After the photo shoot, the Gorga/Giudice tribes sit down for an amazing looking meal. Joe Giudice gives a toast where he makes a joke that his mother-in-law has had a lot of plastic surgery. Mother-in-law jokes? What is this a 1979 episode of The Tonight Show? Joey Gorga also gave a toast. I don't want to say that Joey Gorga's toast was too long, but at one point they cut to little Joey combing his hair with bread…and that was his third slice!
In the final act of our beloved show, the recipes hit the fan. Teresa's cookbook comes out, and it causes a ton of trouble. You would have thought Kitty Kelly put out a book about the Scientologists. How bad could it be? What could Teresa have written that is so bad? It's a cookbook. Is she naming ingredientzes and putting poison in the cumin? As I kept watching, I got quite a surprise. Leave it to Teresa to somehow insult people in a freaking cookbook. Last time I checked, cookbooks are filled with recipes, right? Usually when you write a cookbook, there isn't a lot of room left over to take pot shots at friends and loved ones. I don't recall Sandra Lee ever printing the recipe for pumpkin scones and then putting an extra part about how Andrew Cuomo farts when he pees. But Teresa thought ahead. She knew that there wouldn't be room for insults in between all of those Fabulicious recipes. That's why she put the insults in the introduction. Yeah!
It's so bad that Melissa won't even show it to Joey. If Melissa and her sisters don't want your kind of trouble, you must be cookin' up a whole new level of trouble. Melissa says in her interview that she doesn't want to be in the middle of the triangle between Teresa and her brother. Melissa, that's not a triangle. When it's just two people it's a straight line. Then Melissa says she has "seed" her way out of it. I swear to you, I rewound the show like fifty times. The woman that brought us "wench like me" has now shown us how to "seed" out of situations.