Jacqueline Laurita

Jacqueline questions whether she ever really knew Teresa.

on Jun 13, 2012

What you need to understand is that I care for my friends very deeply, and when I see them hurting, I want to help them to get in a better place. Up until this point, I listened to and watched Teresa say and do things to her family that were hard for me to respect. Things I won't get into right now. Although I was just getting to know Teresa’s family, they never bashed Teresa to me the way Teresa would bash them to me. Her family only mentioned their concerns or said how they were trying to blow off certain behaviors of hers to keep the peace. I watched them at times trying to mend things with Teresa, but Teresa was never sincerely giving them an honest effort to resolve their differences. She was holding onto a lot of resentment towards her family and I would hear about it every morning and every evening. It consumed her so much that she became obsessed with talking about them and the conversations became redundant and mean spirited.

Trying to help Teresa became overwhelming, because I was also dealing with my own family concerns. It became difficult hearing the same complaints and her irrational thoughts about her family over and over again, when she wasn't willing to take any accountability for her own wrong doings or give an honest effort to fix things. CLEARLY her brother was and I respect him for that. He was man enough to want to go to therapy to mend things. He was man enough to be willing to accept some of the blame. He loves his sister and I could feel that. Teresa was more concerned about the way they would make her look than fixing the problem. She wanted to stay above them.

Daily Teresa would put me in the middle of her issues, whether it was to complain, gossip, ask me for advice, or to tell me what I should be doing and saying to her family (if I was her "real" friend). Very rarely would Teresa actually listen to what I was going through. I had things going on in my own life that also needed my focus and attention. As a mother, I was hurting very badly and I needed a friend to lean on. It got harder and harder to respect Teresa and her pettiness. During all of this, I was hearing through mutual friends what Teresa really thought about me. I was getting confused on whether or not I really ever knew the real Teresa, and if I had at one point in time, I wondered if she would ever be real with me again.