Garden Statements

Episode 4:'s Associate Editor explores all of this week's surprises (both good and bad).

May 14, 2012

This week was all about surprises. They can be good, like when you think your sons are buying a Jag and then surprise! It's actually for you. They can also be not so good, like when you think you'll have a house full of people to eat your potato salad, macaroni salad, and lemon ice and inexplicably no one shows up. Or when you think a brother and sister are going to make up but then they don't.

No. 3 - The Manzo Mobile

Damn it feel good to be a Manzo! The kids rolled into the local Jersey Jaguar dealership on the hunt for the perfect “bitch” magnet for Chris and Albie. (I like that Chris and Albie are totally cool to just share one pimp car between the two of them.) Clearly that white Jag was the right choice, because it started pulling up Lauren’s skirt right off the bat. Now that’s a full service car.

But oh wait -- the car’s for Caroline! Now that was a well-executed surprise, Al. Hats off. The Manzo matriarch can’t ride around Franklin Lakes in any old vehicle. Though something tells me the idea of a car that attracts bitches isn’t exactly a feature that Caroline would be too excited about.