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Kathy Wakile

Dear Santa

Kathy feels for Chris and Caroline and hopes everyone can learn something from her mother's story.

Jul 26, 2011

I wanted to invite her and her family over for Christmas Eve as we've done many times in the past. In fact we used take turns hosting Christmas Eve. Could I have called, sure. But I believe that there is nothing more personal than resolving issues face to face. I knew that Teresa would never call me. Instead she would say that she's over it, and she doesn't want to bring up the past and stay positive, but her reaction shows that she holds a grudge. Watching Teresa in action for the last few years, you know that things have to be done on Teresa's terms. At the time I wasn't ready to kiss Don Teresa's ring. 

Since the Posche fashion show exchange seems to keep making it's way into every episode, for the last time, I did not insult her parenting abilities. Watch that episode over again and “Pay attention, puhlease!” It was Teresa that started to insult me first by questioning my motives for leaving the christening and actually insulting my judgment as a parent. I was worried for the safety and well being of my children and hers as well. Watch it carefully and you will see how she drew her own conclusions and took our talk to a negative place. The kids were not even the reason I pulled her aside. I wanted to encourage her to reach out to her brother. 

My intentions at the Christmas party were to resolve my own issues with Teresa and put it behind us. I wanted to do my part to end any drama between Teresa and me, but she wouldn't let me get passed, “Hello, it's nice to see you.” 

Which brings me to this week's episode. I guess Teresa's words reveal that she has no desire to make up with me. “I don't care…It's not written in stone that I have to make up with my cousin." Did you all catch that conversation she had with Jacqueline? Family is everything? I guess when Teresa refers to family she is talking about one that doesn't include her cousin, who by the way has Gorga blood running through her. OK, I suppose everyone's definition of family is different.

Emotional and Enraged
Emotional and Enraged

Kathy explains why she got so upset with Teresa at the party.

July 26, 2011 The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 3 / Episode 9 / Kathy Wakile
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9 page blog? Are you kidding me! At least Jay's is funny! WOW!

For someone who is barely in the past two episodes, your blogs are way too long...guess that is your way of "interjecting" yourself into the show

Kathy, it's great to do thing with family especially around the holidays, and it was great to see you cooking with your mom and kids. Here's an idea of how you may be able to ease the situation with Teresa.

Call her up, sincerely apologize for everything you've said and how you've behaved, and end the talk there. Then ask her to come over to cook a recipe from her cookbook as well as bake one of the desserts you made for Thanksgiving at Melissa's. Cook and bake together for just the two of you to eat with no one else around. I'm Italian too, and we Italians DO show love through food. If she says no, don't call her names behind her back... tell her again how much you would like to do that with her. It's a common interest for the two of you and it may open a door that is otherwise closed.

You are complete and utter class. You are my favorite housewife and you handled the situation the best way you could.

Wow Kat,

Your mother already explained to us the disagreement with your uncle.You rehashing made your blog hella long.

You are so horrible to Teresa. Don't you realize that just because you say "jump", doesn't mean someone is going to do it? You have betrayed Teresa's trust in more ways that one, so just because you approach her, doesn't mean she should just turn on a switch and be okay with you. Time helps heal. You came on a show to hurt her and before that, befriended someone that she did not get along with instead of staying out of it. Not to mention that many times you talk about her behind her back and allow others to do the same. You seem to only recall things happening the way you see them instead of the way they actually happened because Teresa DID let you get passed "Hi, how are you?" THREE TIMES!!!! Then you are so biased and never take responsibility for your actions or recognize your part in anything. You just point out everything that you feel Teresa does wrong. I understand why Teresa needs more time to make nice with you. For someone who was like a sister to her, you hurt her and switched sides instead of taking none. You are part of the problem and you need to realize that.

Secondly, what is it with you people airing your family's personal feuds?? It was enough to see that your uncle and father had a similar family disagreement, but did we really need to know the details? Absolutely not! Learn to keep some things about family sacred. Not everything needs to be exposed. So tacky!

Seriously Bravo. I'm a huge fan of all the Housewives series & other shows on Bravo. I have tried since last February to post a comment & you have yet to print one. Last time I will try then I'm done w/ Bravo. With all do respect. You came on this show without the best of intentions. I think it would be very interesting to see who pitched the idea of you & Melissa joining the cast. Did Bravo approach you or did you two approach Bravo. No matter what you say about mending your families I don't blame Teresa for not wanting anything to do with you. I would of love to have seen Melissa's reaction if it were not the Manzo's that kicked Kim G. out. That girl would have flipped out saying that they ruined her party! Kathy & Melissa should never of joined the cast. And to Melissa's sisters your not part of RHONJ so quit trying so hard. Your not going to get your own shows. You people are not interesting.

Kathy, I agree with why you had an emotional break down at the party. I think your husband is so nice to you and it was adorable what he was saying to you in the bathroom. Too Funny! I do think that you should have let Tre end it at nice to see you too. I mean she's at a party getting a plate and you follow her around like a bumble bee. Give her time and she'll come around. Should have said nice to see you like you did and walked away, let it soak in for a while. She would have realized that you were just being nice and wanted to make a point to say hello to her. Then once things are good with her brother and her it would be a good time to work things out with you too. You build the relationship back one hello, good to see you, you look nice at a time.

You odn't need to give anyone an explanation, if we don't get it, that would be our problem. People don't see the forest through the trees, they think that Teresa is awesome and don't know the back story. The fact is, she and her husband have put themselves in this predicament, not you, not anyone else. But, she will play the victim as long as she can and as long as these people allow her to. It's such a shame. You are a good person, loving, kind, gentle, and shouldn't have to take all the nasty spewing that you take from people here, it's not your fault that Teresa is the way she is, she is a product of her own environment. No one with a brain thinks that you questioned her parenting, but she questioned yours, no one thinks that Rich would have burned Melissa's house down unless they are total morons, he said those things out of love and respect for you.

Kathy your family has quickly become one of my favorites along with the Manzo's. Rich is my favorite of all the guys, he is hilarious and a true family man. I would be proud to have him as a friend. I wish your family true peace and happiness, and I hope your family and the Manzo's get closer and do more together. I know Teresa is your family but don't let her make you crazy; you tried to bridge the gap. Now sit back and let her come to you.


I do not know what goes on behind the scenes but it seems to be in terms of what they want from all of you, the more conflict and nastiness....the better. From the very beginning, I thought that you were different. You are a great wife and mother and really nice. Theresa does not treat you well but don't let her become something you are not. Theresa is very insecure at the moment or she wouldn't need to act the way that she does. You are remarkable. Your husband is wonderful. You are both the most down to earth of the bunch. You should do a cooking show or at least a cook book. I would buy your book. You seem to be the real thing not something you create for tv viewers. Don't be afraid to be nice..for heaven sakes...we need some balance for the other self-centered, self-absorbed who constantly need to one up. Hang in are the best.

I hope you and Teresa can resolve your differences! I think you mean well (because you and Rich seem so sweet!), but your timing is just way off. Best ofluck! Can't wait to hear more about your catering business!

Kathy, i love you and richie and am so glad you have been added to this show. keep your head held high with respect to teresa. you have handled yourself with grace in the face of some very disrespectful conduct. IMO, you're not the one who looks bad here, especially in light of recent episodes. loved you and richie on "watch what happens: live" and completely cracked up when richie said on air (regarding the outdoor christmas lights) that he needed to show you that "[he] could do things call someone [to put up the lights.]" lolol... keep it coming!

Kathy, I'm sorry that you had so many negative comments last week. As a "reality" show, I'm sure some of it is scripted and perhaps you were asked to say "hello" to Teresa at the party. You seem like a very warm loving person and I hope Bravo begins to show you in a better light. When your Mom was stuffing the mushrooms, it reminded me of my family and we used to do the same kind of preparation - unfortunately, they are all gone now and holidays are usually spent alone. I do hope you will write a dessert cook book one day.

Your blog made me tear up. I sure do miss my mother who died 6 years ago of a heart attack. Now it's just my dad and I. I'm 31 and I wish to God I could go back in time and re-live those wonderful memories of the 3 of us dancing in the living room during Christmas time. It just breaks my heart to grow older and to see my dad grow older. He is still upstate and my life in NYC sure hasn't been easy with the economy and how expensive it is. My wish is for children to try to appreciate being young and for parents to provide their children with the sort of memories that I have.


you have been friendly with anyone willing to go after Teresa .... you have not acted like family to her at all !! where were you when she needed some understanding ??? her brother was ambushed with you, Melissa, and her sisters all in his ear .... reprehensible !!! you pay attention and re-watch the show !! your true feelings were all over your face and body language on top of both yours & your husbands tongues !!!

when 2 people are involved in a fight both have to be ready to settle it. please have compassion for what teresa and joe are going through private matters in a very public forum. obviously you saw a great example in the last 2 episodes of people trying to rub T & J's nose in it--Melissa's brother in law has no class to try to start BS at a party. and kim deliberately brought monica (you'd think monica would have more sense than to want to be used by kimlike this) to cause trouble. just go forward with your own life and don't make nasty comments about the G's.

Loved reading your blog, you are so down to earth and so easy to relate to! So glad that you joined the cast, I love watching you and your family…..such a nice break from all the drama!!

Loved reading your blog, you are so down to earth and so easy to relate to! So glad that you joined the cast, I love watching you and your family…..such a nice break from all the drama!!

Kathy, I love your husbands sense of humor, what a breathe of fresh air he adds to the show. I got a kick out of him when he was busting Joey about his comments to you while you were getting your picture taken outside their house. I hope you guys are included in the next season of this show.

Kathy, I don't really know how I feel about you on the show, yet. At home you seem so calm, cool, and collected. You appear to be a great and loving wife and mother. However, when it comes to the Melissa and Teresa drama, I just feel like you like it way too much. If Teresa wasn't feeling your apology, why didn't you just walk away? If I know, by now, how Teresa acts when she feels pushed and cornered, you, certainly, should know it.

Also, the length of your blogs....frankly, an innocent person doesn't need nine pages of blogging to get their point across....

KATHY, you are truly capable of playing nice. You were so affectionate towards Kim G at Melissa Christmas party but you are quite different with your cousin Teresa I think you have a Jekyl and Hyde thing going on

Ahhh Hawthorne!!!! Where?? I have lived there my entire life and never saw that place!!! :)

I love, love, love you and your family....your husband and kids are too cute for words. You husband is really funny and he cracks me up!

You cleared up alot!! I am sorry for saying stupid stuff on past blog comments you aint so bad after all.

I know you said that you wanted to approach Teresa b/c it was the right time for YOU but just b/c something is the right time for you doesn't always mean it is the right time for someone else. I really like you - you seem to be sincere in saying you want to make up w/ Teresa and I love your family. However, you really should stop bad-mouthing her. You are incredibly fortunate to have such a loving husband and family and great life. Now please put yourself in Teresa's shoes for a moment. She has been through SO much in the last year(s) with the financial situation, her husband in jail, and other, all the while having it aired all over the news and of course this television show. She has held her head high and seems to be moving forward as best she can but can you imagine what that's like for her? I can't and I hope I don't ever have to find out. I assume that she is still doing the show in part, b/c well we all love her and she's fanastic, but it's got to be so embarrassing and hard for her to share all of these personal troubles she is going through and she's doing it w/ the bes t dignity she can.

Then to make things worse, her brother and sister-in-law get on the show this season and start airing that dirty laundry as well. I feel like she has been shamed enough and while her behavior at times has probably not been the best and I am not making excuses for her, because you are FAMILY, perhaps you could show her some empathy. B/c I am sure what she could really use is not another person who wants to pick a battle w/ her, but someone that is just THERE FOR HER. She is struggling right now and could probably just use the support and a hug. So please stop making it about yourself and realize that some of her actions/reactions are b/c she is going through a tough time and trying to make it through w/ her gorgeous family in tact and with as much dignity and respect that she can.

Kathy, your love for your uncle really shows in your blog. He would want you and Teresa's families to be close. Life is too short. Hang in there, I believe Teresa will eventually come around. Kill her with kindness. You seem like a lovely person. I wish you the best.


Love watching you and Rich, your husband is a hoot. I hope you and Theresa can meet privately and has this mess out. Not a thing to do in front of the cameras. Can't wait for next week's episode!


stay away from Kim G Kathy..that's trouble with a capital T you have too much class for that .. don't buy into it.. she's trying to get you there because she knows you and teresa are having difficulties her sugeon did a good job though ..BTW

I LOVE YOU KATHY! I didn't at the beginning but from the looks of it, you're not that "bad guy". Looking forward to seeing more of you and you're family! Love from CALI!

I sincerely hope that this family works out all of their differences and learns to get along. It has to be stressful on all of you, including the children and grandparents. You never know what will happen tomorrow. Work it out today for the sake of all that are involved.

Great blog Kathy. I hope you see what we see about Kim G. We had her for 2 yrs. Hopefully you'll stay away from her. She's just trying to stretch her 15min since she was not asked to be on the show full time. It was nice seeing your mom and sister on the show.

You are my new fav! Seriously, why can't people get that you weren't insulting T's parenting at that fashion show. T didn't like hearing that you pointed out her children were left alone while their parents fought. Also, you tried once again to be civil and talk to her like an ADULT at M's Christmas party, and T had to be all snotty. At least that's what the viewers saw. Don't worry, eventually, after all this hoopla is long gone, she will reach out to family. You stay strong and nice....and keep us laughing. Your husband is hilarious - he cracks me up every episode....and you have a beautiful house - loved seeing it all decorated for Christmas!!! Wish we had some of that cool weather in Texas right now!

I think you are very pretty.Big pretty eyes thats your best feature. But you were kind of asking for it with your cuz that night.You should have said hello and left maybe as the night went on you could have ask to come over and talk this thru without a mass of people in a party.I would have shut u down to.

Did you really just quote Danielle Staub???

Love, love you and your family. And your husband's sense of humor is priceless. Yes, the children are all beautiful and I wish Teresa would find it in her heart to make up with you. I know you tried and that shows you are the bigger person. I don't know why she holds a grudge and I hate it! She needs to think of the children if nothing else. I'm so glad you are on the show!!

I do understand your feelings, but what you say doesn't make sense about the timing. You should have made your move to reconcile in private with Teresa- why don't you get that? You couldn't have called her and gone to see her BEFORE the party if you wanted it to be behind you at that event. If you feel that way about do what you feel when you feel it, then why did you not stick up for Teresa and Joe Guidice at the christening? They were feeling like being kind to their nephews (dancing with the baby) and nieces and to Joe Gorga when Teresa went up to them to say Congratulations? Sounds like it's only OK for impluse when you do it but no one else.

First of all, I want to say that you looked STUNNING at Melissa's Christmas party. Your hair and dress were FIERCE. But I still think that was the wrong time to approach Teresa. I think you should have just said, "It's nice to see you, how are the kids" and left it at that. Teresa is a spicy spitfire for sure, but she has a lot on her plate right now. Maybe you should just love her from a distance until she gets eveything worked out with her brother.

LOVE the show!!

I love you! I love Teresa! Love your hubby too! He's a rock.

I totally look past your outburst! I'm the same way lol! Push me to the edge and feel the wrath for a minute or two. Your mom is so sweet! I'm brought to tears every time I watch that part. You go girl! Hopefully you got a half and half response on this episode. My thoughts are. . . no worries. HEY! You didn't tip over a table and there wasn't a brawl on your behalf [LOL]. We love you even more because you are laid back.

Honey your mom story is so true about family . I like your approach to Teresa ,I'm sorry that she didnt have the maturity that you had. To me it just look like she was being very rude to you . had just be yourself and keep trying.

As a family that is blended and large on both sides (my husband is Lebanese and I am American), family fights do happen and sometimes go on longer than they should. However, you did hover, instead of baby steps. You should have made the cordial small talk only. Any other attempt in reestablishing a relationship should be done in private. You have had ample time to meet with Teresa prior to the holidays and try to resolve issues. After your attempt, it was you who went overboard with name calling and talking about Teresa at a Christmas party. That's not going to fix problems, but create more when the gossip gets back to her. You say that you were being cordial to Kim G., why? You have heard her do nothing but talk about your cousin. Even if I was angry with my cousin, I would not listen to one word someone else (an obvious troublemaker) had to say about my family. These are not the actions of a true peacemaker. Trust me I know.

LoL!! Oh-my-gosh.....a 9 page blog?!?!?!?! It's cute...and long!

Anyway, my two cents worth, you and Teresa need to talk AWAY from the cameras. Go to lunch, coffee, drinks, whatever, just you and her and no cameras!

Your son is adorable and reminds me so much of a young Ralph Macchio :o)


Kathy, your blog was a beautiful thing. When I saw that it was 9 pages, I was just about to skip it, but you drew me in and it was so worth it. I have been on Teresa's side all this time, but not anymore. Teresa, enough already. It's time to let bygones be bygones and let go of the pettiness. Kathy, keep taking the high road. (By the way, your Richie is my favorite of the husbands. When the two Joes say mean things, it's a bit disturbing, but when Richie said he would burn down the house for you -- of course he wouldn't, but wasn't it so sweet that he truly meant it, metaphorically). All the best to you and your family all the best.

Hey Kathy

I hope thing go well for u and everyone and most of all u need to beware of Kim G She is going after anyone and start the drama. I hope before the final season where u have a peaceful moment with Teresa sit down and talked it time to let go and move on from there and stay apart for for awhile to take time to heal one anothers. But plz say away from Kim G SHE IS Badluck and it will since saw the last season 2 reunion

Kathy- you are someone that anyone would be proud to have as a family member. Your big heart and level-headedness comes across as so genuine; it's such a shame that Teresa could learn a lot about how to be a decent human being from you but she chooses to shut you out because her heart seems to be closed, locked, and empty. How you have put up with her over the years is way beyond me. She is negative, nasty, mean-spirited, and vindictive; I would avoid her like the plague.

So ridiculous that people actually get upset that you approached her at Melissa's Christmas party. Like an "olive branch" has to be perfectly timed out and agreed upon by both parties before it happens. What IS the matter with people...where is all this PETTINESS coming from?? It's on all these shows, the blogs, people's really depresses me.

Kathy I see a lot of myself in you ,,, Take the high road .. and don't worry about who is talking to who.. Everyone has family trouble..Just stay true to yourself ... Just call Teresa up and meet for coffee not drinks ,, take her to lunch and Even if you feel you didn't do wrong . Just say hey we are family I love you and all of us need to stick togather ..What ever you feel i did am sorry.. Show teresa you mean it and have nothing ,,I mean nothing to do with kim .. Do not even talk to her .. Don't let this show tear the family apart.. Don't get me wrong i love the show and Bravo .. But in the end when the show is not on the air you well still have family .. Just tell everyone in the family hay I am here if you need me but from now on am not getting involved with all the bad stuff ..

Kathy Wakile I really enjoy watching you and your hubby and children on TV. I was craking over laughing on the scene when Joey was saying how sexy you look and you r hubby looked liked he wanted to bust his chops !! LOVE IT !! i mmade my BF come watch it on the rerun because he acts the same way ! I guess I enjoy you both the most becasue you KEEP IT REAL !! and your son OMG how cuter can you be !! love the episode when he says very a matter of fact "you know im gonna have a drink on a Friday Or Saturday and you looked like your heat sank but im sure you no I know you will survive ! keep it real Kathy Wakile your doing an incrediable job!

You are awesome. I love your family. Your husband is hilarious.

Kathy, I really enjoyed reading your blog. I loved the story about the family history. Very interesting. You have a wonderful view regarding family. Great words of advice to live by. Love you!

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