And then it's Halloween night. The different costumes that everyone chose are pretty amazing. Teresa decides to put on a cape and simply be "Super T." It's kind of lame, and G to the ia let's her know as much. After watching G to the ia work a knife while carving pumpkins in the beginning of the episode, I would spend most of my life trying to keep her happy.
And then Melissa and Joe unveil their costumes. Melissa is a pretty great-looking Catwoman and Joe Gorga dresses up as Snooki. Watching Joe walk around the house in pumps, a dress, and the poof wig is very unsettling. Melissa thinks it's funny at first, then realizes that there is a big downside. She explains that while she is rocking it and looking sexy in the cat suit, it will be hard to get down and dirty with Joe, because he is dressed up as a woman. Joe, if ever there was a time to pull together a Catman suit, tonight was the night. On the bright side for Melissa, even though she only donned her costume for one night, more people will remember her as Catwoman than Halle Barry.
A few guests arrive at Melissa and Joe's house. In the thank-God-there-are-no-second-takes department, Kim D. says, "I'm dressed like half a hooker." Which begs the question, "Which half?" Richie is dressed in hospital scrubs (not a bad idea in case another fight breaks out), Kim G. is dressed like Peter Criss from Kiss, and Kathy has thrown together some kind of LSD-while-living-in-a-bus-in-Topanga-Canyon track suit outfit. She looks like she got dressed at Spahn Ranch with Tex Watkins. Or maybe she's dressed like a woman that rides a bike on the Jersey Turnpike with clams in the bike basket. I am keeping my eye on Kathy. If any of the Housewives are going to eat Peyote buttons and use telepathy to talk to the bushes, my money's on Kathy.
Everyone eventually goes out to a disco for some (lots) of drinks and dancing. I never thought I would live long enough to see Catwoman bent over from behind by Snooki. Certainly someone in the viewing audience just hit their personal fetish jackpot.
Love the recap, but you missed the best part! Theresa's three oldest daughters dressed up as rock stars - Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Kesha. The youngest one was a gym teacher (on WWHL Theresa clarified it was Sue Sylvester). It was just so random!
So funny, Jay! I'll look for your blog first every week. As for the Doonesbury character-gone-wrong that is Danny, he wore the hell out of those acid wash jeans. The hell out of them.
OMG, I have never watched the show. I don't need to if you keep writing your blog. You are HILARIOUS!!
Jay, Can you understand why Kathy continues to try to present herself as neutral or unbiased when all we have seen is her palling around with Melissa and jOey. and only speaking negatively about Teresa. It doesn't matter if Teresa is a terrible family member. The truth of the matter is Melissa and Kathy have chosen to be on the show, for no other purpose it seems, but to bash Teresa. So basically their 15 minutes are coming from Teresa hard work.
I laugh out loud reading your blogs. They are as entertaining as the actual show. Can't wait to read your comments every week!
Yea Jay! What a GREAT blog! A little testosterone thrown into the mix of the estrogen overload that is RHONJ...LOVE IT! Keep 'em comin'!!!
I love your blog this week and last week, I think you say what everyone else is thinking. And what the hell are the Gorga's thinking, that melissa is a no class bitch!!!
Oh my gosh! You are hysterical. That was just as funny as last week. Didn't think that was possible. Can't wait until next week. Your blog is the best thing about the RHONJ this season.
This may be the the best blog I've ever read. I laughed out loud and tears are streaming down my face. Keep it up Jay!
It took a bit, but I figured out Kathy was supposed to be one of those aliens from Avatar, but was too lazy to make her face blue.
The kids all looked awesome for Halloween, especially the Mini Sue Sylvester, aka Audriana.
Hilarious blog though. I just wish it was longer, for even more laughs!
Jay you are too funny. Never thought I would see reference to Blossom, Kim Jong Il, and Spahn Ranch in a blog about RH of New Jersey. Keep blogging very entertaining!
I just found your blogs and have been cracking up with tears rolling down my face. You are so funny and such a great writer! Usually after the show I will look up the blog to the most interesting person of the episode....but from now on I am going straight to your blog! You nailed it!!
looked forward to your post all week! Watched the after "Watch what happens" with you and your awsome wife. I would love to be at your house when you guys watch, you're both hysterical! Thanks for the laughs, they were all we got from this show. I'm not hoping for a blow out every episode, but this one fizzled. Except for the Caroline and Lauren Manzo, they rocked it!
Hilarious..... I wonder how long will Melissa and the Kathy will last? This season is focusing too much on the "Hatfield and McCoy Feud" but Jersey Style!!!!Kim G and Kim D is like the Lone Ranger and Tonto but who is Tonto? Let's see what happens????
i just love your blogs, you should do this for every show you are so funny. The remark about Kathy and Tex watson was my favorite. I look forward to future blogs from you, you make it worth watching these nut jobs
OMG! Your on Bravo blogs too! I just saw you in Denver on Friday (you may have heard me...I was cracking up before your punchline the entire night;) and I have to say you were so funny. I thought your entire show was hilarious....my stomach hurt from laughing. I had no idea you blog here, I can't wait to see what you say. Good luck in everything you do!
YOU are officially my favorite part of this show!! I love your observations and think you are spot on! Rock on Mr. Mohr.
Very funny, I enjoy your take on the show. After reading both of your blogs, I think your perspective of Melissa and Joe Gorga is dead on.
Jay, I think I love reading your blog more than any of the ladies. You see it like it is and say it. Great blog.
Great job, Jay you are way too funny. I love your take on the RHONJ. Someone needs to bring them down a few notches and you are the one to do it.