Episode 16: Jay Mohr is ready for the Joes to duel, as he applauds Gia.
Posted by Jay Mohron Sep 12, 20110
Joey and Melissa go to Albie, Chris, and Greg’s house in Hoboken for a little party. It seems that Greg thinks Joey is as hot as I do. Back off Gregory, I called Joey Gorga and those eyes Week One! Get your own man. Melissa plays her song for the boys and they say they like it. Then they inexplicably ask Melissa to sing at their company’s launch party. Are they launching ear plugs? The boys take Joey and Melissa out to a Hoboken nightclub and Joey gets the night started by putting his balls in the back of Greg’s neck. Somehow, Joey has climbed Greg like Mt. Shasta and is sitting on his shoulders like a father and son watching a parade. Joey keeps asking Greg to fondle Melissa. Relax, Joey. Greg doesn’t want to touch Melissa, he wants to be Melissa. Joey moves through the night like it’s his coming out party. He tells a random group of men that he calls his penis “Tarzan.” He then tells those men that he keeps “Tarzan” well-groomed. Is this a nightclub or a bath house?
Allright Bravo, you have my attention now. I never post on these blogs, but I have to say that this has got to be the most entertaining and rip roaring reading I've done in awhile. Best line: 'Melissa snaps like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee.' I almost peed my pants. I'm now hooked. Please have more of Jay! Hilllaaarious... I even got my husband to read this. Thanks Jay Mohr and thanks Bravo :-)
I don't even watch RHNJ anymore. I can just read your blog which gets to the greatness without the commercial breaks. As an added bonus: I don't have to feel so bad about myself afterwards. Thanks for keeping me in the loop and doing the time watching... can they import you to the other RH shows?
Jay your blogs are hilarious and point on. I think it was horrible that Joey had to humiliate his sister and make her read her dedication to him. (I'm hoping he is just illiterate). It's crazy how her pals are turning on her. :-(. Very disappointing
Love you Jay, so glad you are here! Very quick witted and you come up with the funniest lines for these ladies!
Please address the Twitter nonsense in your next Blog, we the viewers would really like to know the real scoop and your take on it!
Jay, you crack me up! Gotta give it to you for calling out momma Manzo, I too was thinking she was being a quitter. If you don't want to do something, don't commit to it. It's not supportive to show up and quit :-(
As always you are right on the money. I love, love,love to hear you blog what America is thinking (or as you say, "shouting at their TV"). My neighborhood "book club" can't wait to see you tonight in Phoenix!
Another excellent blog - always on target with your observations and humor. The cat burglarette is not happy that you are being honest about her singing ability - sadly, autotune doesn't really help but give her a break, she is a diva in her own mind.
Jay, I hve been a fan of yours for years. Love your insights and get that you are blogging tongue in cheek. That you are blogging to not only point out the obvious, but also to poke fun. Great job! Those that don't get it should just move on.
I agree that Gia's songs were sweet and her break down was heart breaking. What I found the most disturbing in that entire scene was Joe Gorga's reaction. He said he got that Gia's heart was breaking because HIS heart was breaking as well. WHAT??? It's NOT about Joe Gorga! A 10 year old little girl poured her heart out, broke down in tears because she was upset that her mom and uncle were feuding. He is one of those feuders. Rather than except his part in it, he says something like well if Gia's hurt, just think how much I hurt. Enough about Gia's pain ... what about MY pain!!!
I know you love his eyes, his hats and his Tarzan ... but he has to be the most immature, selfish man on the face of this planet.
Jay I love your blog! You have to give up on your man-crush with Joey though, Greg will wipe the floor with you. Juicy Joe is so beneath Theresa, why does she put up with it? He's dragging her down. He obviously doesn't respect her. She appears to be the only good thing he has going for him. I think the NJHW's need to have an intervention. Jay, you should mediate it!! Now that would be good TV!
Your blogs are great and don't change a thing! You are a comedian commenting on a reality show and it is hilarious. You crushed Teresa plenty of times and finally Melissa gets it and she has a tantrum! Great stuff Jay you are a genious! I am sure Melissa just gave you plenty of material to make some great comedy with. I can't wait to see it on WWHL on Oct. 9th!
This is the funniest stuff ever written. I just realized this week I used to babysit for Greg. I saw his video claiming to be from affluent Bridgewater. I think he has gotten a little confused by hanging around with the rich people. He's actually from South Bound Brook NJ, the armpit of Somerset County!
OMG--these blogs are too funny. I just about split a gut when I read this last one. Thanks for saying what I'm always thinking about these folks. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE other people's drama. It makes my life seem less dysfunctional! Keep up the awesome blogs...I could use the laughs! xoxo
Jay, me too as to all that has been said here. Bravo! to Bravo to keep you blogging...really, they need to give you a show, just to overview and entertain us through the misery these so called adults put us through. Furthermore, Andy????? are you listening, we are getting so over all of this "over the top" drama. I am sure we would all watch to just have a glimpse into the "rich"? (or faking it) glitz and glamor of this show rather than the same old, same old and surely there would definitely be an audience for anything you have to say abouty not only this one, but all of them....what a comedy show that would be and talking about laughing for the soul. Good job, Jay. thanks for making us laugh and not taking this nonsense too seriously.
Jay, I love and agree what you wrote about Gia. Such a creative, but sensitive child and all grown up at ten. I do like what Kathy said that we can all learn from children. And just when you think they don't know what's going on, they do know and will tell it like it is.... next thing we may see Gia say is to tell her father to grow up too. G to the ia... Go Gia!
P.S. Melania is a trip!
I also cried hearing Gia sing...I was compassionate towards Teresa at first but now on Kathy's side. KATHY has beautiful kids that contributed to her business with a laptop. Ashley is 20, and couldn't give a gift or a card. I have a Muslim bf and i respect Kathy and Rick and she tried to keep a solid relationship with Theresa. Theresa needed to have support and help writing s letter to Joe, but so hypocritical. And I think it is unfair for people to ask Kathy how she would react re: Ashley. Look at their kids..they are very respectful. Ashley is just in a bad mentality which infuriates me. She has the tools to be successful but needs to take it more seriously. Her mom, dad and step parents have been so good to her. I feel bad for her mom. I learned from that episode b/c I moved away to USA from Canada and lft my parents. After all the work they put in, where is the final result???
There have been some comments about Joey Gorga being able to read. I think he can read because he read his texts from Joe Giudice, remember. I think he just likes to make people read things and order them around. Remember he's like a little Nepoleon. I think I'll start calling him Nepoleon.
Milania Milania she's a special kid Milania. Ive been to 100 kid birthday parties, I have never witnessed a child asking a friend or cousin in attendance if they'd like to help blow out the candles. We see her temper tantrums all the time. In that one precious moment, she redeemed herself as being one the sweetest kids Ive ever seen.
Jay I like most people that read your blogs find them to be very very funny and I of course laugh just like everyone else, but seriously it seems like you really have a big dislike for Melissa, we know and WE GET IT but you just continue to beat this dead horse to death now your working on it ghost. People can read and yes WE ALL KNOW you don't like her song once again your going to work on that dead horse isn't it dead enough?
And one more thing, I don't believe she told you to write anything bad about Teresa she simply asked why your passing judgement on her ventures and not others ventures like Teresa's books of family recipes and when I say family they weren't created by her, your smart enough to surely be able to see this. She was not telling you to say bad things about Teresa or anything that she's done and you come out and say she did, I hope that your kind enough to set the record straight on Twitter, now I don't have Twitter or twater of or use any of those outlets but I did read what was said, and she never told you to write anything nasty about Teresa she asked why you always chose to make a few very hurtful remarks and it's so rare that you beat down anyone else. I don't think anyone is giving her a change and as far as her fans go I don't know what show that are watching to make some of the dumbest statements they make and yes, I did go there...
You said in Twitter that you did haven't nice things about Teresa really? I went back and read your blogs and um I believe you said you freakin love Teresa, all I'm saying is Jesus stop boarding the hate train. And Jay yes I know that they put themselves out there and people will judge, I just can't for the life of me figure out the coldness of the remarks about Melissa we don't even know her that well.. Let me say this, when it comes to Gia who I totally adore and the sadness and hurt she feels because she wants him in her life so bad and he wants the same thing that child is saying a lot and if you really watched that scene the things that can't be disputed is her uncle went straight to her to hug her and stayed up there so she could finish that sweet but sad song that she herself wrote, she has nothing but love for this child his Godchild and Melissa picked her up and held her kissed her and told Gia she loved her and she had tears in her eyes. Sorry but I didn't see Teresa that upset not as much as her brother and Melissa where she's trying to calm her down . It was upsetting to watch It's been Melissa that's reached out to Teresa about the play dates with the kids, not Teresa, Melissa has found
Say what you want about Joey Gorga but that man shows a lot of love towads Gia as well as the other , I bring this up because Teresa and her her
Oh and by the way Teresa Joe's talks about her brother being short, like I have to say Juicy joes isn't even a head taller he's kind 1 and 3/4 inches on it that and he acts like his 6 foot tall un he's not.
How dare Melissa try to bully Jay on twitter!!! If Bravo fires anyone it better be Melissa and her ignorant runt of a husband! Oh and while Bravo is at it they can lose Kathy and her creepy husband too! Who the hell does Melissa think she is? Bravo will lose a whole lot of viewers if Jay goes anywhere, Andy are you listening?!
Jay, your blog was brilliant and so funny! thanks for being fair and calling everyone out!
Funny though..., I was watching that very same episode with my friends and when Teresa called Melissa on the phone and then Melissa started going off on her, I asked my friend is Melissa speaking chinese? My girlfriend said no...it sounds like vietnamese and one of my other girlfriends said no maybe its italian! then the girls asked me to turn the tv down because melissa shrill voice was hurting their ears! (lol)
Great job Jay!
Jay, if it weren't for your blogs, I think I would have quit watching a long time ago. These people are just soooooooo miserably unhappy in their lives - ALL of them. Particularly glad you called out Momma Manzo for being a "quitter" - that she is. Keep up the hilarious blogs and I may keep watching so you'll keep you job! lol!
1) I look forward to reading YOUR blog every week over the women, not only is it comical but you tell it just like it is.
2) Although I'm not a gay man like Greg (or a straight man for that matter, i'm a woman) i secretly want to be Melissa Gorga too...who wouldn't?!?
3) You can be my Joe Gorga...
4) Looking forward to next weeks post
Great blog as usual. I only watch this show so I know what you're talking about in your blog. I can't believe you didn't make special mention of the hat jaqueline was wearing in her kitchen. I think it belongs to her baby son and she must have been wearing it inside because she has head lice or something and didnt want them to jump off. Then at the walk Melissa also decided to wear her little girls dead animal on her head. Do you think those grown women realize those hats are for toddlers?
Jay, you crack me up, I actually prefer to read your blog than watch the show. Thank you for calling out Bossy Boots Caroline and Melissa and her high maintenance , catty , ridiculousness. Theresa is a mess but Melissa is mean.
I don't know why her family and so-called friends want her to break down so badly, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction if I were her.
This one was a bit rushed but overall funny. Hearing that Melissa took to Twitter (I don't have an account) to bash Jay?? Really? It's called criticism. She needs a thicker skin- maybe she could borrow the ompa loompa pink coat of Theresa's instead.
And seriously- what is with the amount of sausage eating on this show? I get it- they like sausage. But theresa and Joe find the oddest times to eat it- in the bathroom and at a race? the sausage Joe was slicing up looked like a raw steak... just what I want after running a 5K.
YOU'RE A HOOT!!!!! MEL NEEDS TO GET A GRIP!!!! AND GET OVER HERSELF!!!!
I COMPLETELY BELIEVE THAT SHE WOULD WANT YOU TO TARGET TRE, THE DIFFRENCE IS TRE HAS A SENCE OF HUMOR!!! HOPEFULLY YOU CAN DO US ALL A FAVOR AND SHE WILL FINALLY GET THAT SHE CAN'T SING!!
MAYBE IF GREGGY WOULD GET HIS LIPS OFF MELS BUTT AND STAND UP FOR A MINUTE HE WOULD ACTUALLY HERE HER SING AND HIS EARS WOULD BLEED LIKE THE REST OF US WHO KNOW HER MUSIC ISN'T REAL MUSIC (AUTO-TUNE)
LOVE YOU JAY.
CAN'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEKS BLOG!!!
OMG, Jay I LOVE LOVE LOVE you blogs!! Hilarious!! You call everyone out and are so funny. I wait for your blogs each week. I wouldn't watch the show anymore if you didn't blog. I do not like the new cast members and agree with the other comments. They are only seeking fame at the cost of riding Teresa's coat tails. So funny, please keep it up cuz if you stop then I stop watching!!