Garden Statements

Episode 12: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor thinks Greg and Patti LaBelle were meant to be friends.

on Jul 16, 2012

No. 3 - Lady in Red

Joe Gorga is like a bull in many ways, most strikingly in the fact that the color red has a strong effect on him. Rather than making him charge ahead, it forces him to stay in place because of how very, shall we say, excited it makes him.

And as much as Melissa tries to deflect Joe's advances, she wore red not once but twice this episode. That's just asking for trouble. Luckily (or not so luckily depending on her mood) the kids interfered each time, thus preventing any x-rated activity. Something tells me she enjoys teasing Joe.

The bigger red flag (Ha! Jokes!) this issue raises (Ha! More jokes!) is this -- what happens when Joe sees the color red just out in public? Does he have to carry a pillow or a bag or a newspaper around at all times to hide his red-induced affliction? I think it's time this terrible illness was brought to the attention of the world. Joe needs to start a support group or charity for people who get unduly aroused by the color red.