So on to New Year's Eve... New Year's Eve is such a special night to me. It's a chance to put everything behind you and start fresh. And I believe that whatever you're holding on to, however you are at midnight is going to set the tone for the rest of the year. Even though 2010 was a tough year, I was determined to be happy, happy, happy on New Year's Eve so 2011 would be wonderful. It was a great party at the Brownstone, and of course you didn't see all of it, but I think I was driving everyone crazy running around so happy all night. I kept squealing (yes, I know, I squeal when I'm happy), "Happy New Year! I'm so happy! Is everyone happy?" I went out of my way to greet Kathy and Richie as soon as they got there. I made sure to say Happy New Year to them at midnight on the dance floor. Even though the hurt of Christmas Eve was only a week earlier, I left it behind. I kept my disappointment to myself, didn't nag my brother about it, I just hugged and loved him and Melissa.
The only time I wasn't totally happy was when Melissa told me to stop being "fake." Here I've been sad all season and everyone's complaining I'm not my normal happy self, and I put all my positive energy out there, and Melissa says it's fake. It was like a slap in the face. I think we all know fake is not my thing -- as you can see when I got my bitch on at Melissa's house. What you will get with me is my real feelings to your face. I don't run around behind people's backs making up juicy stories about what they said about whom. I think that's passive aggressive and uncool.
No, I wasn't super excited about the idea of going on vacation with everyone, because Kathy and I weren't quite there yet. And yes, a lot of it does have to do with Richie. For the record, I never thought Richie wanted me (wait a moment while I vomit a little here)...sexually. I said "obsessed" to Melissa meaning that he has always made it his mission whenever he sees me for almost twenty years now to pick on me and make mean jokes at my expense. I'm glad Melissa shares in that quirkiness of his too now, but she's the one who interpreted it to mean sexually obsessed. I don't think people, especially family members, are sexually obsessed with me. Why Melissa's brain jumped there immediately, I don't even want to know... I've lost count of how many times Richie has insulted me on camera now, usually with a "f-in" in front of it. I can only imagine how much he does it off camera. And after years and years, it gets old. Not exactly my ideal vacation companion.