Cast Blog: #RHONJ

A Work in Progress

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

A Work in Progress

Melissa is just thankful for how far things have come between the Gorgas and the Giudices.

Hello again! How is everyone? Sorry it's taken me so long to sit down and write to you, but the weather has been so beautiful in Jersey that I've been taking full advantage and playing with the kids outside! Can you believe this Indian Summer? Well it's October, so it's that time of the year that we start to eat a lot again! I just started with a new trainer so I can eat everything and then work out! I absolutely love October! It's my favorite month!

So here we are at the end. Can't believe it! Will you miss us? I will miss you and all your wonderful comments and well wishes. Thank you so much for an amazing first season. It was a little rough in the beginning, but I held in there and knew my true colors would show. It's amazing to see how Joe and his family went a complete 180 from the first episode to the last. Thank you, Jesus! That makes me happier than you know. That's all he ever wanted, that's all he was looking for.

The season finale was really about family. It was so beautiful to see Kathy and Victoria. The love she has for her children is incredible. And Rich with Victoria's date was hysterical! Then you see how Jacqueline and her family come together and support Ashley. They will do anything to help her find happiness. And the Manzo clan is always a strong unit that supports and loves each other. I was happy we got to see the Gorgas and the Giudices come together as a family in this episode as well. We are a work in progress, but there is love at the root, and I will always try to keep us on the right path.

When the stylist, Meital, was at my house she was styling me for another performance not the family picture. Obviously I would never wear any of those outfits to the family picture! She owns Reve Boutique in Englewood, NJ. All the Housewives shop at her store, every single one of us! I've been going to her for about eight years now. So she threw me off a little when she said that Teresa told her not to dress me or to style me, but I didn't make a big deal of it, I just ignored it. I have never approached Teresa on any of this, I never asked her why. I try not to argue about the things that are not going to hurt my life or my family. 

I went to Teresa's house that night for the family picture and didn't say a word. It's petty and I just wanted to wipe the slate clean. Did you see us all together at that family picture? It came out so beautiful, and that was such a great night! I felt complete inside and so did Joe! Those children are so innocent and so special and so beautiful, each and every one of them! My mother-in-law and father-in-law should be so proud of their seven healthy, beautiful grandchildren! And they both have one named after them (Antonia and Gino). What could be better? I just don't see how anything else could matter, I am so ready to put all the pettiness behind us and all the hurt feelings. Let's start fresh. Let's enjoy each other, and let the kids enjoy each other, before we know it they will be in high school. Why hurt one another, what does it get you?

So lets talk about the cookbook! Ugh! Why? Everything was so perfect! Each and everyone of us were in a good spot! Kathy, Caroline, Teresa, Jacqueline and I! Finally we could all just be together and have fun. I didn't make a big deal about it, I really think it's childish and kind of stupid. It just doesn't fit, it doesn't make sense. Everything was so good between us, why take that risk on messing things up again?

For one thing, I definitely don't copy off of Teresa and I don't have chairs on my front porch, so I really just don't get it. I decided not to make a big deal about it and not to tell my husband. Obviously he did find out about it, but not through me. I'm not going to let something this ridiculous start problems for us again. Even still, I don't think it is cool to write about your brother's wife negatively in a family cookbook. Those are his parents' recipes too.

As far as Caroline goes, I think those words were insulting to her good friend. Funny? Not so much. Again, I still don't get it, that is your good friend who has backed you up for years, why insult her and her family? I bet you the cookbook would have sold just as well without it. Well, maybe not, seeing as we are all writing about it and it's now huge news. LOL! OK so it worked, but now she lost a friend. It's sad, I hate to see them like this. I just wish she would have asked someone, anyone, for advice before she put it in the book and asked if she should do it or not. And if she did, I'm sure she asked the people who are getting a cut of the sales, because anyone who really loved her would have told her not to do it.

One thing I want to clear up is in the final credits it says that in April I had a party for Joey's first birthday and Teresa never showed. I didn't have a huge party, I had cake with our parents and Teresa was absolutely invited. Little Joey wasn't feeling well, so Teresa and I talked about how it wasn't a good idea to have everyone over and possibly get her girls sick, so she said she would come over the next week to see him for his birthday and give him his present. She came over in September to see Joey and give him his gift. To be honest, this show has brought us together and we spent more time as a family then we have in years. I will always back Teresa up or any of my friends and family when something is not true or misleading. Love it or hate it, I think it's better to be straight forward.

The reunion is next week, and it's going to blow your mind. A lot of your questions are going to be answered. It was a really long day, probably the longest day of my life. It was draining and hurtful and I hope I never have to do another one again like that, especially when things were so raw from the night before.

On a positive note, tune into Wendy Williams today! Caroline, Kathy, and I will be on We are also ringing the Stock Exchange Bell! How exciting! Joe is coming for that one!

The Best news yet is that On Display is in the top fifteen on iTunes right now! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you all for your support on this! I have the best people supporting me, good people, I can tell! Thank you! Here's the link to On Display. Help me get it into the top ten! (I didn't say a bad word to anyone on it either! LOL!)

The stylist Meital has a great website with incredible clothes on it!

Check in with my website for my new schedule! Lots of dates coming up to meet you guys! I'm also getting lots of questions on my shoes and my outfit from WWHL! I tell you everything I'm wearing in my blog, so get to the website now!

Follow me on Twitter too @melissagorga and on Facebook

I hope everyone has a magnifico giornata!!



Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Amber Marchese dishes on her experience this season on #RHONJ.

We made it Housewife friends! As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it! I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a “no surrender, never retreat” mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior. 

I am so blessed to have shared my experience and struggles with breast cancer -- the timing of my five year mark, the photo shoot, and growing my hair for five years then cutting it for charity -- it was nothing short of a miracle that the Bravo was able to catch that all. It was just meant to be and God was truly working his wonders. Cutting my hair was completely symbolic for me, since cancer no longer defines me. I will never forget, however the pain, fear, and anxiety is in my rear view mirror now. I can sometimes look back to remind myself where I came from, but it in no way defines my future. It is my promise to all of you, I will never take that for granted, especially knowing that there are thousands struggling with cancer every day. 

On to my perspective on the season finale! I am not quite sure why the twins make it a point to confront others in front of large crowds. As Teresa said, they had two weeks to call her and speak to her about what Victoria Gotti had said to us. If they had an issue or wanted an apology, so be it, but what ever happened to being a civilized human being and picking up the phone to call? They did the same thing to me. Two weeks went by without any phone call from them. In fact, they never returned any of my phone calls or texts! They decided to make a scene in front of an entire party. Difference is, this was at a charity event with children in ear shot. Can you blame me for not wanting to bring my babies to this event? I would have absolutely loved my children sashaying down the runway, but there is absolutely no way I would EVER allow my babies to hear what went on. I spoke with Teresa and I knew the twins never called her. So I knew exactly what was brewing, so did Dina. My children come first and mama was protecting her children. Dina was brazen enough to kick Jim and me out of the Florida home for less of an offense, why wasn’t Dina kicking the twins out because they were making a scene at her own charity function for children?! Can we say double standard? Where were her “heads rolling” that she claimed would happen if someone started anything at a Ladybug event? 

I will add that I completely understand how hurt the twins are. I can understand their anger. However, I cannot understand their way of handling conflict. That level of “hot headedness,” I would think, cools down at a certain age as we tend to calm ourselves, think clearly, and with wisdom. It is a level of discernment that should happen after a certain age or experience in life. 

Dina claims to be Teresa’s friend of 25 years, but does not back up her friend at all. If that was my friend, like Christine or Angelia, whom I have been friends for just as long, the twins would not have gotten to the letter T in stupid before I would be dragging them out of the event by their ears. Dina doesn’t have to agree with her best friend, but she should also never allow someone to call her friend of 25 years stupid, at her own charity function no less. Especially knowing what her friend is going through, which pales in comparison to some stupid rumor.

Since Dina has unwarranted venom towards my husband and has completely snubbed him for his previous contributions to The Ladybug Project, I am going to thank him on their behalf for coming up with the idea of the children's fashion show, as well as the connection to East Coast Stars. Since Jim did not attend, he also made a sizable cash donation on behalf of our family. Jim had also worked hard before all the drama to make sure Ladybug even had a venue with all costs covered, including food and beverage. The venue was ultimately not chosen, but Jim had still worked hard to give Dina an option for the event. Instead she chooses to focus on Jim’s comment about her IQ after she interrogated him at an extremely inappropriate, charged moment right after his wife was attacked. Despite her inappropriateness, Jim still ended up apologizing to her. However in my opinion she should have apologized to him for being so glaringly insensitive. 

It may seem as if my perspective is harsh for an end of season blog, LOL! But it is what I was feeling at the time. I owe it to you all to give you my honest interpretation of it. However, at the end of the season, I came out having a certain amount of respect for all of these ladies. Being on a reality show is hard; it pushes us to our limits and it is nothing short of psychological warfare. I truly hope you will support all of us, equally. Teams are good, and appreciated; however, keep the hate towards other Housewives out of it. Perspective are OK, different points of view are what make the world go round, however, when your perspective rises to a level of cruelty, it takes the fun out of our jobs. Allow us to be ourselves, with the good moments and even the moments when we could have handled ourselves a little better. At the end of the day, the Housewives are girlfriends that have strong personalitiesand disagreements -- we love, we hate, and we make up. That’s life. 

I have would like to thank: Denee Lockhart, Amy Malkoff, J. Vincent Jewelers, Cate Scaglione Photography, Castle Couture, Action Media Productions, Elinet Cakes, Christine’s Restaurant, Historical Names, East Coast Stars, Zaboyon, Greenhouse Flowers, Johnny Donavan PR, Anthony Palmieri stylist, Tony Bowls evening wear, and finally, my husband Jim and my mom, Pamula Aguero. 

It was an amazing experience that I would not change for the world. I want to thank all of you for you love and support. This was a wild ride. 

Many blessings to all!

Amber Marchese