Kathy Wakile

Kathy gives her thoughts on Joey and Teresa's meeting and Teresa's comments about their relationship.

on Jun 20, 20110

Hello, everyone! Happy Father's Day. It was a gorgeous weekend here in New Jersey. We went to the shore and had a terrific time with family and friends. Lots of fun in the sun. Way too much eating, but what do you expect when you get the families together? Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. 

Here we go, I know that you have all been waiting to see Joey and Teresa sit down and talk things out. It was a very big step for Teresa to write a letter to Joey in hopes of resolving things. I'm curious however, why she had such a hard time telling Joey what she was sorry for after she wrote an apology in the letter? Maybe it's just me, but if you're making an apology, it loses a bit of sincerity if you can't explain what you are sorry for. The look of disappointment on Joey's face broke my heart. He looked like he was five years old again. As they sat there looking at each other, the only thing that comes to my mind is "familiar strangers." It's very sad for both of them. 

I'm glad that Teresa remembers the time when she and I were close. Since I am the older cousin, I often had a different perspective on things. I always try to be fair and help her see another point of view. Often times it isn't what Teresa wanted to hear, but if you can't rely on family to give it to you straight, then who will? That's the funny thing about advice, no matter how strong it comes at you, it's up to you to take. Unfortunately if you don't take advice, sometimes the cost can be very high. Hearing and listening are two very different things. At least now I know Teresa did actually hear me when I was talking. 

I find it very funny that Teresa calls me two-faced. She calls me her sister, then says I was trying to get to her by being close to her brother and Melissa. Let me set one thing straight, Teresa and Joey are both my cousins, so of course it's important that I reach out to their significant others. Stop trying to drag me into your problems with Melissa. If family IS everything to her, why does she say that I did her a favor by hanging out with Melissa and Joe so now she doesn't have to see either of us? And she's calling me two faced? It's exhausting just listening to the way she tries to explain herself. 

139 comments
biorkcori
biorkcori

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mequesta
mequesta

I like u!but u say family is important 2 u,if u knew Teresa didn't like Melissa y would u become her bff!ur first loyalty should've been Melissa (seeing that u & Teresa were like sisters) Joey is the one who loyalty should b 2 his wife not yours.I know u r a good person,that I have no doubt about!It's ok 2 like Melissa,she is very likable!

Melissa has sisters,If I their sister didn't like someone u better believe they wouldn't become bff w/ that person! They'll b nice 2 that person but not bff! Don't u feel u hurt teresa?right or wrong Teresa is ur true family not ur cousin wife!

mequesta
mequesta

I like u!but u say family is important 2 u,if u knew Teresa didn't like Melissa y would u become her bff!ur first loyalty should've been Melissa (seeing that u & Teresa were like sisters) Joey is the one who loyalty should b 2 his wife not yours.I know u r a good person,that I have no doubt about!It's ok 2 like Melissa,she is very likable!

Melissa has sisters,If I their sister didn't like someone u better believe they wouldn't become bff w/ that person! They'll b nice 2 that person but not bff! Don't u feel u hurt teresa?right or wrong Teresa is ur true family not ur cousin wife!

Same everywhere
Same everywhere

Kathy, you try to come off as a better person than everyone, even Caroline. I come from a third world country, and did not expect that this thing goes on in a developing country as well. I have seen my mom's side of family being destroyed by her own cousin, so this season of New Jersey housewives is so similar to what is going on in my own life as well. Often these " so called" blood relatives try to act nice to both sides, then they want to be friends with the male cousin and their new wife and bash the female cousin; this is what happened in my family too. This female cousin of my mom, rather than helping dissipate the tension, would even exaggerate and complain about my mom's sisters and my grandmother to my uncle's wife; every sentence my mom's sisters and grand mother would utter would be analyzed and analyzed. Actually my aunt was not that bad in the beginning, and my mom, her sisters and her mom did not even know that my aunt had been disliking them for many years, because on the surface the relationship was so good. But this female cousin had stirred so much vermon, everything that was said she analyzed in a different context, that my uncle and aunt can not stand anyone of their family, except of course when they need help, then the first person they ask is my mom and not that cousin that creates the wedge. Once, when there was a gathering in my uncle's house, this witch cousin pulled my aunt into my uncle-aunt's bedroom, and started to complain about my mom's family- her own cousins and aunt, when everyone was right in the same house. So don't give us " I am blood, I am her cousin"Even me, who am not familiar to the different cultures here, can read from your words and actions what you are doing. If you loved your cousin you would stop hang out with Joe/Melissa until things got better. That is what I do; once my own cousin was having problems with his mother , my aunt.. I helped solve their problem. I said to him and his wife" You mom is the one that loves you the most, I may love you and help you on some occasions, but it is your parents who will do it unconditionally" and to his wife I said " Maybe your parents and your own siblings love you more, but after that it is his parents and his siblings that love you more than any one else" Now she has realized it and is so nice to her in law-s, my aunt and uncle. Of course, I could have agreed to their complaining and stirred more distrust.It is so clear that you want Teresa to look bad, and are agreeing with everything Melissa says, although in your heart you know she is wrong. Melissa is saying all those things to Joe just to look nice in Joe's eyes, but clearly she doesnot want to make peace with Teresa and her parents; she does not want to share Joe with them, she wants to spend time with only her sisters and her side of the family. Her cheap sisters do not want her to spend time with them because the more she spends time with Joe's side, the less they can enjoy at her expenses. They are more gold diggers than Melissa herself. If her husband were poor and Teresa were rich, she would spend more time with Teresa than her own family. You also have one son and daughter, and one day this wil happen to your family too. Then if Melissa's or Teresa's daughter take your son's side, you will know how it feels...

MISS KIMA
MISS KIMA

YOUR OK UNTIL U START BASHING TERESA AND HER AND MELISSA IS BOTH WRONG AND FAMILY SHOULD COME FIRST TO YOU...GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF MELISSA'S ASS AND STAY NUETRAL....MELISSA CARES ABOUT MELISSA ONLY AND HER SISTERS BACK HER UP...AT LEAST SHE HAS HER FAMILY BEHIND HER EVEN WHEN IN OUR EYES SHE IS WRONG TERESA NEEDS HER FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT!!!! WHERE IS YOUR LOYALTIES???

sexyd
sexyd

I think you, Teresa & Joe are a beautiful family, but how can you take sides with Melissa, Teresa is your blood, Melissa has been fake since day one, Joe deserves better than her.

kayp
kayp

Even though, you appear to not be "taking sides" or not wanting to get caught up in the drama, you keep putting yourself in it and is in fact taking sides. You reached out by inviting Melissa & Joe to hear their side, but didn't feel the need to do the same for Teresa and her husband. You question Teresa's sincerity when she met up with her brother, she clearly didn't know what she had done to cause this tension and her brother doesn't have a clue either. All he could bring up is Melissa's cookies??! Joe never said what the real reason behind this drama. I think you should concentrate on your family which is very lovely by the way and leave Teresa and Joe to work it out, just like Melissa should

Persiaa
Persiaa

Kathy-Please write a cookbook. Those desserts looked amazing.

Samantha001
Samantha001

I THOUGHT I MIGHT LIKE YOU A LITTLE BY NOW....NOT AT ALL!!!! GET OFF OF TERESA'S CASE. IF I HAD YOU FOR A COUSIN...I WOULD STICK WITH MY FRIENDS TOO. YOU CONTINUE TO STIR THE POT..CAN YOU COOK ANYTHING ELSE IN THE KITCHEN BESIDES TROUBLE???

Nelly123456
Nelly123456

Kathy, did you notice that Melissa and joe didn't exactly tell you what happened at the christening. Why do you think they looked so guilty when the went to eat at your house the next day. Teresa didn't ruin the christening, they did. Also when you talked to Teresa at thhe fashion show about the christening, you were talking to her with the assumption that she was in the wrong... youe didn't even really bother to ask her what happened. I think this is why she was sooo shocked and caught of guard about the conversation. She's your cousin... don't do that again. Because if someone hurts your family, it's family first, and you should have had your cousins back after what they did at the christening.

Henley321
Henley321

Wow... what a bunch of mean posters! Criticizing a member of the family for blogging their thoughts? What is Kathy supposed to say? At least she is being authentic. Since watching this drama is entertainment for viewers, really, who are we to judge?

Melany in FL
Melany in FL

Kathy, you are delight and I am so glad you joined the Bravo cast. You have a level head and genuineness about you that I love. Also, I've really enjoyed watching your family and the Gorgas, as well.

I think you have every right to have your say about the Teresa and Joey feud, because you are part of this family, you have been there from the beginning and know the history. Since this is a reality show, I see that you are simply being authentic (unlike other some other reality celebs).

The only time I have read so many other unkind comments by posters was when Danielle Staub was on the show. Funny how mean people criticize others for doing the same things they are doing. Ignore the haters Kathy and keep smiling!

Irene Paino
Irene Paino

Kathy, I hope that you, Theresa and her brother Joe are able to become as close as you once were. I have had something similar happen in my life and the ones who lose out are the kids. Your daughter would be a wonderful "big sister" for Theresa's daughters. Also, have you ever considered writing a cookbook? The items you made for Thanksgiving looked very professional. It must be genetic Theresa and you look like sisters and both appear to be excellent cooks. God Bless your family.

deb35
deb35

Kathy love you, and your family!!! You are the ONLY "REAL" housewife on the show! All the others are just smiling for the camera.

SF Fan
SF Fan

Kathy,

You have a very nice family, I wanted to start with that. But it is VERY obvious that you've chosen a side.

Janice M.
Janice M.

Love that son of yours. He made me smile.

kvammer9
kvammer9

I don't like you at all. I am glad you are not part of my family!

kvammer9
kvammer9

Kathy, what is wrong with you? You are taking Melisa over Teresa, Not Joey over Teresa. You are just plain mean, butt out! We all love Teresa, so you should maybe jump to the other side for more air time!

Deb Schneider
Deb Schneider

Kathy, I really believe that both you and Joey want to be as close with Teresa as you once were. I really wish that for you because all three of you are really good family to each other underneath all of the tension. I do hope that you and Joey will one day be able to see that Melissa is constantly playing on both of your heartstrings in order to divert your attention AWAY from her own accountability in how SHE treats Teresa. All you have to do is listen to her. Every little thing Teresa does and doesn't do is a reportable crime that breaks Melissa's heart, even though Melissa does the same things herself TO Teresa, and who is the squeaky wheel that's always getting the sympathetic grease from everyone (including your friends)... Melissa. I believe a lot would change if you and Joey held Melissa up to the same standards to which you hold Teresa. I really am pulling for you, Joey and Teresa. Melissa has her own agenda.

TaiChiJes
TaiChiJes

More Kathy and family, please! What a beautiful family!!

Viewer21044
Viewer21044

I was starting to like you. . . and then I read this week's blog. Why haven't you reached out to Teresa? You all sat around at dinner saying, if they had come to me, I would have helped. Well, is it to late now to offer a sincere helping hand?? I don't think so. It's clear your allegience is with Melissa. Own it. At first I thought you were going to be another Caroline . . . a voice of reason; however, you're not. You've got a long way to go before you get there. I hope to begin to like you again. I think your kids are adorable and I like your husband.

Wallflower
Wallflower

You really need to stay out of their business Kathy. In the end, Teresa and Joe are going to reconcile (and probably Melissa too) and you are going to be the outsider.

Kathy lil
Kathy lil

Kathy, I really believe you mean well. Often times, hurt people hurt others. Teresa looks like she is coming from a position of pain.

Her actions are really just a call for love.

JackifromPA
JackifromPA

Wow, not cool Kathy. You say how close you were to Teresa and then you bash her time and again.

fan of yours
fan of yours

I enjoy reading your blog and love the insights you give into Joey and Theresa's falling out. There's always more than two sides to a story, so keep up your honest insights, they make a nice change.

FTWTX
FTWTX

All 3 of you need to quit criticizing, quit explaining and making excuses and move on. Leave the past behind you and be the best friend you can be or can afford to be to each other. Of course Teresa thinks you're being two-faced. If she didn't before she surely will after seeing your interviews on the show. Be the older cousin and the wiser cousing. Make an effort. Can't hurt to try.

bellad
bellad

I really like you but I agree with those that say stay away from Melissa. She does not look good in these episodes. I can see why T has issues with her. I would have issues with her. Hopefully the family can make up but your role is to help mend fences not fuel the flames. Spend some time with T. Watch your back with Melissa.

Zoe2u
Zoe2u

I'm not sure how you expect Teresa to react when you have clearly chosen sides. I would be annoyed and untrusting of you as well. She is your cousin. If you want to reconcile with her you should work on staying neutral. You are clearly good friends with Melissa, and you are not shy about expressing who's side you're on. The bottom line is that Teresa is your blood relative. Melissa is NOT. If you choose to take her side, don't complain about and talk about how sad you are about the loss of your relationship with Teresa. In the end your choosing sides is fueling the fire.

surfmom
surfmom

I like you Kathy. I think you are a lovely person. Just please stay out of Joey & Teresa's business.

Raybae
Raybae

Kathy, how low can you be for talking another person's personal business ( your cousin at that!) and fan the flames between her and her brother. Shame.

lree44
lree44

kathy, a cousin stays out of brother and sister issues and stays in touch with both of them, period.no comments about either of them.

doo
doo

why do you act like you are soo sweet but you hand out anti teresa zingers right and left. mindless spending? a mercedes cause teresa yelled at you ? hmm and by the way very wrong time and tact for that conversation at the fashion show. i believe if i had a wii i would have beaten teresa at the response. how about joe gorgas closet hes got more clothes than my local department store. you are so concerned for teresa you havent invited her to your house (joe and mellisa)or have gone to teresas house(LIKE CAROLINES)i believe thats called being two faced and its not attractive or endearing. i think you are better than that but?

gglo
gglo

I understand that you are entitled to your opinion everyone is. If thats how you feel thats how you feel. But what I dont understand is how can you say you want to mend fences then you turn around and write this blog. I know we dont see what happens behind closed doors. But someone who truly wants a happy loving family would not write a blog bashing their own family knowing the personal issues that they are going through. Its like beating a dead dog. Why?????? Stay positive comment on the show and stray away from any negativity. I have not once seen an article or a blog where Teresa's mentions your name as many times as you have mentioned her in this blog. Count how many times you mentioned her and it was all negative. Wow.... You seem like a nice person but please stop you are making a mockery of your family..... Another thing. I dont care how upset I am. I would never allow any outsider to speak about my family the way you allow others to speak about Teresa. I doubt she would allow anyone to talk about you either...

LinZ from FL
LinZ from FL

I think Theresa was unable to say what she is sorry for because no one has yet told her what she did to them. It's hard to say sorry for something you don't know you did.

Viewerroute66
Viewerroute66

Kathy, have you ever thought of taking a good long ride on your bicycle like from the shores of Jersey to the shores of Maryland and back? I think it would do you a world of good to clear your head of all the family business and we the viewers would benefit by hearing about all the fine seafood places you discovered during your trip.

StacLnn
StacLnn

My feelings toward you is that you want people to think that you're the heart-on-your-sleeve cousin that just wants your family together again when in reality, your an affirmation of the pot-stirrer. You claim to want peace between a sister and a brother and you even drummed up the water in the eyes when you mentioned the thought of your own children being like Teresa and Joe....gimme a break. You need to step back and be quiet and let those that have conflict figure it out for themselves. Minding your "older" cousin business is what you need to do so that they can handle their own problems without comments (yours) from the "peanut gallery." By the way, the time and energy you and your husband spend on comparing attitudes to Teresa's speaks volumes on who is really only interested in the solution to the problems. I think with all the digs being thrown, your word is blurred.

bravo fan in pa
bravo fan in pa

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN REMAIN OBJECTIVE ENOUGH IN THIS SITUATION. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY PUTTING TERESA DOWN AND REALLY ARE MUCH MORE LOYAL TO MELISSA. SMART THING WOULD BE TO REMOVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY AND LET THESE TWO GROWN WOMEN TRY TO MEND A FRAGILE RELATIONSHIP. IF YOU AND TERESA COME OUT ON TOP B/C OF THAT---GREAT! IF NOT, HANDLE THINGS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. DON'T BE SPEAKING FOR ONE ANOTHER. NOTHING IS EVER RELAYED THE WAY IT SHOULD BE AND COMES OFF AS A SMEAR CAMPAIGN!

kathyfanxoxo
kathyfanxoxo

Kathy has the right to her opinion. It's her family afterall. A few weeks ago when she tried not to comment on the drama filled episode people got upset. Now that she is giving her opinion on what happened in the episode(and what she knows first hand as this is her family) people are still upset. Kathy is there when the cameras are off. So if she is leaning towards the side of Joe and Melissa it's for a reason! There's nothing wrong with Kathy being friends with Melissa. I wonder how people are going to react when they see how Jaqueline and Caroline become friends with Melissa?

Kathy and her family are so positive. I hope she writes that cookbook too!!!

Deb_C
Deb_C

Kathy, I find you surprisingly down to earth and likable, so I'm dismayed by the way you keep throwing fuel on the fire in the Teresa-Joey rift. Have you noticed the way both Jacquelyn and Carolyn are supportive of Teresa yet encourage her to make amends with her brother and call her to task when she behaves badly? I understand that you are closer to Joey and Melissa and that you were once also close to Teresa, but your comments will not help to bring the family back together. And I really have to wonder about Melissa's motive for joining the RHONJ this season. Everyone acknowledges that Melissa and Teresa compete with each other to be the best. You question whether family is really important to Teresa. If family is so important to Melissa, why go on national television to bash Teresa and Joe?? There was never any family bashing on the show until Melissa came along. Melissa has said that as the season goes on the viewers will see what kind of person Teresa really is. I'm guessing that for Melissa this is the ultimate contest. The TV audience will see that Teresa is a phony, Melissa will be victorious, and Teresa will kiss her feet when she realizes that her sister in law has won. I really can't imagine why else Melissa thinks her presence on this show will fix things. Danielle must be having a good laugh.

Tamalamadingdong
Tamalamadingdong

Kathy, I like you but don't like the way you throw Teresa under the bus. You say a lot of bad things about her too. You say that Joe is dried up and a lot of things that are not necessary. You have made it clear that you are on Mellisa's side and there obviously are sides. Therefore, that is going to be hard to Teresa to forget even when this blows over. I hope you all can be the bigger person and say enough, forget it and let's be a family again.

Viewer LF
Viewer LF

I think your Blog is immature. You clearly have taken a side instead of being a neutral and positive person in this drama. Before Joe and Teresa met Melissa said “Unless she (Teresa) fesses up to what she’s done, she’s not even going to have a brother.” She also told Joe to call her when he was done because they were going to meet you for dinner afterwards. I know if it was my husband meeting his sister, I would have said “I hope the two of you can agree to put the past in the past. If it goes well, relax and have dinner with your sister. It’s long overdo.” Instead, Joe walked into the restaurant with a chip on his shoulder and tried many times to have Teresa knock it off.” He walked in with blame for his entire family including his sister, mom and dad.

In my family the children respect the parents. The grandparents are reached out to, and would never be judged by their volume of calls to the grandchildren. Joe said shame on his parents, and had the nerve to say his parents should have the phone ringing off the hook to speak to his children. Also, family may hurt one another without intentional malice. People assume things and take actions personally when it had nothing to do with them in the first place. Sometimes you have to let go of the past to move on. Teresa was at that point, and Joe seemed ready to do that if he didn’t have you and Melissa to warp his feelings.

It was clear that Melissa has no plan of wanting Joe to just bury the hatchet until she throws it around a while first. She wants Teresa to apologize and acknowledge wrongdoing. Sadly, Melissa and Joe feel that they acted appropriately in the past, and have laid the entire blame on Teresa. Her letter said I’m sorry if I hurt you. I think Melissa has caused her husband to feel a lot of hurt from Teresa by enhancing the negative and ignoring the positive. You play into that, and do the same thing very well. Melissa did her “poor Melissa” crying routine to her husband, and you did the “Teresa hurt me but I’m not important right now” thing also. You and Melissa are a lot alike. You both have to deal with Teresa on your own. Joe should be left to be Teresa’s brother without the two passive/aggressive drama queens feeding him a bag of negative energy.

At the beginning of the show, your line is “People think I am sweet, but don’t cross me.” I chuckle when I hear that because I think you appear anything but sweet. You may want to be a true cousin, a friend, and a sister to Joe, but it’s clear that you are not acting like any of those things to Teresa.

Maribel
Maribel

I understand Kathy, Melissa and Teresa am not taking sides, but all u fans have to remember only the family knows what is really going on and how long. We only see what tv shows us, the problem seems to have been going on for too long, hopefuly we get to see them make up and be the happy family they deserve to be. By watching you can see that both Joey and Teresa are stubborn, you can also tell they miss each other. Every family has their issues and they work it out amongs themselves. In this case Kathy is family and she's included. Personaly I feel Teresa just didn't want Kathy to get close to Melissa as she has. Teresa has to remember Kathy is her cousin and at the end of the day she's still family. I wish you all resolve your differences regardless if its on or off camera just resolve them. I know how it feels from personal experience, I've been in your shoes Kathy, Melissa and Teresa.

Richstevens
Richstevens

Ok my last comment didn't post so here's hoping (fingers crossed) What you said had merit. I believe as a family member you have every right to opinion! Every family has disagreements. T's fans have to realize that you are family as well. By bashing you they are bashing her. Anyway stay "Golden"

rhonjlongtimefan
rhonjlongtimefan

This whole thing is so sad to see. I can tell that deep down both Melissa and Teresa are great people. They are both hurt and cannot let go of the past nor can they see the other persons point of view. Kathy i think sometimes you are misunderstood but it appears to me you are a peace maker. Do not pick sides and do not bash Teresa even if your opinions about her seem relevent and correct to you because even if you are accurate in feeling those feelings it makes you look bad. continue to look for the good in both Melissa and Teresa and do what you can to help them mend this. Joey Gorga was right they are so similar ! if they could get past the past and work to make a better future i could see them being close. Teresa wants a sister figure in both you and Melissa i can tell. Use your strength and positive energy to be the Peace maker. Dont let yourself get dragged into the petty stuff.

Rosie777
Rosie777

Wow there is alot of hate. I really like you Kathy you seem genuine. Hope everything goes well for you and your family.

BucksCountyHW43
BucksCountyHW43

Kathy - you should either mind your own business or get those girls together and make them find common ground. If you know both of them so well I can't believe you cannot say "Listen girls you are being ridiculous". Aren't you older than them? It is time to be a leader and not a follower - what do you have to lose? A leader, stands their ground and makes changes, your blog for this week sounds like a hamster on a wheel. If you were more like Caroline Manzo, you'd have the Gorgas and Guidices over for Sunday dinner. In the long run you may just be betting on the wrong horse!

Anna UK
Anna UK

I wanted to believe you were going to be a breath of fresh air, Kathy ie a nice, well-adjusted, well-meaning new addition to the Housewives of New Jersey team. But I think however caring you pretend to be, underneath you're just as manipulative and vindictive as some of the more outspoken housewives. But your act is perfect. You almost had me fooled, well like I said almost .....!!!

ChristinafromMN
ChristinafromMN

Kathy, it's so obvious that you will always be on Melissa's side. I mean you even spend Holidays with her family instead of your own. Why is that? Melissa just dramatizes and acts like she is so innocent when she's absolutely not. Your and her jealousy against Teresa is what bonds you both together. It's sad.

BucksCountyHW4
BucksCountyHW4

Kathy - I don't feel you are loyal either. You stir the pot as well. I am not saying T is right either, but what you did at the fashion show was apauling, unexcusable. You should be the one getting those girls together and saying enough is enough. If you know them both so well you mean to tell me you can't find common ground for them. Pull out the contract idea you have for kids and be a leader. You are a follower who may be betting on the wrong horse.