Jay Mohr

Jay Mohr offers a comedian's take on Episode 2.

on May 23, 2011

I was dreaming when I wrote this, so forgive me if it goes astray...

Episode 2 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was inevitably a little mellower than the season premiere, however it was still a solid episode. It begins with Caroline Manzo saying, "It's cold. It's sticky, and it's slippery." For a moment my heart jumped, because I thought they had brought back Danielle. Turns out that Caroline was just talking about the insides of a pumpkin, which I think may be a little smarter than Danielle. Plus, you can put a candle inside a pumpkin and fill it with light. Again Caroline looks great while rocking an Hermes scarf and being the mother hen to her family and generally giving out great advice.

Teresa gives a recap of the "brawl in the hall" to Caroline, and even Joe Giudice explains his version of what happened. The best part of which was when he called Joe Gorga a "little fidget." I have always loved the old expression, "There are three sides to every story, yours, mine, and the truth." That expression never applies in Real Housewives land. In Real Housewives land there is only one side to a story -- everybody's. 

Joe and Melissa Gorga get to tell their version over dinner at Kathy and Richie's house. In retelling the story Joe Gorga almost gives himself a hemorrhoid, and Richie has to tell him to take a few deep breaths. Apparently no one told Joe and Melissa, "No hats at the dinner table." Joe is wearing his trademark knit hat, and Melissa is wearing a hat that looks like it was stolen off the set of Blossom

We move down the call sheet and settle in on Kim D. She is putting together another fashion show that will be held at The Brownstone. It seems the Housewives go to more fashion shows than Andre Leon Talley. I am super looking forward to this, because we all know how well the first New Jersey fashion show turned out. Melissa is in the Posche store trying on a few different dresses when in walks the hurricane that is Kim G.