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Melissa Gorga

Mending Fences

Melissa talks about trying to get Teresa and Kathy back on better terms.

Aug 10, 2011

I want to be in a better place with Teresa, and you can tell that I'm actually trying, but the constant jabs and negative comments play a big part in why our relationship unraveled in the first place. When I told Teresa that I am pursuing my dream of recording an album, she completely dismisses me and says I guess anyone can sing these days. I wish she would just say, "That's great, good luck with that," rather than say she's never heard me sing and try to put me on the spot to sing for her right then and there. I wasn't going to sing for her so she could cut me down. She's heard me sing before, so I don't know why she was saying she didn't. I remember when we were driving to my wedding shower, I sang in the car and I'll never forget it, because the same song kept playing over and over!  Anyway, I wanted to move on so I congratulated her on the new cookbook because I knew it was important to her. I'm glad that she is leveraging being on the show to make opportunities for herself. 

However, after Teresa said that my Joe built the recording studio to make money, it was hard to remain positive. My husband is a good guy who loves his wife and he is about the dream not the money. Joe has always been a hard worker and always will be. He built the studio in our basement so that I could be at home with the kids, who are always my first priority. After I put them to bed, I go downstairs and have some time for myself in the studio. I am a very hands on mom, and that's why Joe put in the studio in the house so that I could do both. I don't know why Teresa questions my skills as a mother and a wife. I think you can see that we live in a happy home and that my kids and my husband come first always!

At the play date I was just hoping that Teresa and I could have a little bit more normal conversation, but things have been so bad between us for so long that I don't know what normal is for us anymore. Sometimes it just seems so stressful and difficult to be together. I wish it would get to the point where it could be easy, and that's why I'm trying to pick my battles. It's honestly exhausting to carry on this way and we have been at it for years! One thing about Italians, we love hard and we fight hard, but come on, this is just too much. I never said a word to Teresa about her negativity on the play date; I just ignored it and honestly I should have just called her out on it right then and there. I can see where I have made mistakes, and believe me, I'm probably not done making them, but I really hope that one day she will stop saying that she just tells it how it is and see that sometimes you need to think about the other person for a moment. You can be queen 99 percent of the time, but it is OK for people around you, especially family, to do something that makes them happy and to try to be successful too. 

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Melissa, I like having your family on the show. You are fun to watch. However, I think you should not interfere between Kathy and Theresa.

AAAHHHHH!!! You need to let it go and stop talking about Teresa. You brought up Kathy to stir the pot. You then ran and tattled. You are a huge part of the problem.

I was hoping you'd comment on Danielle's accusations...it makes you look a little guilty that you didn't even give it a quick mention. Trust me, ppl are not forgetting about this.

All you and Kathy talk about is Teresa, get a life.

Melissa, I don't see anything wrong with using the show as a platform to further your career! Where the heck else are you going to get that opportunity? You'd be silly not to take advantage of it! I see that you have been trying, and it's very uncomfortable to see you get cut down at the pass EVERY time! And the fact that you talk to your sisters or Kathy about things, we ALL do! We ALL have family and friends we vent to! Who ever says otherwise is lying through their teeth! Hang in there girl, stay positive!

Melissa- you are really a beautiful person. I am really beginning to understand what you have been trying to say about Teresa all along. She is showing herself this season to be petty, jealous and mean spirited. It is kind of sickening to see how she treats you and Joe. She is not all about family....she is all about herself and that is coming out loud and clear this season.

Melissa, I just saw on the internet how you are such good friend with Danielle. Very interesting. Now Danielle isn't too happy you took her place and she is telling all. To quote Caroline "if you hang out with garbage, your garbage"

Melissa I do agree with you that "it is OK for people around you, especially family, to do something that makes them happy and to try to be successful too" , but to do it by stepping on someones back, especially a family members back is wrong. If, as you say, you've alway wanted this since you were a child, then why don't we see that you have paid your dues for years??? Why did you have to practice for the "song" in your closet? Why didn't you already have a studio in your basement? Only after sticktin the knife in Teresa's back and joining RHONJ is all of this taking place. Well I hope that you get what you came for quickly so that you can make your move to LA and leave my RHONJ alone and hopefully you'll take Kathy with you.

Melissa, I definitely see that you are trying. At the beginning of the season it wasn't clear to me why you were so upset with Teresa, but now I understand. Those constant digs are hard to put up with. But you did great! You are my new fave housewife!

When I first saw you on the show, was not sure I would care for you, however I do admire your marriage, your mothering & committment to family. All those disguised digs that Teresa has thrown at you really do show her true intentions & I believe much is jealousy,even though she does protest that belief. It is an ugly side of her, especially all the comments at the playdate, but you handled them well, good luck to you & your beautiful family.

How do the New Jersey women get into shape, especially after having children?

Hmmmmm...no mention of Danielle's accusation of you contacting her to get on the show?? Better talk now, if those emails do come out, you're ruined....

Great blog Melissa! Keep your head up. Her true colors will show. Don't worry about the haters.

You forgot to mention your contact with Danielle!?! You left that out of your blog because it's true!

I really believe that Teresa didn't want YOU especially to come on the show because you would out "shine" her! You totally do, she is sooooo jealous of you she could barely stand it! I love the show, I know this is real life for you ladies, and I think your a beautiful person inside and out!!! Keep your head up girl!! XOXO

Hey Melissa! I really think you are a great Mom and wife. I can't believe how hard Teresa is making this reconciliation for the two of your families. I wouldn't blame you one bit for snapping back at her, but you haven't which makes you the bigger person. I'm not sure when or if Teresa is ever going to move on, bite her tongue, and just be happy for you. To be honest I think she is jealous of the happy successful marriage and life you and Joe have together. It makes me angry and sad to see Joe Guidice bad mouth you and Joe Gorga so much. Teresa needs to tell him to knock it off.

All I saw was you hounding Teresa about Kathy. You wanted her to get mad and start something with you so you can go back crying to your little husband and say it was all Teresa. We know your game you don't need to try and explain yourself over and over to see if you can change our minds.

I like you and don't see you as malicious as others are calling you. You and your family are a joy to watch on the show. I love seeing your children with Teresa's kids. Hope all the families will just make up and move on to bigger and better things

You are about to be exposed to everyone - Gooo Danielle!

Mel,

Your kids are such angels, well behaved, YOU should be really proud.

Melissa, I think you are doing a great job to keep things positive. As for the Cancun idea, I heard it is pretty dangerous there right now. Might want to re-think the location. Good idea to get away though.

Melissa-

It has become very clear over these episodes the family dynamics now. You really are in a hard place with teresa. You can't win with her. You should be so proud of yourself taking in her jabs and stabs at you. You didn't even give a funny look at her insults. Shows how confident you are and can handle anything.

Someone had suggested you start a clothing line in your comments from last week. I think thats a great idea. I love your style and want to dress like you. But, Im only middle class I can't afford your clothes. Instead of writing a lame book that can be shelved, why don't you show stop and start a clothing line...

Thanks!

If you and Teresa have been "going at it for years" then why did you join the show? Why would you want the world to see your family drama?

Theresa is so right on when she said you only post your blogs after she does! You're kinda ridiculous.

You are gorgeous, funny, sweet and smart, keep it up it's eating her alive, you're beautiful. All these negative nellies are just jealous and ignorant.

Melissa, God bless you for having the patience you had with Teresa. She has consistently acted bitter, resentful, and jealous all season. This is probably why she did not want you and Kathy joining the show. Because her true feelings about her family would be exposed. Hence we she is in the situation she is with her loser husband juicy 'I have no financial responsibility' Joe.

Melissa, I find it so odd that you would say that Teresa kept getting digs at you during the playdate. Why do you keep asking her over and over about her relationship with Kathy? It seems you are deliberately trying to upset her.

Until you understand and accept your part of this failed family dynamic, you can expect that it will not improve.

you are probably a good cook and i am extremely glad to hear that you love and adore your mother-in-law but i feel it is your duty to bring Joe and Teresa closer. from what i have seen on the show it looks rather fake when you say you want to "attempt" to be nice to Teresa. the only person that can fix this problem that you are having with your family is you. Also i feel that right now is not the time to grow a stronger relationship with Kathy, right now you should only focus on fixing your relationship with your husbands sister.

Melissa I think you are trying too hard. Discussing the beef between Teresa and Kath at the New Year's Eve party was irrelevant. You brought the issue up once and leave it at that. Let Teresa choose when she wants to speak to Kathy. It takes time to heal from when a family memeber is hurt. I honestly think you are pushing th subject to make yourself look good on camera. At the end of the day Kathy should call Tereasa and they could speak privately and resolve their issues. The only time Kathy has stated she has tried to reach out to Tereasa is when the cameras are rolling. That is fake and Teresa can see through the BS. Just work on yourself and kids and stop melding in the the relationship of others unless asked.

I think you are an amazing addition to the housewives, I used to LOVE Teresa and now I am not a fan!! You are down to earth and very caring, loving and nuturing! You are not doing anything wrong, your husband should be so proud he has a wife who can hold her own and bite her tongue when things get heated, you are very classy! Teresa needs to lay off she is pure drama this year! Thanks for being on the show and dont stop being you!!!

I have been on here several times and saw where Melissa has blogged before Teresa. All of you Teresa lover's are too blind to see the truth. Teresa takes every opportunity she has to put Melissa down. I love you Melissa you are my favorite!!! And your kids are absolutely adorable.

Melissa you are awesome! It's obvious that Teresa is envious of you and is constantly taking jabs at you to try to bring you down. I think you should just jab her in the face and that will resolve it! Just kidding, but really...just keep remaining postive about things...seems like for every positive thing you say she has to make a negative comment, how sad. We have seen you cook many times throughout the show so we all knew it was a bunch of BS when she said you don't cook. It's also obvious that your Joe built you the studio because he loves you and wants to support your dream and it has nothing to do with money. That was really rude of her to say. Anwyays, keep being the smart, beautiful, and kind woman that you are and don't let others bring you down!

The differnece is Teresa used teh show and her own talents to jump start her career and take advantage of the opportunities offered to her, you on the other hadn are doing that at the expense of exposing yoru family drama, and using your fight with Teresa to do it. You know as well as I knwo that the only reason Bravo asked you and Kathy to come on the show in the first plsace was becuase of your issues with Teresa, once Danielle left they needed the extra drama to keep the viewers watching, hope it's all worth it.

Do you not watch the show? All you ever do is bring up kathy when you an teresa gwt alone if you didnt do that you all would be fine. Even Gia was surprised to hear you say you sing. Stop trying to play the victim from day one you have been aganist teresa on the first show letting kim g an the other lady approach you to talk about your sister n law but you are about family

You say how convenient it was that Teresa forgot about you cooking your pork dish, well how convenient it is for you not to mention that you are good buddies with Danielle. It's the one time I'd love to hear waht Danielle has to say.

Why do you think that Teresa has to talk about this drama at a party. I feel like you did that to make her look bad in front of her friends. At your party, you kept saying, "Eat, drink and be effing merry." Why not at the Brownstone. Think about it, everytime Teresa comes out, there are either fools trying to annoy her (Kim G and this lawyer), they ask you if you are going to speak to her after the Christianing, the lawyer introduces herself as the lawyer suing you sister in law, Kathy keeps stepping to her at parties. Give her a break. Was Teresa rough this time? Yes. But in the past has she not gone out of her way to apologize while your eyes were rolling with every sentence that came out of her mouth because you were thinking. To me, it was a repeat of that conversation with the roles changed. You say Kim G and Teresa are the same. I think you are the same as Teresa.

I like you and love teh fact that you are making an effort! hope all goes well in Cancun.

You and Joe definitely need your own spin-off with your family...it would be great fun.

Melissa, I have to wonder given all the negativity in the press that Joe and Teresa have received why you would subject your family to this. Also, since you guys weren't getting along, why would you jump in air your family laundry. I think that is why for some of us viewers it's hard to take you and Kathy seriously. If I'm feuding with my family, I don't want to discuss with anyone much less millions of viewers. Good luck, I hope all works out for you guys!

Melissa,

It's funy for you to try to get Teresa and Kathy back together. First Kathy befirends Kim G., a true Teresa hater, who leaks anything negative about Teresa to the press (I wonder where she's getting her information, Kathy perhaps??) Then you befriend Danielle, I'm assuming to do the same... You and Kathy might have some people fooled but it is quite obvious to me you and Kathy want to see Teresa fail. You talk about Jeezus all the time, do you think he's looking down and proud of the two of you. You say you are trying adn I haev seen some of that and I realize Teresa is difficult to deal with right now. But try to put yourself in her shoes. Imagine everything you have, you house, jewels ect in jepordy of being gone. How do you think that would effect you? By the way you eyes lit up at Christmas I believe you'd be feeling alot like Teresa. If you heart is pure about making things right with Teresa, and I hope it is. Stay away from Danielle!!!

Melissa, I find it truly creepy that Teresa is soo obsessed with her brother and it is so apparent that she is jealous of you and your lifestyle. (the one she once had until that chooch messed it up). I find her trying to live a life she can't have anymore, and he will never have class. God bless you and your husband and your children for putting up with the magnifying glass of this show. I always thought Teresa was living a life that was phoney and I give you credit for trying to mend the fence, however, she's got your husband's parents snowed with all her 'family' whining. As for poor Kathy, she is better off without Teresa as a friend/cousin. Teresa has not stepped up and apologized for all the nasty things she says about her own family. Maybe she should watch the re-runs and realize Kathy is NOT wrong about her. She is a lovely person and I wish her the best in what she is about to take on. She has a good support system, she will be fine. My mom always said "You can't choose your relatives, they are just a piece of the furniture, you can choose to sit and get comfortable or use them for firewood."

Why do you insist on hanging out with people that bash Teresa? Inviting Kim G to your party? Conspiring with Danielle? I can see why Teresa doesnt trust you. Try this out, admit that you both have wronged one another and let it go.

Honestly Mel all I see is you constantly thinking your right, you never take any blame at all! You constantly blame it on Tre!! I have to admit unless Tre is in it I fast forward when you are on, your a selfish brat, who only cares about her self and how far the show can take you. I doubt your singing ability will get you far, I agree with Tre anyone can sing these days!

How could you not address the collusion between you and Danielle, true or false? If in fact it is true, you should be tossed to the curb by the Gorga family. If not true, why on earth would you tweet with Danielle? You seem to be the person that values family the least. Teresa is your children's and husband's family. I think your motives are suspect until you address this issue.

Melissa, I really do like you. and I'm a fan of Teresa it sad to see the two of you act like this, for the price of fame. Please work on trying to stay a family.

When Teresa made the comment that Joe only built the studio to make money I thought to myself that she probably didn't realize that in essence she was saying that Melissa would in fact be successful. How would he make money if she wasn't doing well singing? Teresa is such a malcontent this season. I'm sure Melissa isn't innocent either but really, if this has been going on for years how many times can you take the highroad? I'm glad they added Melissa to the show this season!

I think what drives me insane abt you is that you really try to sell the fact that you are innocent!! You wanted Tre's life on the show, so you made it happen EVEN though the relationship was bad. And no she's no saint!!! But I can see why she's a lil aggrevated this season. She had a bad year then her family sneaks on the show. Pls stop being so fake so I can like you :/

You don't fool me! If i were Teresa I would not trust you either. Teresa, her parents and other relatives don't like you for a reason. Good luck on the singing career, though. Like Teresa said, everybody can make money singing on the real Housewives these days.

Melissa,

If want to really work things out with Teresa, stop pushing the Kathy issue. It's their relationship -- not yours. Stay out of Teresa's issues with Kathy. It's not your business nor your place to play "ref" between them. Teresa can speak to Kathy when she's good and ready. The fact that you continue to bring it up after Teresa has asked you not to makes me wonder if you're trying to create more issues between yourself and Teresa.