I was dreaming when I wrote this, so forgive me if it goes astray...
Episode 2 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was inevitably a little mellower than the season premiere, however it was still a solid episode. It begins with Caroline Manzo saying, "It's cold. It's sticky, and it's slippery." For a moment my heart jumped, because I thought they had brought back Danielle. Turns out that Caroline was just talking about the insides of a pumpkin, which I think may be a little smarter than Danielle. Plus, you can put a candle inside a pumpkin and fill it with light. Again Caroline looks great while rocking an Hermes scarf and being the mother hen to her family and generally giving out great advice.
Teresa gives a recap of the "brawl in the hall" to Caroline, and even Joe Giudice explains his version of what happened. The best part of which was when he called Joe Gorga a "little fidget." I have always loved the old expression, "There are three sides to every story, yours, mine, and the truth." That expression never applies in Real Housewives land. In Real Housewives land there is only one side to a story -- everybody's.
Joe and Melissa Gorga get to tell their version over dinner at Kathy and Richie's house. In retelling the story Joe Gorga almost gives himself a hemorrhoid, and Richie has to tell him to take a few deep breaths. Apparently no one told Joe and Melissa, "No hats at the dinner table." Joe is wearing his trademark knit hat, and Melissa is wearing a hat that looks like it was stolen off the set of Blossom.
We move down the call sheet and settle in on Kim D. She is putting together another fashion show that will be held at The Brownstone. It seems the Housewives go to more fashion shows than Andre Leon Talley. I am super looking forward to this, because we all know how well the first New Jersey fashion show turned out. Melissa is in the Posche store trying on a few different dresses when in walks the hurricane that is Kim G.
Love the recap, but you missed the best part! Theresa's three oldest daughters dressed up as rock stars - Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Kesha. The youngest one was a gym teacher (on WWHL Theresa clarified it was Sue Sylvester). It was just so random!
So funny, Jay! I'll look for your blog first every week. As for the Doonesbury character-gone-wrong that is Danny, he wore the hell out of those acid wash jeans. The hell out of them.
OMG, I have never watched the show. I don't need to if you keep writing your blog. You are HILARIOUS!!
Jay, Can you understand why Kathy continues to try to present herself as neutral or unbiased when all we have seen is her palling around with Melissa and jOey. and only speaking negatively about Teresa. It doesn't matter if Teresa is a terrible family member. The truth of the matter is Melissa and Kathy have chosen to be on the show, for no other purpose it seems, but to bash Teresa. So basically their 15 minutes are coming from Teresa hard work.
I laugh out loud reading your blogs. They are as entertaining as the actual show. Can't wait to read your comments every week!
Yea Jay! What a GREAT blog! A little testosterone thrown into the mix of the estrogen overload that is RHONJ...LOVE IT! Keep 'em comin'!!!
I love your blog this week and last week, I think you say what everyone else is thinking. And what the hell are the Gorga's thinking, that melissa is a no class bitch!!!
Oh my gosh! You are hysterical. That was just as funny as last week. Didn't think that was possible. Can't wait until next week. Your blog is the best thing about the RHONJ this season.
This may be the the best blog I've ever read. I laughed out loud and tears are streaming down my face. Keep it up Jay!
It took a bit, but I figured out Kathy was supposed to be one of those aliens from Avatar, but was too lazy to make her face blue.
The kids all looked awesome for Halloween, especially the Mini Sue Sylvester, aka Audriana.
Hilarious blog though. I just wish it was longer, for even more laughs!
Jay you are too funny. Never thought I would see reference to Blossom, Kim Jong Il, and Spahn Ranch in a blog about RH of New Jersey. Keep blogging very entertaining!
I just found your blogs and have been cracking up with tears rolling down my face. You are so funny and such a great writer! Usually after the show I will look up the blog to the most interesting person of the episode....but from now on I am going straight to your blog! You nailed it!!
looked forward to your post all week! Watched the after "Watch what happens" with you and your awsome wife. I would love to be at your house when you guys watch, you're both hysterical! Thanks for the laughs, they were all we got from this show. I'm not hoping for a blow out every episode, but this one fizzled. Except for the Caroline and Lauren Manzo, they rocked it!
Hilarious..... I wonder how long will Melissa and the Kathy will last? This season is focusing too much on the "Hatfield and McCoy Feud" but Jersey Style!!!!Kim G and Kim D is like the Lone Ranger and Tonto but who is Tonto? Let's see what happens????
i just love your blogs, you should do this for every show you are so funny. The remark about Kathy and Tex watson was my favorite. I look forward to future blogs from you, you make it worth watching these nut jobs
OMG! Your on Bravo blogs too! I just saw you in Denver on Friday (you may have heard me...I was cracking up before your punchline the entire night;) and I have to say you were so funny. I thought your entire show was hilarious....my stomach hurt from laughing. I had no idea you blog here, I can't wait to see what you say. Good luck in everything you do!
YOU are officially my favorite part of this show!! I love your observations and think you are spot on! Rock on Mr. Mohr.
Very funny, I enjoy your take on the show. After reading both of your blogs, I think your perspective of Melissa and Joe Gorga is dead on.
Jay, I think I love reading your blog more than any of the ladies. You see it like it is and say it. Great blog.
Great job, Jay you are way too funny. I love your take on the RHONJ. Someone needs to bring them down a few notches and you are the one to do it.