The New Jersey Housewives probably argue over more nonsense than any of the other Housewives. The amount of yelling and backstabbing that happens on a weekly basis over nothing is amazing. At this point I'm waiting for Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell and Gina Gershon to show up and trip each other down the stairs. The Teresa/Melissa rivalry is worthy of the rivalry in Showgirls. Somehow though Teresa and Melissa look tackier.
We start this week with Teresa walking away from her fight with Kathy. Teresa is walking up the beach holding hands with a cement block with nipples. After all the boob jobs that have been documented and alleged on The Real Housewives, Joe Giudice might have the biggest pecs out of all of them. Apparently Teresa needs to change her bikini. I know after I get into a huge fight with one of my cousins, I always like to change into a different bikini. Teresa's post fight bikini is blinding. It's gold and shiny and tiny and looks like what people would wear onstage if Siegfried and Roy started training women. In her new bikini, Teresa looks like Persian Barbie. I am impressed by Tre's ability to behave as if nothing even happened once her new Liberace suit is on.
Jay, I just snorted my herbal tea!! Laughing this hard is better than anything for working out the stress of the day. THANK YOU for the belly laugh, I needed it!!
As soon as Melissa started singing (lip singing) my cable went out. I guess the cable signal couldn't handle that awful noise. It came back on about 5 minutes later....AWWW I missed it. Thank you Jesus
Jay you are a dear, I love your input. Teresa has went down in the sewer this season and according to previews of next week she has talked bad about Carolyn in her cook book. I want buy it for that statement. Love ya Jay
Melissa lip synced an auto-tuned song? I have to give her credit though...she looked very comfortable dancing on stage. You'd never know this was her first time.
I love your blog, Jay!! Hilarious, as usual.
I loved your comments about Joe Guidice playing golf and missing the mats! Laughed out loud...again!!!
Jay Mohr, I look forward to your blog every week and what will I do with that anticipation when this ends next week? Your insight is hilarious, and insightful to the point that the reader (me) wonders, are these reality stars so full of themselves that they do not read what John and Jan Q. Public, the viewers are saying.... I have to say, I am hooked. It is much like the neck stretcher looking at the three car pile up on the side of the interstate, you know it is wrong to gawk, but you just can't help yourself! Thanks Mr. Mohr for all the laughs, belly aches and tears (from laughing) this season! Keep up the great work.....
PS-Saw you at Motor City here in Detroit............. loved it!
I really hope Caroline and Teresa aren't on bad terms, but I think they are. Caroline has been my fav, but I really hope she won't let a bad joke ruin her friendship with Teresa.
I really used to look forward to your blogs but ENOUGH of the bashing Melissa's singing, I'd rather hear that than Teresa talking. You have not only beat a dead horse to death but then you have to run over it, hang it and shoot it. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!! Get back to your old funny self lol P.S. Have you HEARD the countless singing, there's a target for you
I can't figure this show out any more! Are they faking these feuds just for ratings? Is it terrible editing? NOW Teresa and Jacqueline are fighting? In the previews from next week Teresa is fighting with Caroline??? Can Teresa get along with anybody???
You forgot the part when Kathy's sister practicly has her nose pressed to the window with an angry look on her face while Kathy and Teresa were talking. She looed like she was ready to whoop some ass. That was hilarious!
hilarious as always!!! BRAVO should have u do a recap of beverly hills, and all the other housewifes shows!!! awesome jay
You crack me up. Thanks for the heads up. I live on the west coast.Something you wrote in the blog I too wondered. The girls dont get the tapes ahead of time. Like u said, once Teresa hears the stuff said about her during the one on ones, she's going to be pissed. Season 4 is filming, while season 3 is airing. I'm sure you've heard of the brouhaha that started 5 five days ago. If it's true. Yes, Teresa is pissed.Ahem.
BRAVO PLEASE POST MY COMMENT. THANK YOU. Jay,
Bravo gave less than three minutes of Melissa singing I don't understand all the build-up was that Melissa lip synchs. I know you don't agree, but out of Kim, Danielle and LuAnn I think Melissa has the better voice. I think this was editing so the viewer could give her a hard time. I am not saying she is a great singer I think she has a better voice and more potential than the other ladies I mentioned. My favorite RH is RHoNJ even though I didn't appreciate how Teresa's family got on the show. Jay I am surprised that you didn't mention anything about Teresa lost luggage. I thought she was missing her leopard suitcase not the black one that appeared. I also noticed that in that leopard page was her swimsuits not jewelry. If I am wrong, viewers please let me know. I am also surprised that you didn’t mention anything about Caroline. I think Bravo need to bring Caroline’s relatives on the show. I hear that she is not on speaking terms with two or more of her family members. I would like to see how she will feel. She didn’t like when Danielle was talking about Dina.
Thank you Jesus You didn't mention Greg once. Laughed as usual and a usual the Melissa lovers will blast you..she's a lip synching auto tuning phony and Bravo promotes the Hell out of her and the Manzos.This won't get posted..Muah Jay
Geesh it seems like his whole blog was about Melissa....you were funny and great when you first started this...but now you aren't being biased....seems like you want to go in on her and Joe at every chance you get.
O.M.G! I swear, I only watch anymore so I know what Jay's talking about. "Persian Barbie" I . can't. BREATHE !
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh............juuuuusstttttttt lovvvvvvvvvvveeeee youooooooooooowuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..........haha...............
one thing you've got wrong, 99.9% of the people who criticize would rather not go out and lip sync and be compared to Ashlee Simpson, most of us go out there and actually sing or perform, including the kids at the local grammar, middle and high school. don't be giving credit where credit isn't warranted, Melissa acted like she was going to club Britney over the head and take her place of lip syncing an entire show by herself, so spare me the kudos to Melissa.
Jay! You rocked it once again! Keep it up with the real and the hilarious point! Hope they're paying you well for these humorously *TWISTED* blogs so you don't have to take food out of any autotuned mouths! ;)
Jay, you're awesome. But to be fair to Melissa.... it IS the best song put out by a "Housewife"!!!! And thanks for calling out Teresa for the grudge comment. She seems to hold onto them for dear life!
No one can accuse you of taking sides. You were an equal opportunity basher this week. Still very funny. I don't know about you, but I feel that RHONJ is getting so old. All the hatred and backstabbing and alleged backstabbing posted on twitter is awful. I wished the feud was over. Doesn't seem to be the case if you read all the press. Anyway, I think I'm done with the show. Maybe I'll still catch up through your blog.
I think you're great. Wished to have been able to see you in NYC. Can't swing it this time around. Maybe next time.
Jay,, what happened?? Usually your post are funny?. Oh well I think Melissa's song is pretty good. Nice beat, pretty good lryics. I just wonder if they have an auto tune microphone? Anyway I like country but this song by far is better than "Tardy for the Party" and Money can't buy you class. Melissa also has the best voice of all the housewives so far. Maybe alittle pitchy but much better than most. Danielle Staub probably had the best voice but enough of the voice critics. Enjoying your blog and look forward to reading more posts.
Best person on the show has to be Joe Guidice...hates the drama and is a real man...stands up for his wife and yet is there to give credit where credit is due.
Jay, you hit it right on the head! I couldnt stop laughing about what you said. Oh, there are some dogs in my neighborhood that havent stopped howling since Melissa sang that song. My dog Dollar keeps howling and cant stop. Looks like Caroline and Teresa and Jacqueline are no more from the videos I saw on next weeks show. As Italian as the Olive Garden. Thats bad! and talk about Carolines kids. Thats even worse! Love all your blogs this season! Hopefully the Housewives will read them and realize what jerks they are sometmes! On display, On Display, God now my ears hurt!
Jay, I understand you ARE TRYING to be funny, but all ur doing is hitting below the belt. All ur doing is costing ur self fans that won't go to ur NON funny shows. Ur no gentle mean or comedian. Hmm will Bravo Post this?
I usually laugh my butt off when reading your blogs, Jay, but this one just felt mean. Honestly, Melissa isn't the worst singer that ever attempted to sing and the fact that she tried was kudos for her. Please keep the funny lines coming but maybe take out the continual below the belt comments. One or two comments is borderline but more than that is just plain nasty.
Please don't compromise your ethics to gain favors. You trash talked way too beyond for humor with regards to Melissa's singing.
You are the best, Jay! And you didn't block me (yet) on Twitter!
I am disappointed we only heard produced music during Melissa's song. I really wanted to hear what she sounded like. Of course I'm left thinking she doesn't sound good. But still wonder.. did she lip synch at the party or did Bravo edit this to her advantage? I'm thinking Bravo edited.
Minor correction: I also thought Theresa was saying Bill Clinton was the VP, but she did add.. 'his wife!'. Still wrong, but a better guess (I think).
Joey Gorga can show his ass - he knows his strengths, and he has a lot working against him with that height.
Wish you blogged for all Housewives shows!!
Awesome as usual Jay, you will be sorely missed, can't you blog for the others????
A little shocked you didn't go into the tweeting war but just as glad you didn't. WTF
The RHONJ are so incredible..it's the best "show" on tv, scripted or reality.Thanks for another terrific blog.
You are such a creative writer who captures and describes scenes, people etc. in a humorous way. Love the recurring theme interspersed at opportune times...Melissa's singing...
OMG...that was soo funny! Teresa & Joe did step up to the plate and did what they had to do - apologize! They have had a hard year, so we can cut them some slack. The others don't have an exuse. Caroline & Jacqueline are supposed to be friends. Maaaaan, I hate to see how they treat their enemies. Not for nothing, Caroline walks around with her holier than you attitude. I am not feeling her at all. And the way all the Manzo's and Greg disrespect Teresa -she always has something nice to say about all of them. If I was Teresa, I would find it upsetting to hear them talk about me the way they do her. Not real nice. And I am not on either team...I am just saying it as I see it.
Just wanted you to know that your blog is the best thing about this ratchet show now. A whole lot of viewers stopped watching the actual show and just keep up by ready your blog - which is spot on every week and funny as hell.
I saw the sneak peek video of the season finale and, okay, NOW we see why ole stick-in-the-mud Caroline now has a problem with Teresa. B-b-but that "italian as the olive garden" statement is TRUE. And poor spineless Jackie just follows her lead. I may tune in to the reunion - Teresa went from the Manzo/Laurita pit bull to the pariah. I hope Teresa called Danielle for tips on how to deal with Caroline's incessant eye-rolling and sour-puss face that she'll make all night long.
Thanks, Jay. I refused to watch the show to give these ladies any reward for their bad behavior this weekend with strippergate and twittergate. I sure do miss me some Danielle Staub. I'm very upset that my RHONJ has been ruined. No one wants to see family drama play out on tv. Boo Bravo! Yay Jay!
Is this becoming a porn show? Joe Gorga sure is proud of his bare butt, and now his bare "front"!!! I almost turned off the TV when he unzipped his pants to compare with Joe Guiduce. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!