Cast Blog: #RHONJ

High School All Over Again

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

High School All Over Again

Melissa talks about the difficulty of being the new girl.

Hi, everyone! How are you? Excited for Memorial Day weekend? I am just looking forward to going down the shore with my family and relaxing. 

It was a tough week. Reliving that first episode was brutal. I survived as I always do. I'm still here! Sorry to all my haters, but I'm not going anywhere! Something tells me that as the season goes on the haters may change their opinions. Well, I hope so at least. I will say that I do love how loyal the fans are to their favorites, it's sweet. I mean that and I get it. It's not exactly easy coming into a show as the freshman when you are with all the seniors that have been in school together for years. People have been watching those seniors for three years. Suddenly I'm back to my first day of high school remembering that knot you get in your stomach when you're the new girl. Well that knot has been there all week. You tend to feel like you have to prove yourself. It stinks and you start to wonder why they just don't see what a nice freshman you are. But If I just keep telling the truth, I won't get myself into a bind. It's the best way to go. 

Even if you're still trying to figure me out, know this -- I love family. I used to cry when my father didn't come home to dinner, because I wanted for us all to eat together. I love my husband's family as well. So if you don't like something I do, then that's fair, but if you are just listening to what someone else says, that's not. Give me the chance to defend myself, you can't believe what someone says just because they say it. You need to see the two-way conversation and then make your decision. 

Which brings me to answering some of your questions. Joe and I have never once asked Teresa to put us on TV. We were at all the kids' birthday parties, so of course you would see us in the background sometimes during past seasons. There was no way she wouldn't invite us to the kids' parties, what would everyone think? Where is her only brother, right? Of course we were there. Once again it was a "technicality," but on her part this time. We usually kiss hello and then say goodbye when it's over. To be perfectly honest with you, Joe never wanted to be around the cameras. We were happy for her when she got the show, and I told her she should do it. It might be easy to think that we were jealous that she was on TV, but that is not the case. I hope in time, viewers can understand where I am coming from. We never had the kind of relationship where I would call and say, "Why don't you do something with your brother and the kids, it would be cute for the show." I would feel so uncomfortable saying that, and she would look at me like I had ten heads. Even in episode when I saw them making the sauce, a tradition that her brother would usually be invited to as well, we still never called or argued once about that. Whether cameras are there or not, we just wanted to be a family. Period. There is nothing more to it than that. I know it might appear otherwise, but it's just not the truth. Oh one other thing, yes, I do write my own blog!

On to the second episode. First of all, trick or treating is my favorite! Did you see my two little bats and my pretty little peacock? I love them so much! So cute to see them on the screen, they are so precious to me. I have to admit I'm slightly obsessed with them. We went trick or treating for five hours that day and to two different neighborhoods. My feet were killing me! We had enough candy to fill our candy draw for a year. You will come to see that when my kids walk into a room, Joe and I just light up. We were meant to be parents. When I said, "I'm a wife and a mommy, and that's what I do best," I meant it. They are my life! 

OK, let's discuss Joe in the leopard dress. He's so annoying! Why couldn't he be something that would get me excited! Nothing embarrasses him, he's just that confident type of guy. God bless him, he's better than me. I wanted to crawl under the table when I saw that, but he was laughing hysterically! We had a really great night with my sisters and our friends. We try to do it now before we get old and never want to go dancing anymore, it keeps us young and fresh! At this point I'm really starting to like Kim D., but I am not so sure about Kim G. Time will tell. 

Loved watching Teresa play with her kids and their friends at the party she had for them. Those are the times I wish the kids could be together. That's all they have to remember when they get older. Friends come and go, but family is forever. Jacqueline's house looked like a great time too! I agree with her that fall activities are the best, and Jersey is gorgeous in the fall! 

Kathy and Rich invited us over to talk about what happened at the christening. They knew how hurt Joe and I were, so they wanted us to come talk about it. They are good people and know that Joe needed some family to talk to, and they were kind enough to offer that to us. I love them for that. As you can see, my husband was still so upset. I think he was expecting a phone call from his sister asking if we were all OK and trying to explain why she pushed him to that point, but he never got anything, He admits the way he reacted was not the right way, but bottom line is it was his son's christening. Families have blowouts, sometimes even tragic ones like this, but most of the time you get a phone call the next day. I think he wanted that from his sister. He wanted an apology for doing what she does best, causing a stir and getting everyone crazy when it all could have been avoided in the first place. He then would have told her he is so sorry for calling her garbage. He absolutely doesn't think she is. That's how family should get through tough times, talk it out and forget about it. I think Jacqueline hits the nail right on the head when she says, "Whenever Teresa says hello or congratulates someone, sh-- hits the fan.” I also think Jacqueline's face says it all when Teresa says, "I'm never confrontational." Hmm, Jacqueline might be on to something there!

I love Jacqueline's description of her belly button. I appreciate the fact that she doesn't take herself too seriously, I like her!

Here we are at the Posche fashion show, which I want to congratulate Kim D. on. It was an amazing show and had a huge turn out. I love their stuff! OK, OK so we all know I'm not shy, and I had a lot of fun walking down the runway! I did feel like a peacock though. Things like that excite me, you'll see why as the show goes on. I thought Jacqueline and Teresa did a great job, they both looked so pretty! Did you see my sisters cheering me on? We love each other so much. We support each other no matter what. That's what sisters do. If I saw one of my sisters robbing a bank, I wouldn't tell on her. Sorry, that's just the way it is! They really didn't want me to go over by Joe Giudice's mom because of some of the events that happened at the christening. I will never embarrass that family more than they already have, so I choose not to talk about it. Trust me, my sisters had my best interest in mind. They always do. But, being the person I am, I still didn't listen to them and walked over to say hello and gave her a kiss. That's what I believe was the right thing to do. Sometimes you just have to be the better person. I love my mother-in-law, and I will always respect her. Always! She's the reason I cook so well!

I also thought it was pretty funny when Teresa says, "Melissa doesn't phase me." Then all of a sudden we hear, "Caroline, Caroline!" and "Why is my sister-in-law talking to Kim G." 

When Kathy tried to talk to Teresa, I honestly think it was from the heart. Who else was going to do it? Joe and Teresa have no other family but her, so I think she felt like she needed to step up to the plate. I think it's safe to assume she regrets that. I'm sure you know by now whenever Teresa pauses, thinks for a minute, and you see that blank face come on, you know what's coming. When I asked why there was drama and yelling, Teresa went on to say something about her brother. I stopped her right in her tracks and let her know, not here, not when he's not here to defend himself. It's not right. I think she thought if she brought him up, everyone would forget that she just freaked out. 

You have to understand my situation, I am caught in the middle of a brother and sister quarrel. Sometimes the sister doesn't like to fess up to things she has done to hurt the brother-sister relationship. As you can see, it's nothing he has done before the christening, because when people ask her what the problem is and what went wrong, she always says she doesn't know. Sometimes she even blames it on the fact that he got married. This is so not true. If he or I ever did something wrong, believe me, Teresa would tell you. You would know by now. You will see that I do everything in my power to mend the fences here, watch and see!

I love my husband so much, and his happiness is important to me. The other most important thing to me are the kids and the cousins, they need each other. It's so great to have cousins backing you up, I know mine always do. That's what I want for my children. I know that's what everyone wants at the end of the day. I hope we can work this out!

You're taking a ride with us. You will see us laugh, and you will see us cry. I just ask that you don't be too judgmental until you know us a little better.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend! Love you guys!

Follow me on Twitter @melissa_gorga and on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/melissagorga.co. 

And check out my website, http://www.melissagorga.co. I have up a blog, fun pictures, and some of my favorite things! 

I hope everyone has a magnifico giornata!!

Xoxo,

Melissa

Melissa