Caroline's Teresa migraine is so bad that she can't even go out on the boat ride with the rest of the gang. Something about this group of people being in the middle of the ocean seems like a horrible, horrible idea. Gilligan's Island started with a boat ride, and those people all liked each other. Regardless of my trepidations, the gang starts oiling up and get ready to hit the seas.
Once on board, Albie has come up with a drinking game for third graders. He has called it "La Cucaracha." In this drinking game, there is a plastic cockroach that shimmies it's way across the boat's deck and whomever it touches has to take a shot. When I was drinking, we had a much more fun drinking game. It was called, "Hey! Let's all take a couple shots!" Why bring plastic roaches into the festivities? Just drink until you get warm and fuzzy and puke into your hat.
During the boat ride, Teresa takes the uncomfortable level up a notch by leaving Richie hanging on a high five. Here's a sentence I never thought I would write again. "Teresa is angry that Richie is talking about Joe's cock." Teresa wants everyone on board to know that Joe Giudice has a big penis. She says that there is proof because she has four kids. Someone should explain anatomy to Teresa. Is that what birth control has degenerated to in New Jersey? "You can't get pregnant if the man has a small penis." Teresa, I have two kids, and I am hung like a light switch. Hell, people get pregnant using turkey basters and stirrups with potholders on them. (Isn't it amazing that as far as we have come in medicine, the OBGYN still uses freaking potholders to keep women's feet warm during a visit?!)
The boat drops anchor and every one decides to go for a swim. Greg is first in and does a splendid, super hot cannon ball into the blue water. When he stands up, we see that the water is only three feet deep. This immediately gave me chills. If Greg dove, he would have been paralyzed, and I would have had to nurse him back to health for the rest of our lives together. I would have done so happily and proudly.
Jay, You are brilliant.......I have tears in my eyes everytime you post! you are spot on my funny friend......... Those of you that made a comment about North Carolina, get a life!!!!!!! In the words of Theresa, "IT WAS A JOKE"!!!!!!! I doubt Jay could ever be a mean spirited person, ignorant or rude. He is a comedian, making people laugh and on top of his game!!!!!! So back off North Carolina and stop taking life so seriously....... If he can get this woman to cry until her eyes tear then kudos to him for a job well done......he is making fun of the people from his home state, that in itself is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!Love Gregg!!!!!!!Love you Jay......keep it coming!
Jay, how I love your Blog, I just started reading it and wish I had checked it out when I saw how great you were as a stand in for Andy. I thought Andy might even replace himself and his ridiculous fillers with you and your actual entertainment(Sorry, Andy) Wish I had you right here watching with me because I can see why this is your favorite show - Nothing could give a comedian more to work with than an hour of this.
Jay, I think you are hysterical and have loved all your posts, but that comment about North Carolina and "hillbillys" and meth, etc. was unwarranted and unkind.
In fact, Raleigh, NC was just named # 1 place in America to live by Business Week. (http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/09/25/1515993/raleigh-deserves-its-praise.html) Growing up in the mountains of NC afforded me the opportunity to observe "hillbillys." These are honest, hardworking people with deep ties to the Appalachian culture and do not deserve to be made fun of, nor have stereotypes perpetuated.
I love your blog! You have me laughing all the time!
Please note that Albert did NOT pee at the side of the road. He is the only one of those NJ boys who actually has some class. Thank God!
Jay I usually love your blog but the comment about NC was inaccurate and hurtful, in fact, if that's how you and the rest of NJ feel then STOP MOVING DOWN HERE! We don't want ya!
Oh Jay!!!!! Every recap is funnier than the last one. This one made me laugh so hard. Love your podcast and love these blogs.
i love your blogs about the real housewives!!! do it for beverly hill to please! and i hope bravo gives you a therapy show! you would be so helpful to the ladies!
Jay---Jay---Jay----Oh, my!! I came to this site to see why RHONJ has not been on lately, and I came across your blog. Read the first one. Then the second, third, fourth, etc. And then it happened. I am sitting here reading all your comments and howling with laughter, while tears course down my cheeks. And suddenly, I have a puddle in my chair. I wanted to die---I was sure I was just another little old (?) lady from Florida with an overactive bladder!! Luckily, I started reading all the comments re: your blog and thank God, I'm not the only one with drippy drawers. I have always checked the Leno, Fallon, etc listings to see when you would be on, because you have the most incredible wit. And, I love it when you are on with Andy Cohen. I agree with all the others---you should definitely be at the Reunion show---at least to dial down the tension a notch or two. Keep up the great comments, i am definitely hooked.
I had the same exact thought when Greg jumped off the boat into the water...thank god he didn't dive! Great blog. Glad I "saved it" for today, why is the rhonj not on this Sunday?
Jay.........you are the man! I'm right there with you on Greg, I want to marry him (or you, whichever comes first). I think next season Greg is going to replace Melissa as Joe's housewife.
You are absolutely hysterical. I love your blog, and will re-watch the episode every single time after I've read it to watch special scenes that I missed. Tennessee is the meth capital of the world. Walk around the Memphis area or East Tennessee sometime. What will you find? A lot of people with no teeth, and article after article in the paper about the latest meth lab explosion. It's a real hoot here in Tennessee.
I hope you continue to blog. You are a riot!
Never posted before, but I had to to say.....these Jay Mohr posts make me laugh out loud literally. I enjoy watching the show when I can, but these recaps by him I CANT MISS! Love them! Do one for every show!!!!
Love the blog, but if you think that comment from Kathy was innocent you clearly know Jack about women.
People, Jay didn't cave on the Melissa "thing." Don't you see Jay is making FUN of her when he writes, "Joey Gorga and his singer/songwriter/entertainer/recording artist/honorary Souldigga wife, Melissa Gorga. Geesh.......... LOL! Jay you are hysterical! But, Gregg is an ass and you got it wrong with Kathy. She knows her constant... slight digs towards Teresa only create a warfare... and then Kathy always plays the victim.. Frankly, I am so sick of Kathy and Melissa.
You missed Caroline, when she was sick, telling Al to go on the boat, ever the great mom says "Make sure the kids have sun screen". Love that as bad as she felt she still looked out for her grown kids!
Jay great blog. Some of these comments from viewers make me embarassed to watch the show because I may have too much brain power here. Some of these people sound like the Tvo Jerry Springer daily!. Jokes are jokes people. If you watch this how and take it seriously, then you have a problem. Greg is funny and great comic relief. If you looking for something other than entertainment from this show (or Jays blog) then try reading a self help book, or watching A&E or the Biography channel. Shut up, be entertained or don't watch (or read), remember this is your choice to read the blogs and watch the show, its not mandatory. I don't like Teresa or Joe I think they are liars and wannabes. But I like everyone else, so I will watch to see the others until Teresa and her husband become unbareable, and then I will click through the other 500 tv channels available and watch something else.
Great blog again - I only read a few of the comments because they are odd this week. ?!?! Really - I'm starting to wonder if some members of the show (or friends of members) are just trying to take you down. Yours is the only blog I read here, and I look forward to it. Thanks!
Why is everyone talking about Greg? He's so insignificant onthe show. I don't like or dislike him. I just can't figure out why a gay guy would want to hang out and live with two straight friends, unless one of the Manzo boys is not straight. I'm just saying. On the same note, how many 20- something guys hang out with their parents all the time. I think Chris and Albie are adorable but they have to cut the strings. I love your hillbilly comment. Jersey comes to the boondocks!
Jay, Love your blogs, laugh all the way through them, love your perspective on things. Bravo should hire you to blog all of their shows. Great humor.
Jay...You are absolutely hilarious! Next time you make a "hillbilly" joke, use Kentucky...we have a better sense of humor than those from South Carolina. I am also a Greg fan - why would someone say he is a jerk? I don't get it...he is funny! :)
Luv it. I'm not from anywhere near NC, but I've been there and do find your comment about the meth cooking spot on!
The rest of the blog was equally spot on and with a delightful, over-flowing abundance of humor.
God bless Jay. ;)
To me something about Greg is single white female - the Remake... I mean, I remember the the Manzo daughter was fighting with her brothers about wanting to spend more time, and he was there in the midst as if he should have a say. Then this episode, he's making it his business to add commentary to Teresa' conflict with HER family.I AM NOT A TERESA FAN. But i am bothered by the fact that this Greg guy always puts his business in other families' business. He seems very cold hearted, and menacing. Something about him i dont trust. And Melissa, darling, he is a little to obsessed. He wants to be you. Gurl, you betta watch out. Thats all i'm saying.
I laughed until I had tears reading your blog. Funny funny stuff. People who are getting all worked up about your 'man crush' on Greg...I think it's all with a little tongue in cheek (if you know what I mean), right?
Laugh Laugh Laugh!!! Week after week, we can't wait here at the office until you blog is posted, we all gather around and read every paragraph to re analize and laugh some more! Go Jay Go, love it!
Jay, I love your blogs- I wait patiently every Monday for them! I am born and raised in North Carolina- I have to say at first i was taken back by your comment however not being a country hic- and looking around I begin to laugh. So funny and thank you so much for the laughs- I hope you are at the reunion show!
OMG, I love your blog! I am such a goof laughing out loud by myself reading them. Pls keep at it afterthis season RHONJ is over. Classic!
Jay ,I start giggling like a junior high girl( I am 55 yrs old) even before I read your blog. I just know I will be throughly amused & my cheecks hurt from laughing at your brillant observations on those Jersey girls. Can't wait to see you on the reunion show.
Jay, I was a fan of you and this blog, but no more. Your comment about the North Carolina Mountains was rude and uncalled for. I guess, though, if you are from a state represented by Melissa, Teresa, Snookie, etc. you would feel the need to be ugly about a more beautiful state. As a previous poster said, "Bless your heart."
TEAM JAY. FOREVER AND EVER.
And maybe Greg is part of the family and we just don't know the details. You nasty homophobes need to lay off. Isn't there a Tea Bagger event you're missing?
Jay, I was a fan of you and this blog but no more. Your snarky comment about the North Carolina mountains showed your ignorance and was completely uncalled for. I guess when your state is so wonderfully represented by Melissa, Teresa, and Snooki, etc. it makes you bitter towards more beautiful areas. As a previous poster said, "Bless you heart!"
I see my post didn't make it the first time. Greg belongs on the A-List New York, not RHONJ!!!! Am really starting not to like Caroline's family except for Albert, Sr.
Wow. I'm from North Carolina - do not live in a double wide, do not use meth, nor considered a hillbilly. ouch
Jay, you need new material. You are way too biased and bringing that moron greggy into your embrace is just......ew.