Jay Mohr

Jay thinks he may have stepped into RHONJ bizarro world.

on Aug 7, 2011

At Melissa’s house, things are a little calmer and happier. Gino is asleep on a bean bag chair. It looks like he’s in college. Melissa explains to Kathy how mean Teresa was being. I have to give Melissa credit. I made fun of her a lot all season, but in this episode she came off looking great to me. Teresa kept slicing and dicing her like a Ginzu knife commercial, and Melissa just kept pressing forward trying to make things work. MAZEL. Melissa explains to Kathy that when it came to Teresa putting a picture of Joey and Melissa in Teresa’s cookbook, Teresa said, “If I really wanted to be mean I would have shown everyone what you used to look like!” Suddenly the editors cut away to an old photo and my jaw hit the floor. Melissa used to be a really cute little Pomeranian. There’s some pretty lady holding her in her arms in the picture. On a side note: Melissa is a horrible impressionist. Leave the impressions to me, Melissa, because your Teresa imitation sounds like Urkel.
Over at the Brownstone, the New Year’s Eve party is under way. People are laughing and having a great time (seems to be a recurring theme while around the Manzos). There is an ice sculpture that says “2011.” The Real Housewives of New Jersey has more ice sculptures than the winter Olympics (that doesn’t really make any sense, I think I have run out of analogies). Teresa shows up wearing a SMOKING hot dress. The dress is “bangin’” but her attitude is “bummer.” She really seems incapable of letting any water run under the bridge and just moving on with life. I don’t get it. She’s mad at everyone. She’s even mad at Caroline for inviting Kathy even though IT’S CAROLINE’S PARTY. To Kathy’s credit, she shows a tremendous amount of class by showing up at the Brownstone with fresh baked cookies for Caroline. Caroline graciously accepts them and then right in front of Teresa, does not throw them in the trash.