie is going to let them use any of the weird S and M toys he brought to the Gorga’s house on Thanksgiving. If he does, I’ll guess they are working with about an extra foot and a half.
    
Albert Manzo is getting ready for work. He is in a bathrobe shaving with a straight razor. That is about as O.G. as you can get. Who is this guy, Sweeney Todd? Who uses a straight razor when it isn’t 1849? I hope after Albert got done shaving, he stomped out the campfire, got on his horse and lead his posse into town to see the marshal.
 

175 comments
MamaBrown
MamaBrown

I just want to say that I LOVE JAY MOHR!!! Your blog commentary of this show is hillarious.

diane rainey
diane rainey

jay you are brilliant in your comments and so funny. i can't believe i watch this show or any Bravo crap . I need to go to detox and get this out of my system. Broke my foot badly this summer and watched far too much tv.THis killed the pain i was feeling and led me into many naps. I'm begin to remind myself of friends who used to talk about Erica Kane on "all my children" like she was real..wait a minute these nuts on RHONJ are real!!! . I live within 5 mi rom Franklin lakes and Towaco. I've been to a wedding at the Brownstone, nice place.( in a rough town Paterson)....not the epicenter of fine catering for NJ tho. and rthe Kim' 'Posche is tiny and in in dumpy strip mill in wayne next to a cheessteak joint. OMG. NEWFLASH-Most people in NJ dont look, talk or act like the Manzos, Guidices Wakiles Gorgas et al. Guess they are all ON DISPLAY...Melissa Gorga cant sing no matter what "souldiggahs" say.

lorio
lorio

As usual, you are spot on!!

P.S. I think (hope) the problem with Teresa and Joe G. is their personal issues they are going through. When you have personal problems to deal with, especially money problems, you get really bitter.

stephk
stephk

Your blogs are so funny! I love that you watch all the housewives. Keep blogging, we'll be laughing :)

Lauren P.
Lauren P.

You are a comedic GENIUS! I am still laughing from reading your blogs. Please let me know when you will be touring in N.J. so I can get tickets. Thanks for making me crack up during work today!!!

Lauren P.
Lauren P.

I just finished reading all of your blogs for this season of RHONJ...I was hysterical laughing!!! You are a comedic genius, and so witty!!! Please let me know when you will be in N.J. so I can get tickets to see you! btw...I loved you in Jerry McGuire! Can't wait to read next weeks blog. Every time you mention Joe Gorga or Ashley I crack up. Thanks!

teamtree
teamtree

Love you and your blogs.But be nice to

derby gal
derby gal

You have the BEST blog! Love it..Hope you always blog on this show.You're funny, but you get the message across. Don't go anywhere.

pomona1
pomona1

Jay, My favorite saying from you G to the ia. I acn't stop laughing when i read that.

ASpeciale
ASpeciale

EVERYONE DOWNLOAD JAYS PODCAST!!! Tmrw night is episode 6!!!!

onetruth
onetruth

Jay, I would have agreed with your assessment of Teresa but I watched Andy's show "Watch what happens live", and saw that Danielle has some connection to Melissa. This cannot mean anything good. I am troubled when people make comments about Teresa and Joe in front of Melissa and Kathy and they laugh and or continue the conversation. Were I in that situation, I would explain that they are my family and I do not wish to hear about any issues they have with them and I would excuse myself. I would also refreain fron further contact with them and certainly would not be inviting them to my house!!! Melissa did something with Danielle because she felt cut out of the show and her intention continues to involve the destruction of Teresa and the elevation of herself.

Lil' J
Lil' J

Love this blog!! You need to do a guest spot on RHONJ as a therapist :)

Amber31
Amber31

HA HA HA I love your blog Jay! I'm a huuuge blogger and YOU are on my Top 3 List. ;) I agree with you. I'm beginning to like Melissa too. If she'd lose the pop star thing, I'd love her.

Rarebutwelldone
Rarebutwelldone

LOL - I don't know why you like any of these people - but your blog is funny as hell - never liked Teresa and Caroline thinks she is the God Mother of good advice - she was disloyal to Teresa and friendship should come first- feel like we are all being manipulated - over the housewvies - was the last episode for me.

KD
KD

So many funny moments and observations, as always, Jay! While I agree that Melissa was trying and Teresa was not having it, I did think it was crappy for Melissa to gossip to Kathy about Teresa--when she keeps trying to act so invested in getting them to make up. Reminding Kathy of ways that Teresa sucks is not conducive to that process.

Best exchange of the night:

Teresa (to her bickering girls in the car): I'm gonna send you all away.

Gia (hopefully): To different places?

Best line ever!

mvill
mvill

Jay - you are awesome and so hilarious!!!! I have never laughed so hard in my life as when I have read these recaps - that is until I checked out your podcasts which are my new favorites. I have listened to them over and over and each time they get funnier. You are such a talented storyteller - you need to put out more stuff. I would LOVE to hear your take on the other Real Housewives seasons, you say what everyone is thinking and add the most amazingly funny insight. Bravo!

NikkiPack
NikkiPack

Jay you are the best. I laugh out loud every time i read your blogs! You are spot on all the time.

angiep
angiep

Love you Jay! You always hit it right on. As for Teresa- I just think she had terrible pms. She seemed happy on the after show. And who told Carolyn she is Dr. Phil and Dr. Ruth?

Louise housevife in Bountiful, Utah
Louise housevife in Bountiful, Utah

So have none of none of you been listening? They called her husband, "garbage". I'm not from Jersey or Italian, but I realize that's an unforgivable offense. And speaking of unforgivable offenses what about that cat costume Melissa wore.

SMad
SMad

You are right on mark with Teresa. I was waiting to see when you would take the blinders off and notice it! Teresa needs to learn a lesson from Jill Zarin from NYC housewives! True friends and family forgive if the REALLY love each other! Also, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give you take on Ashley because they are COMPLETELY on the mark and CRACKS me up to no end!

audles
audles

Love the blogs, Love the HWNJ!, love all of it! But what is the name of the Italian ballroom music they played of the first episode this season?? Please print this info for the people that love dancing ballroom music????

Thank You Jay

JDCNPL6
JDCNPL6

You need to cut Theresa some slack.. I'd be irked too if I saw my sister-in-law, and cousin sit there like bumps on a log when strangers or people outside of the family talked S.. about me. Like Kim G. and strangers at the fashion show, parties, etc. You'd think they'd stick up for their own family despite their differences. And Kathy talking about Theresa's dad? I'm sure there's enough crap to go around but i don't feel comfortable with Melissa and Kathy team backtalking Theresa all the time and at the same time act like "its all about family".. At least Theresa is authentic.. I'd have a nasty attitude too if I was going through what she is. They don't seem too concerned about her situation-- i'm sure it is a heavy burden on Joe Guidice hence his lovely personality this season. Even though I do like their families (esp. Kathy's kids), it seems like Melissa and Kathy are all about selling themselves and their new businesses at the expense of bringing down Theresa.

holy cannoli
holy cannoli

Ohhh Jay, don't tell me you have gone over to the dark side?

Remember it was Teresas bother Joey, his wife Melissa and cousin Kathy that came on the show to hurt her and disrespect her parents. Family should never ever do that..Think about that !

dorito
dorito

oh0h U PHONED THAT ONE IN...CAN'T FOOL ME JAY the others were a riot tho'

Sylvia77584
Sylvia77584

Too funny! Your blog is the best, and like all the other comments say please become a blogger for all housewives! Love love lOve it!!!

NJHWlover
NJHWlover

Oh boy Jay! Love your blog. Do not like that you are softening up with Melissa. During the filming....Are you forgetting that Teresa is scared of losing everything? Family & Home? She is busting her butt writing another cookbook to provide for her family. shame shame Jay. what about the Danielle tweet? hmmm

RaisingKidsInBigD
RaisingKidsInBigD

Jay you make the show worth watching these days. I laugh so hard that I cry reading your blog. Loved your podcast too except for the plugs and commercials. I'm a little disappointed you suddenly don't see through Melissa and Kathy. You are obviously a smart guy. I don't really feel like I'm Team anyone, but I do not BS when I see it and I see it with those two. This isn't about family, it's about those two wanting a piece of the BRAVO fame and fortune pie. Whatever. Here's my question. I live in the south (no chicken fried accent like the idiots that call into the show, college educated) and we've had a large influx of people from the north due to the economy. One theme that keeps coming up that I've noticed on the show too is being fake vs. telling it like it is. I'm so tired of hearing that phrase! In the south, if you are "raised right" as they say your mother teaches you above all else if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. People from the north tend to tell us southerners that's being fake where myself and other southern friends tend to refer to telling it like it is as being rude. If it's not your business, you keep your mouth shut. What is your take on that? Obviously you make a living out of making jokes about other people, but for the every day individual where's the line or is there one?

Brynn's Mom
Brynn's Mom

Great blog!! I was hoping you would comment about the wildly awkward exchange between Richie and Joe Guidice. I couldn't tell if those two needed to get a room or a restraining order.

CarriejWA
CarriejWA

And YES to the above..HAVE JAY ON THE REUNION!!!

CarriejWA
CarriejWA

I have a feeling that Teresa can't let go of something that Melissa did to her in the past that has to do with Danielle S. I dont blame her...

frankiepapa
frankiepapa

I apologize if this was brought up before but to me the absolute best line of the night came from Theresa....."Who does she think she is Beyonce?"...when Melissa told her she was going to be a singer!!

Saverino
Saverino

I love your blog! You must do ALL the housewife shows...please, pretty please!

Joeylover
Joeylover

Jay, nothing about Caroline's NYE hair? Seriously? I can't believe it! Makes me a little bit sad but the Verona Car Wash reference more than made up for it. Love you; meet you at the Tick Tock for fries and gravy when you're in town!

bethanyfan
bethanyfan

I dont like any of them except T she isthe only real one I hope she gets her own show and to heck with the rest of them ..loyalty loyalty they have none except T

desimommy
desimommy

We are watching the DOWN fall of Teresa Show...and her sister-in-law is dripping in diamonds while she's in bankruptcy court..Teresa and her parents cannot handle it..That's why they are so mean to Melissa...instead of being happy their SON/BROTHER is doing so well. and maybe give them some advice on self restraint in times of wealth so history doesnt repeat in the same family with finances.

Danielle is laughing all the way from LA.

Donna D.
Donna D.

Love the mention of Verona even if it is for the Carwash! You've got to mention your hometown more! You are right on with Teresa. I was saying how I can't stand her anymore and my daughter said "Why do you watch it then?" It's a drug I guess. She is the friend you had growing up that she could be everybody's friend but YOU could only be HER friend! So high school!

crisco
crisco

I had a hard time closing my mouth when Milania said (to her Father) "give me pizza you 'ol troll"! OMG, it was funny but shocking at the same time! When Danielle sent Theresa over the brink, she hasn't recovered from that yet, and it's sad to see her so miserable and delusional.

Oh JAY
Oh JAY

I'm waiting for the day when of the husbands deck you for talking crap on their wives.

Oh JAY
Oh JAY

Oh Jay, Anyday, now you can start being a comedian as you were originally supposed to do. Put a funny spin on your blog. You're rude, inconsiderate and can't wait til the tables get turned.

Corona Mom
Corona Mom

Jay I loved your blog this week, too funny! Surprised you didn't remark about Joe grabbing Teresa's boobs at midnight! That guy is just so gross!

Darla Flow
Darla Flow

For those of you who commented negatively on Melissa telling Kathy what Teresa said - she stood there & took all the barbs Teresa was sending her & didn't say anything back - why is she wrong for telling the truth to Kathy? Ok maybe she didn't have to use the voice but she shouldn't be blamed for letting Kathy know how her day went...it was just a playdate. Now you can't even tell people about your day without someone saying your gossiping or talking badly about someone else!

chelly5272
chelly5272

I think Teresa's time on the show should come to an end. It's apparent her life sucks right now since both her & her husband have become so miserable so maybe she should take a break and work on getting her life back in order. I loved Teresa before but now can't stand her. You can only watch someone that angry for so long before it gets ridiculous. And everyone out there that is still Team Teresa need to actually watch the show and see the person she's become.

ambIN
ambIN

Jay- You are so spot on re the Theresa & Melissa. Theresa may flip tables but I am about to flip to Team Melissa! Theresa, girl, you better get straight!

Gessie
Gessie

I see that another one of Melissa Gorga's undiscovered gifts is acting. Are you sure your love of all things Joey Gorga is now starting to include his wife. It is through your lust for him that this sympathy for the devil is incurring.

LMAO
LMAO

Tooooooo funny I read the whole thing and wanted more!!! AMAZING!!!

Viewer R77B
Viewer R77B

Jay, I like your assessment of the episode...just don't agree totally, Teresa is the one who is down to earth and show's her true feelings. She's not a phoney...I noticed if she does act happy, Caroline and Jacquline criticize her and say she's in denial or doesn't seem to see what's happening in her life...What does everybody want from her? I think Melissa and Kathy are both phoney's...Melissa can't waite to go running back to Kathy and tell her every word Teresa says...So if Melissa what's them to get along again, why be such a sneek. Melissa likes to show all her stuff in front of Teresa, to me at a time like now for Teresa it's not so nice of Melissa...It's nice to have and I do but I would never do that if I really cared. Hay I was a good customer of their's, how come I was not invited to any of their New Year's Eve party's?... Caroline. Now she told a lie, she invited Kathy to start drama and knowingly hurt Teresa.I was proud of Teresa, she ignored her. Of course Caroline has all the answer's in her world. You are very funny Jay and would love to see you sit in for Andy again...Take care!

Jen B
Jen B

Jay, great blog! I agree with everyone else that you should continue blogging on the RHOBH. Of course all of these women are on here for fame but with Teresa we are watching the bitterness of her downfall from the easy life. Grow up Teresa. Or maybe she's just upset cause she's married to an "old troll"?