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Jay Mohr

Never Hold a Grudge

Jay thinks he may have stepped into RHONJ bizarro world.

Aug 7, 2011

At Melissa’s house, things are a little calmer and happier. Gino is asleep on a bean bag chair. It looks like he’s in college. Melissa explains to Kathy how mean Teresa was being. I have to give Melissa credit. I made fun of her a lot all season, but in this episode she came off looking great to me. Teresa kept slicing and dicing her like a Ginzu knife commercial, and Melissa just kept pressing forward trying to make things work. MAZEL. Melissa explains to Kathy that when it came to Teresa putting a picture of Joey and Melissa in Teresa’s cookbook, Teresa said, “If I really wanted to be mean I would have shown everyone what you used to look like!” Suddenly the editors cut away to an old photo and my jaw hit the floor. Melissa used to be a really cute little Pomeranian. There’s some pretty lady holding her in her arms in the picture. On a side note: Melissa is a horrible impressionist. Leave the impressions to me, Melissa, because your Teresa imitation sounds like Urkel.
 
Over at the Brownstone, the New Year’s Eve party is under way. People are laughing and having a great time (seems to be a recurring theme while around the Manzos). There is an ice sculpture that says “2011.” The Real Housewives of New Jersey has more ice sculptures than the winter Olympics (that doesn’t really make any sense, I think I have run out of analogies). Teresa shows up wearing a SMOKING hot dress. The dress is “bangin’” but her attitude is “bummer.” She really seems incapable of letting any water run under the bridge and just moving on with life. I don’t get it. She’s mad at everyone. She’s even mad at Caroline for inviting Kathy even though IT’S CAROLINE’S PARTY. To Kathy’s credit, she shows a tremendous amount of class by showing up at the Brownstone with fresh baked cookies for Caroline. Caroline graciously accepts them and then right in front of Teresa, does not throw them in the trash.


Next:
A Tale of Three Cities
A Tale of Three Cities

Jay Mohr wants to be a Gorga kid next Christmas.

August 7, 2011 The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 3 / Episode 11 / Jay Mohr
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When Teresa is ready to forgive, she will. Seems like she's put up with a lot of crap from Melissa and Kathy. Melissa is so fake, I don't believe anything she says. I'm surprised you didn't mention Kathy's husband's rude comments about Teresa. Funny how things have changed in 'a few short weeks'.

What would you do if someone used their family feud with you as a way of getting on tv? I must not be as good a person as you, because I would not be so forgiving either.

Spot on, once again, Jay! Teresa is making an ass of herself. The Manzos are having a hard time with Teresa on this one even though she is their girl. Jerry was great in the clubhouse trying to reason with her, to no avail. The Guidice adults are behaving like Milania and it looks worse on them because they are grown.

Your blog as always is spot on!!! And though there are many sentiments to bring up, right now the one that I must re-state is "they are all going to drive right by her in their IROCs." absolutely fitting and hilarious :)

I just get the feeling that Kathy has really done some things that the camera is not showing.....I mean I love Teresa but she is crazy...but that crazy? There's more that has gone on in this group that Tre is not letting go of....just saying.

Can you just NOT WAIT for next week when Ashley's dad comes for a visit?!

YOU CRACK ME UP! I wish you blogged for all of the Housewives shows!

Teresa is so busy trying to prove to everyone that Melissa and Kathy are the bad people when in reality it's making her look evil! So sad!

YOU CRACK ME UP! I wish you blogged for all of the Housewives shows!

Perfection as always, Jay! Love the way you lay it right out there.

Teresa has EVERY reason to be mad at everyone. They've bad mouthed her all season and then she's just supposed to 'click a switch' and get over it? It takes time...

Jay

Teresa has the right to be mad. The bottom line is that Melissa & Joe are on this show because they agreed to air out the family dirty laundry in order to be on tv and for Melissa to have a singing career. If they want Teresa to extend a olive branch then they should publically apoligize for putting their family through hell.

Agree that Teresa is stubborn and snarky. But....I don't think Melissa is being genuine either. It seems like she can't wait to get together with Kathy to trash Teresa. If she really wanted to put it behind her, she wouldn't do that.

To be honest, I felt kind of bad for Teresa. She is putting some effort into seeing Melissa and Melissa keeps bringing up Teresa's relationship with Kathy even though Teresa clearly doesn't want to discuss it. Then the New Year's Party comes up and all of the ladies are all over Teresa about Kathy. Why can't they just let her enjoy the party?

so funny! and so true about switching to the gorga side! although i still love tre and joe but she needs to let it ALL go.

I agree with you Jay, that Melissa should not havve brought up Kathy, it's none of her business.

You have Theresa pinned down to a T, I wish she would listen to everyone before it's to late!!

I wouldn't hire ashley to do anything other than take a nap. FANTASTIC

Yeah Jay...

Its about time someone spoke the truth about Teresa and it was actually printed...

Melissa is really trying with everything she has and Teresa never ever has anything nice to say to her or about her....

Makes me wonder how the fight started....at first I thought that Melissa was at fault now I wonder...

I enjoy your blogs so much....I wish you could write about all the housewives shows...

Love your blog! I would have to agree, it is too hard to watch Teresa this episode! She needs to forgive or leave everyone alone!!

Wow, I usually agree with everything that you say in your blogs, but you seem to miss Melissa trashing Teresa to Kathy while getting ready for the party. And the fact that Caroline is a TRAITOR! There was no reason for her to invite anyone in Teresa's family except that it makes for more drama for bravo. Melissa and Kathy should never have been brought on this show. Thank you so much Bravo for ruining RHONJ for me.

Jay, you are hilarious and I love your blog each week.....!!! I think you are being hard on Teresa. It would be hard to forgive your own family for coming on the show with the sole purpose of trashing you. Melissa may have appeared slightly more civil this week, but she still comes off fake. And don't be so hard on the guidice girls!! Just wait until the Gorga kids get older .....you think Antonia won't pick up mommy's attitude ??

Great recap! I agree completely...starting to warm up to Melissa, but I really like the tight bond the Waikilis have! And is it just me or is Joe gorga being a good boy lately?

Still Team Teresa!! Not as funny this time!!

OK.....I know you're trying to lay off Ashley but how do you completely ignore the "when I'm an artist I won't have clients...it'll be about my vision." Seriously, seriously, seriously.

Jackie, I'm grown and available for adoption. I'd appreciate all you do as a parent.

Just wanted to clarify that Teresa wasn't telling Melissa that she was sick that day. She was saying that she and the rest of the family was sick on Christmas Day, fyi. She wasn't lying to Melissa about getting together for a playdate.

Love your hilarious blog Jay! And I love my own sister-in-law who introduced me to it. Big shout out to ya Nucee!

You are the best! You always make me laugh out loud, please don't ever stop blogging.

I completely agree with you, Jay. Melissa and Kathy are coming off as more classy and family-oriented than Teresa. Tre needs to get over herself, forgive, and enjoy life. But the biting remarks behind one another's backs is something they all need to work on.

Amen Jay Mohr! All really well said! I just hope Teresa listens becasue she is rally coming across poorly... Teresa take a huge hint- lot of people make the same suggestions-

I agree with J.J. about the tides turning against Teresa and in favor of Melissa. However, my wife is a a Teresa Loyalist and thinks its Bravo editing. Teresa had a small contract issue with Bravo and my wife thinks Bravo is getting Teresa back.

Also, the star of the show is Rich. He's more Italian than either Joe. Where was Rosie this week?

Agreed! And love love live your blog by the way. Why won't everyone, especially Melissa leave Theresa alone about making up with Cathy. I feel like they are both grown women and to be honest Cathy is a bit of a martyr. Seems like she knew exactly what she was doing at the fashion show and not only choose sides in the battle but then went on to attack Theresa. I'd be pissed too. I think it was also clear that Theresa is pissed and a wee bit jealous that her brother and sister in law have become so chummy with Cathy. I do think Jealousy lies at the heart of all this anger Theresa has, and not in a bad way, more in like a sad hurt way.

Oh my gosh, the Pomeranian line--LMAO. You néed to put Minneapolis on your schedule. I will drop everything to see you. Still laughing.........

Loving it JAy! keep it coming

Oh Jay, you hit the nail on the head. Love, love, love your blog.

LOVE your blog & look forward to reading it as much as I like watching the show!!! Hilarious!

Your blog is my favorite. I agree with you for the most part about the character change in Melissa...although you forgot to point out that after weeks of being so amped about Baby Jesus' birthday, she cursed his name in her interview. I guess Jesus is cool with her potty mouth since she threw him a super sweet 72nd birthday party that made P-Diddy's white party look like a backyard picnic. Also, the cute little Gorga kid was passed out on the bean bag chair cause he was sick. He laid there like slug while momma Gorga got her makeup professionally done. She could of at least changed him into jammies and tucked him into bed.

It is strange how the roles have flipped! However, while Teresa is busy being angry at the world and really does need to drop the grudges, we all should keep in mind all of the things that is going on with her financially. She came very close to losing it all and is keeping things together by a fine string. Unfortunately the stress of that seems to be misdirected.

Jay- Love the post, as always! I noticed on twitter Danielle made some interesting tweets about Melissa trying to get back at Teresa by begging Danielle to be on the show?? Apparently Melissa haddirt on Teresa...now that is pretty low...i wouldnt pick sides just yet...

You took the thoughts out of my head, I have to agree with basicly everything you have said especially about Theresa! I have been watching since the 1st season and used to like her, she did not seem so miserable and mean, this season I dread her interviews. I try to watch on my dvr and skip her parts when I can. Have a great week and keep enjoying life everyone, maybe one day Theresa will start also!

You're blogs are awesome! Every week I get all giddy inside just anticipating what your comments will be. So truthful, real, and highlarious! I wonder if these ladies ever take your advice. In your next life you shall return as a pretty Pomeranian.

Youre to funny. I too noticed the kids already looked comfortably dressed for a play date.I'm starting to interpret Milania's lashing out as a way of telling her Mom enough with the show dress's and hair bows. She's a ruff and tumble kid she needs to be in sports as soon as she's old enough. Not dancing, or modeling. But soccer, little league (with the boys) Milania would do Joe proud. This little girls nickname should be Le-tigre. Yes Tere did have that table flipping look. But did you notice the Gorga dining table? Maybe theres a reason Mel set Tere there in the first place. It must have taken a crane to get that piece in the house. Joe who does the splits couldnt make that piece budge. Your blogs are most appreciated.

Your NJ references friggin crack me up. I get every one of them, even the Barbizon one. Thanks for bringing me back while I'm in NH. I feel like I'm at 'home' when I read your blog.

Jay, you hit the nail right on the head. Teresa needs a little anger management course to help her realize that the world revolves around the sun - not her!

Love this blog, actually made me laugh out loud, best line was about only hiring Ashley to take a nap!! Thank you so for making a early Monday morning fun!

Jay!! What can I say HILARIOUS again :)

omg!!! Hilarious!! I love your blogs . Are you the host for the reunion show? I hope so!!

Jay, I have come to count on you to start my week off with a laugh. This week was a downer with Theresa so a laugh was definately needed.

Brilliant blog as usual, Jay. I'm not letting you off the hook for blogging on episode 9....we were 'promised' you'd blog. Please do it...can't get enough!