Next we see Kathy and Richie going to dinner at their accountant’s house, which I’m supposed to believe is completely normal. If I’m not mistaken, Richie is hiding a salami behind his back, seriously, rewind it and freeze it. He’s hiding a freaking salami behind his back. I guess he doesn’t want to give away that surprise early. Eventually Joey and Melissa show up (Tardy for the party!) holding a bottle of wine that you know is a re-gift. Melissa might be the worst dressed Housewife of all time (including Quinn) as she shows up to dinner with her Sade hairline, fake eyelashes that look like a venus fly trap grew on top of her lids, and a coat that Diana Ross wouldn’t wear in Mahogony. The dinner is pretty mundane, but I did like in Kathy’s interview when she said of Teresa, “Mindless spending will catch up to you.” As she sits in front of a vase on a piano filled with ceramic flowers.
Later in the show we see Caroline at her new radio show, and she does great. Is it me, or is Caroline starting to look a little like Sharon Osbourne? She looks beautiful. Caroline takes calls from listeners with relationship problems and gives them advice. Admit it, we were all waiting for Teresa to call in. Personally I was hoping to hear, “Let’s go to Joey in Montville” Then, “Hey Caroline, howyadoin? I’m a first time listener and a long time caller. I gotta problem. Sometimes I run outta hats.” Also I found myself hoping against hope that our old pal Danny would call in and just yell into the receiver, “A punk is a punk is a punk is a punk!" Can we please figure out a way to bring Danny back to the show? Let’s hook him up with Ashley and see if he breaks his parole. A star is a star is a star is a star and Danny is a star.
Melissa, Caroline, Teresa, and Jacqueline are all preparing for the meeting between Teresa and Melissa. Less discussion went into opening China. Jacqueline explains to Caroline that she figured it would be a nice, neutral spot for them to meet, and she thought it would be good if they used one of her rooms. I hope it’s Ashley’s! She doesn’t use it for anything other than collecting excuses and new cars.
At Melissa’s house, Melissa is sitting with Kathy and her sister, Lysa, discussing the Teresa showdown/meeting. Watching these three strategize reminded me of the old expression, “The blind leading the blind,” and it made me want to change it to, “Melissa’s sister and Kathy giving Melissa advice.” I’m just not sure if it’s catchy.
Does your wife know your guy love for Dude Gorga? Seriously? Really hysterical commentary, though. It's a can't miss for me.
You are hilarious! I read your blog even though I haven't watched the show yet tonight. Altho Joe Gorga seems dumb as a post, he has a gorgeous body and a beautiful face until he opens his mouth. Oy.
I am ROFL, love your blog!
I was hoping Ashley would graduate to a headless poncho. Please tell Melissa, Monica Lewinski needs her outfit back
Why are all of Melissa's scenes filmed in their walk in closet? Have they rented those clothes for the show?
I love your blogs!!!! I can't wait to get your take after each show! Hope you"ll be back each season....
Dear Jay, I love your blog. Looking forward to it every week and laugh out loud every single time. You are a national treasure and really prove that how mighty a pen can be in the right hands; yours has the power to lift me out of the sadness of a broken marriage. God bless you. Thank you and please keep it coming. My only request: can you recap all HW shows? Can you co- host the reunion and WWHL with Andy? You are fantastic. Will have to see yr show when you in San Francisco Bay Area. All my best.
Are you sure that you're not gay? You have better observational powers than any snarky friend I've ever had! If you change diapers & go shopping for clothes (at a strip mall) without complaining, you are THE man!!! And you are into sports, too??? Your wife is truly a lucky lady. (I was going to say lucky man but that seemed kinda snarky.) Keep it coming Jay! Your blog is the best!!!! Happy Fathers Day! Best, Nancee
"Joey tells Teresa that, “Melissa doesn’t like you because you tell it like it is.” So what is he saying, that Melissa only likes lies? That would explain why he kept telling her what a great singing voice she had."
HEHEHEEEE!!!! I'm so sending you a bill for having to clean the mojito off of my latop screen!
LOL, I noticed and LOVED C.J.'s X-Box playing attire, also! I think he realized the Bravo camera's were going to film & he thought, "Wait! I need to look my best." Then, he ran upstairs & put on his dress shirt & tie, (not realizing that he needed to tuck the tie under the collar of his shirt) and casually picked up his game controller. He probably had his Bible on hand just in case he was interviewed about Ashley, "well, I was reading my bible when the call came in that Ashley had crashed her Jeep into a bus load of Senior Citizens while she was texting...."
I do believe I look forward more to your insights on the NJHW show more than the actual show! Thank you for the laughs!!!!
"The longer Teresa and Joey’s meeting goes on, the more it is apparent that they aren’t really mad at each other about anything. Watching Joey Gorga give out all five thousand of his fake reasons why he’s mad at Teresa is the first time I’ve ever seen a man drown without water. If I were there, I would have thrown him a life vest and a hat.
Is it me, or is Caroline starting to look a little like Sharon Osbourne?
“Mindless spending will catch up to you.” As she sits in front of a vase on a piano filled with ceramic flowers."
OMG. I'm so in love with you! I love anyone who can me laugh this hard! I'm going to introduce a bill into Congress that makes it law that you have to blog for ALL the housewives shows!!!!
Hilarious as always I think I'm going to just stop watching the show and just read your recaps they are funny and they sum up the whole show. Just a question are you coming to jersey to do any shows?
Aha! So it's clear from this blog that you do watch the other housewives shows, so the next logical step would be to blog about them! Yay for Jay!
Jay, I honestly look forward to reading your blog more than watching the episode at this point. I wish the viewers could read your commentary simultaneously as the episode airs, like vintage VH1 Pop Up Video style.
Just the fact you used banana clips in your blog, I love you more than I already do! Thanks for keeping it real! And please, Joe Gorga is not your happy place, oh I get it sarcasm is your second language!
Bring your show to South Lake Tahoe!!!
Lol right on point as always! Your obsession with Joey gorga is starting to scare me a little bit but I have to say I loved the shirt he had on for " The Meet "!
Jay, watching Joe Gorga get himself all dressed up for his meeting Teresa confirms for me that he is suffering from a textbook case of "short man syndrome." Look at this guy. His combativeness, his consant talk of sexual matters, the yelling, screaming and table pounding, the "Popeye" physique (overdevelopment of the upper body and scrawny legs). It's all to compensate for a lack of stature. There's nothing wrong with being short, but he's mad at the world, and particularly his sister, for being short-changed in the height department. His wife is taller, his sister is taller and probably his kids will be taller. Maybe the hats make him feel taller. And he can't even string together a cohesive thought during his "sit-down' with Teresa. Can't wait to see how this all pans out.
Once again best blog ever....the only thing appealing about Joe Gorga is him standing quietly in the closet shirtless with his back to the camera...
Love your Blog. Am I the only one that notices every-time the Gorgas have a function nor dinner the topic of conversation is always bashing Teresa?? Also, whats up with her wicked (step) sisters. They do nothing but cause problems and every-time Melissa talks about Teresa she rolls her eyes, I think she is just a spoiled brat who wants the spotlight at home, with her in laws and the show. How sad that in a dark time of Teresa's life she has to deal with her only family bashing her and making fun of her. Keep up your humor you are always spot on!!
A star is a star is a star is a star and Danny is a star
ok this pretty much killed me. reading your blog is a riot. keep it up
First of all, I can't believe there are no comments and I'm the first. I just have to say that Jay you are hilarious and I love you. You should definitely be Andy's co-host on watch what happens. Do you watch any other housewives? I would love to read your comments on all of them...you make me laugh.
As usual, you made me laugh out loud. IMO, the more I see the show, the more I think Melissa HAS been a wedge between Teresa and her brother. She ahs one thing but her expressions are another. Don't blame editing sweetheart. They catch everything and the viewers aren't stupid.