Not Perfect

I'm not going to lie, last night was not my favorite episode. What you see on the Housewives is ALL of us. Not only the good times. Not only the bad times. All the times. It's not easy to have your entire life taped. It's even harder to watch it played back on TV. It's nice when you get to see a happy memory again, like when you asked your best friend to be your new baby's godmother. It's not so nice to see the hard times -- the problems in your marriage, your finances, your business, your children's lives -- again. It's actually like living through it twice, which pretty much sucks.

We don't get to pick and choose what you see. We don't get to hide our problems. That's part of the fun of the Real Housewives shows, you're seeing inside Real Housewives' lives. You might not know everything your neighbor is going through, but you know all about your Housewife friends' lives. Hopefully it makes you feel better about your life, makes you appreciate things, gives you a laugh, gives you something to relate to, or at least gives you a night off from your own problems. We're not trying to cure cancer or anything. We're just letting you peek into our lives -- the good, the bad, the funny, the outrageous, the petty, the heartbreaking, the whole mess of it.

Yes, again you're seeing me during some hard times. Going through a very public bankruptcy but not being able to talk about all the legal aspects of the case has not been easy (and that's not because of the show, that's because of the legal system). I know it didn't make much sense when I said last night that Joe and I "won" the proceeding against us, but believe me, if you knew the ins and outs of this horrible case, the fact that Joe and I are still happily married, sane, and working hard does feel like a win. If you've ever been involved in a complicated business and personal bankruptcy or a nasty lawsuit (or two), you know the pain of this process. If you haven't, you can't imagine it. And God bless you for it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

In this episode, I'm also still upset -- yes still, still, still -- about Melissa and Kathy joining the show. I've made no secret of how it happened and how heartbreaking it was to me. It did not make me happy. I'm sorry, but you will see me not being happy about it for quite awhile longer. I don't think if Bethenny's mom just showed up on her show without her knowing, or any of the other Housewives' relatives who they had a painful history with just showed up on their shows, that they would be upset for an episode and then suddenly be over it.

Getting over stuff and healing takes time. I needed to adjust. And it doesn't happen in just a couple of episodes. But just keep watching… And maybe follow us all on Twitter and Facebook, and you'll see where we are today. In this season, we still aren't there yet. Maybe watching us go from there to here will help some of you in your own family conflicts. If anything, you can always just knock back a few bellinis and thank heavens you aren't those crazy Jersey Housewives!

I'm not perfect and I've never pretended to be. If you followed anyone through their private life for three years, you'd see them at their best and their worst. Yes, we gossip and we fight and we make mean comments and we say things we regret. Unfortunately, our mistakes are broadcast around the world. I do regret saying "my Jewish friends" to describe specific people, because I wasn't trying to group anyone together for any reason. I was trying to explain how hard it is to stay married when you are going through the issues Joe and I are going through -- not to mention tabloids, four kids, family drama, other lawsuits, our lives on TV, etc, etc… A lot of my friends are going through divorces. A lot of my friends have lost their marriages because of money problems.

Some of my friends have told me they would have left Joe if they were me. I was trying to explain myself without calling anyone out specifically, and the way I described them to keep them anonymous was "Jewish." They are Jewish, but being Jewish has nothing to do with why they would have left Joe. Their religion had nothing to do with the story, I was just trying to explain myself and not use anyone's name, and my words got all jumbled. I'm so sorry if I offended anyone, but that's not what I meant at all.

I know I might have seemed standoffish at Kathy's party, but it's because I was very anxious about going there. I didn't feel welcome at my cousin's house. There was such a strange vibe toward me, even though they might have been smiling to my face. Watching the episode and seeing what they said before I got there about the holy water and exorcism, I now know what it was. I felt like I was walking into the lion's den, which is a horrible feeling when you're talking about your family…

As for Jacqueline and Ashley's family drama, I still think that it's not for any of us to judge. Ashley has always been wonderful to my face. I can't even begin to guess what Jacqueline is going through. I won't say anything negative about them here, on Twitter, or Facebook. As Housewives, enough of our lives is exposed to the world. We don't need to add to the drama by betraying our friends.

Thank you all for your amazing comments and support on Twitter and Facebook. I read them and appreciate them all. I love my fans and love to hear about your lives, see pictures of your kids, and talk to you!

'Fabulicious' is now in low stock on Amazon, so if you don't have it yet, grab it. More are on the way, I promise!

Finally, Jay Mohr, if Andy gives you your own Housewives Therapist show, I will volunteer to be your first guest. As long as you promise to know more about us than "superfan" Jerry O'Connell…

Tanti Baci,

Teresa