I want to be in a better place with Teresa, and you can tell that I'm actually trying, but the constant jabs and negative comments play a big part in why our relationship unraveled in the first place. When I told Teresa that I am pursuing my dream of recording an album, she completely dismisses me and says I guess anyone can sing these days. I wish she would just say, "That's great, good luck with that," rather than say she's never heard me sing and try to put me on the spot to sing for her right then and there. I wasn't going to sing for her so she could cut me down. She's heard me sing before, so I don't know why she was saying she didn't. I remember when we were driving to my wedding shower, I sang in the car and I'll never forget it, because the same song kept playing over and over! Anyway, I wanted to move on so I congratulated her on the new cookbook because I knew it was important to her. I'm glad that she is leveraging being on the show to make opportunities for herself.
However, after Teresa said that my Joe built the recording studio to make money, it was hard to remain positive. My husband is a good guy who loves his wife and he is about the dream not the money. Joe has always been a hard worker and always will be. He built the studio in our basement so that I could be at home with the kids, who are always my first priority. After I put them to bed, I go downstairs and have some time for myself in the studio. I am a very hands on mom, and that's why Joe put in the studio in the house so that I could do both. I don't know why Teresa questions my skills as a mother and a wife. I think you can see that we live in a happy home and that my kids and my husband come first always!
At the play date I was just hoping that Teresa and I could have a little bit more normal conversation, but things have been so bad between us for so long that I don't know what normal is for us anymore. Sometimes it just seems so stressful and difficult to be together. I wish it would get to the point where it could be easy, and that's why I'm trying to pick my battles. It's honestly exhausting to carry on this way and we have been at it for years! One thing about Italians, we love hard and we fight hard, but come on, this is just too much. I never said a word to Teresa about her negativity on the play date; I just ignored it and honestly I should have just called her out on it right then and there. I can see where I have made mistakes, and believe me, I'm probably not done making them, but I really hope that one day she will stop saying that she just tells it how it is and see that sometimes you need to think about the other person for a moment. You can be queen 99 percent of the time, but it is OK for people around you, especially family, to do something that makes them happy and to try to be successful too.