Jay Mohr

Jay Mohr offers a comedian's take on Episode 2.

on May 23, 2011

And then it's Halloween night. The different costumes that everyone chose are pretty amazing. Teresa decides to put on a cape and simply be "Super T." It's kind of lame, and G to the ia let's her know as much. After watching G to the ia work a knife while carving pumpkins in the beginning of the episode, I would spend most of my life trying to keep her happy. 

And then Melissa and Joe unveil their costumes. Melissa is a pretty great-looking Catwoman and Joe Gorga dresses up as Snooki. Watching Joe walk around the house in pumps, a dress, and the poof wig is very unsettling. Melissa thinks it's funny at first, then realizes that there is a big downside. She explains that while she is rocking it and looking sexy in the cat suit, it will be hard to get down and dirty with Joe, because he is dressed up as a woman. Joe, if ever there was a time to pull together a Catman suit, tonight was the night. On the bright side for Melissa, even though she only donned her costume for one night, more people will remember her as Catwoman than Halle Barry. 

A few guests arrive at Melissa and Joe's house. In the thank-God-there-are-no-second-takes department, Kim D. says, "I'm dressed like half a hooker." Which begs the question, "Which half?" Richie is dressed in hospital scrubs (not a bad idea in case another fight breaks out), Kim G. is dressed like Peter Criss from Kiss, and Kathy has thrown together some kind of LSD-while-living-in-a-bus-in-Topanga-Canyon track suit outfit. She looks like she got dressed at Spahn Ranch with Tex Watkins. Or maybe she's dressed like a woman that rides a bike on the Jersey Turnpike with clams in the bike basket. I am keeping my eye on Kathy. If any of the Housewives are going to eat Peyote buttons and use telepathy to talk to the bushes, my money's on Kathy. 

Everyone eventually goes out to a disco for some (lots) of drinks and dancing. I never thought I would live long enough to see Catwoman bent over from behind by Snooki. Certainly someone in the viewing audience just hit their personal fetish jackpot.