Like You Mean It
Caroline's not putting on a show for anyone.
Hello again! Another week, another episode, another blog -- Where does the time go?
I’m having some trouble with this week’s blog. There are so many thoughts running through my mind, and I have such strong feelings about what you saw in this episode, but quite frankly I’m sick of it. I was sick of it then, and I’m even sicker of it now. But, I suppose I have to address it, right?
First let me tell you that whatever comes out of my mouth I mean. If I looked angry I was. If I looked bored, I was. If I looked frustrated, I was. If I looked happy, I was. I know that we speak about my body going through “changes,” but let me make something very clear; in no way shape or form will I ever use this as an excuse for my comments or behavior. If I behaved like a bitch, it was most likely because I was a bitch. There, I said it. In true bitch fashion by the way.
Clearly my attitude towards Teresa has changed and with good reason. I won’t be a soldier in her army. Again, Jacqueline and I were brought into a situation to “fix” things. I found out very early on this was nothing more than a war tactic on Teresa’s part. Remember, there were never supposed to be sides -- Teresa clearly states in this episode that Jacqueline needs to “pick a side.” I ask you this -- Why? Why do we have to pick a side? I assessed and made a decision not to enlist. I don’t like war, and if my approach seems less than loyal to some viewers, all I can say is I am what I am and it is what it is. I stand by my decision. We are all entitled to our own opinion, that’s what makes the world go round, right? Having said that, I can fully respect and understand anyone’s view; whether you love me or hate me, it’s yours to do and think what you wish. For those that understand, thank you, for those who don’t, no hard feelings.The fight between Melissa and Teresa was ugly. Melissa was upset the night of the solstice party, and I suppose the conversation with Teresa frustrated her to the point of no return. The gloves were off and she said what she had to say. Take what you’d like out of it, but I will give Melissa credit for standing her ground and defending her marriage. That was a line that should never have been crossed. Making that phone call was cruel and thoughtless with the intent to hurt. Shame. The rest is nonsense, birthday presents and whatever else was argued. Truth be told, it made me dizzy. Petty nonsense. Marriage -- not so petty, needed to be addressed.
To go back and discuss other scenes would be redundant. My last couple of paragraphs address my thoughts on the Gorga/Giudice situation. Keep watching and let the story unfold, hopefully you will get a clearer picture as time goes on. All I can say is that it’s sad and unnecessary, but as I said before; it is what it is.Let’s talk about Lauren. My beautiful, beautiful baby girl. If you remember last week I mentioned that Lauren was beginning to fall into a state of depression about her weight and her self-image as a whole. You saw some of that this week. I cannot tell you how many times Al and I would have conversations with her telling her how beautiful she was, how smart and funny she was. It all fell on deaf ears. Her response always was “you have to say that, you’re my parents.” Nonsense. We are not those parents that tell our children what they want to hear. We tell our children what they need to hear, and we don’t sugar coat it. Although Lauren was overweight, we never said she needed to lose weight for vanity reasons. She needed to lose weight for health reasons, both mentally and physically.
My husbands’ family has a history of obesity, and Albert was no exception -- he’s lost nearly 100 pounds over the last two years. I’ll never forget the doctor’s words to him -- when you are overweight, it’s not if you get diabetes, it’s when. It’s not if you get high blood pressure, it’s when. It’s not if you get heart disease, it’s when. Your risk of cancer is higher, and your life expectancy can be cut short drastically due to your weight. I remember bursting into tears and looking at him and asking him if overeating was worth him dying. The answer is obvious. He took action and is healthier than ever. Thank you, God. There was no way in hell we were going to watch our daughter go down this road.As a parent the last thing you want is to see your child hurting. Lauren needed to hear us say that she needed to gain control of her weight. Newsflash; there’s no easy way of saying it. So what do you do? You just spit it out and roll with it. I can guarantee you this; you will be hard pressed to find a family, and I mean family -- mom, dad, brothers -- who are more supportive of each other. Our delivery is certainly unconventional, we joke, we jab, but we love each other to death. Lauren knows that. Again, Lauren’s story plays out throughout the season, and you will laugh and cry along with us through her journey. It’s a rocky one, but we’re still standing, united, with my beautiful, smiling daughter leading the pack. Mom and dad love you more than you could ever know, LaLa. Xoxoxo
See you next week!