Jay Mohr

Episode 18: Jay Mohr thinks the Teresa/Melissa rivalry has reached Nomi Malone/Cristal Connors levels.

on Oct 2, 2011

Thank God there wasn't a talent portion to the beauty pageant. If Melissa started singing On Display, customers would have started pressing their ears against the hibachis. 

Right when it looks like every one will get back to New Jersey without too much collateral damage, Kathy drops napalm across Teresa. In her interview, Kathy says after the vacation in Punta Cana, she needs another vacation. This vacation she will take with her children. "That would be a vacation to me." DAYUM! Kathy saved her bullets for her interview. Interesting technique. Instead of shooting at people when they're in front of you and having a huge argument on television, wait until you are alone with your thoughts and a camera crew and become a reality television sniper.

Melissa is getting ready for her debut performance at the launch party for Chris and Albie's earplugs company. She tells the party planner that her husband Joey wanted her to walk out with two tigers. Somehow Siegfried and Roy have made it into this blog twice! I hope Melissa has better luck than Roy Horn. She could just sing to the tigers and they would know not to swallow her. What self-respecting tiger would want that sound in their stomachs? Melissa complains that she can't get into the flow. Maybe she should perform, Money Can't Buy You Class. That song is awesome. No matter what Melissa decides to sing, no one will hear her over Richie's shirt. Richie is wearing a paisley shirt out to the club. Nothing like dipping back to 1992 when you get dressed up for a live show. The show starts and Melissa lip synchs to her own record. Most people would get tired if they sang live music at the same time as they were dancing and jumping around. Not Melissa's record. Melissa's record that she is lip-synching to has incredible stamina.