Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Emotional and Enraged

Kathy explains why she got so upset with Teresa at the party.

OK welcome back, everyone! Hope you all had a great week. Rich and I had so much fun last week with Jay Mohr on Watch What Happens Live, although hey Jay…let me get a couple of words in. Thank you so much for your wonderful comments and continued support. Trust me when I tell you the things Jay had to say during commercial breaks were even funnier than what he said on air.

I stand corrected, last week I misquoted a song and said it was the "happiest time of the year." Thanks to the clever viewer who pointed out it is "the most wonderful time of the year." Happy, wonderful, it all means the same to me. Don't they go hand in hand with Christmas anyway?

Decorating for Christmas has always been one of my favorite things to do. I’ve been creative and sometimes a bit kooky since I was a young girl. As a child I always volunteered to decorate our home during the holidays. My tree may not be totally traditional, but I hope you like it. I enjoy making the decorating a family activity with Rich and the kids. I hope Victoria and Joseph will carry on my love for holiday decorating as well. I guess I just have to wait and see. This year I was lucky enough to get Rich to help, even if that just means hiring a crew to decorate our home on the outside. 

There's nothing like Christmas to bring families together, but there is always added stress. It was great to watch everyone decorating and preparing for Christmas in their homes, in their own special way. My heart goes out to Ashlee for feeling that she is in a lose-lose situation. But as Jacqueline told her, she is in a win-win situation because she has two families that love her dearly. It’s sometimes hard to see the positive, but I hope Ashlee can begin to see how much her family loves her beyond the material things.

How about those bracelets that Caroline had designed for her kids. I loved the concept and idea behind it all -- An honor and commitment to each other to never break those ties. Caroline, I hope you don’t get upset if I decide to copy your idea one day. 

While families are coming together during the holidays, I know that I am not alone when I say that these gatherings can be "the most wonderful time of the year" as well as the most stressful time of the year. So many Christmas movies are made each year that highlight how this time of the year forces everyone to think about unresolved family issues. While it is much easier to sweep all the issues under the rug, that does not make them go away. I myself am guilty of that as well. 

I completely understand how Teresa and her husband must have been feeling before going to Melissa and Joey's home for their Christmas party. After all, this was the first time that the entire family was going to be together again after baby Joey's christening. I am glad that they did decide to come to the party despite their apprehension. In that same spirit, I have always tried to do the right thing. Unfortunately, my intention to clear the air was again misinterpreted. I too had my own reservations about being together with everyone under one roof since the christening. But when Rich and I drove up to the Gorga house that feeling was quickly dismissed. I felt that we had stepped into a live Hallmark Christmas card. Their home was beautifully decorated, no attention to detail was overlooked. Everyone was definitely in the holiday spirit. 

When Joe and Teresa arrived I immediately wanted to try and put things behind us. It took so much courage for me to approach her again, since she shut me down at the Posche fashion show. I was hoping that maybe she would be receptive. What is so wrong about approaching my cousin at a Christmas party and trying to share a moment with her? How can we move forward if we can’t let go of the past? We haven’t talked since Posche, so I wanted to put this ridiculous fight behind us. Instead of faking it and sweeping the hurt feelings under the rug, I wanted to explain where I was coming from and put the issue to bed, that’s all. But Teresa didn’t give me a chance. Her quick dismissal really took me by surprise. I am the first to admit that I am not perfect. I only try to do the best that I can, and in spirit of Christmas, it felt like the right time. 

What happened next is something that I am not very proud of. I allowed Teresa's pettiness to get the best of me. I pride myself on being a person who remains in control under difficult situations. Unfortunately, Teresa's response blindsided me. Before things got out of hand I chose to walk away, but I immediately became very emotional and then enraged. She’s humiliated me not once, but twice now, and although I completely regret my language, I hope you can understand why I had to let it out. She made me feel so small and pathetic, and for what? Give me a chance to work things out with you. Give me the chance to explain myself so the two of us can try to go back to the way things used to be. Thank God for Rich. I am so lucky to have him in my life. When I am hurting, instantly Rich comes to my defense and wants to make it right for me. Rich is so crazy and funny. He blows up immediately, but calms down just as fast and becomes the voice of reason and common sense.

Judging by others' behavior that night, I am glad that I chose to walk away and not add to the drama. It was a beautiful party as you can all see. I certainly did not want to do anything to take away from all the effort that Melissa and Joe put into the party.

Janice Maeditere said, "Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts." My heart will continue to be open to mending my relationship with Teresa. Only time will tell if we succeed.

Lots of love, 

Kathy xoxo

Follow my family and me on Twitter @kathywakile, @richardwakile, @victoria_wakile and @josephwakile. Be sure to LIKE Richard and my Public Facebook pages. 

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Dina Manzo opens up about her comments regarding her family and why she kept quiet for Teresa Giudice.

This reunion was very hard to watch. What most of you don't know is I went in there with the intention of keeping silent on my family issues, as I have for the past four years. An incident happened at the reunion, and I won't even give that person the attention they crave, but it set me off to tell my truth. Well some of it at least. I felt I was very P.C. this whole time, but now I had enough. Some people will push you because they know deep down inside you won't push back, but being "zen" is all about setting boundaries, and learning that has been part of my spiritual path. 

I don't want to go into much other than saying my answer about Nic came out very cold because there was more to it. I wish it were that easy to get to know him, but unfortunately it's not because of my relationship with his mother, and I'm just being honest. He is not missing me nor does he know what is going on with this family because of NOTHING more than his age. Anyone who is trying to make people think otherwise, especially his mother, should be ashamed of themselves. The Mother Theresa comment was about people comparing how I raise money for children with cancer yet don't help him. I went on to say how blessed my brother is to live in a county in New Jersey that people actually move to for the autism programs offered. How I see joy in him because of the progress he is making. He is a happy, beautiful child that is on his way to recovery, and although I know it's a struggle for parents of children on the spectrum, there is NOTHING wrong with seeing joy in them instead of sorrow. I appreciate all the parents of children with autism for their emails, tweets, etc. understanding and APPRECIATING that I see Nic as a 4 year old beautiful boy and not labeling him as anything other than that.

Kathy and Melissa should not have challenged me about "family values" if they don't want to hear my side. I kept quiet for the most part for TERESA, not wanting to bring up old wounds when she was dealing with so much around her sentencing. It was a hard position for me to be in. 

I have no words for my sister on WWHL. She could have answered the no engagement question and left it at that. The lies that followed after were extremely hurtful and must have come from the sheer frustration of having to defend her position on the engagement party. All of you have seen I have ONLY ever said positive things about her no matter what I was feeling. 

Please take a moment to watch this video I made on my truth about it all. I will post all the details on my look next week, but you can get to everyone involved -- from hair to dress  -- on my Instagram post on Sunday. Speaking of Instagram, I invite you to join me on a post a day for the month of November to share what you are thankful for. Showing gratitude for what you have in life just allows the universe to send you more to be thankful for! Trust me, it works!

Sending lots of love, 

Dina xo